1X

music is an amazing thing. it can make you realize thing and change your mood and view and give you insipiration to do great things. i am compleatly lost when it comes to creating or knowing the "ways of music". but i appriciate it greatly.
it;s intersting to find somethign that just fits into your life. that explains it. somestimes you find the soundtrack to your life, and you realize that someone somewhere eles understands what you feel. you get the breif reasurrance that your not compleatly crazy. understand that i have no idea what i am talking about, there is just this thought in my head that makes compleate sence and it;s makeing me feel better. not that many people would care to know that i haven;t been feeling "better" as it where however, for now i have a little drive to i dunno, i guess look at me differntly.. that sounds so lame. i need to help myself before this goes to fari'm already scared of it...it;s like subconsiouse punishment or something. and i dunno how it got started.*shutter*
i cannot wait for school again. i need my family back.

"On this bed I lay, Losing everything, I can see my life
passing me by, Was it all too much, Or just not enough,
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare
I will not die, I'll wait here for you"

i'll never forget you

so today was christmas. it was fairly alright, i have found that over the apst few years i have been loosing my christmas spirt dropping to an all time low this year however there where some moments that while not neccisarially being christmasy made it a day that is worth remembering
~ the best present my brother has given me. he wrote a short story dedicated to me. it;s a fantacy one about a battle. this might seem not the more exciting thing but right now he is writting a fantacy novel and i think that it is really great , like he is perfest for writting it. anyways he is already famous to me so i think it is great
~exchanging gifts , recieveing something that i will cherish and getting the longest hug ever. i hope you are happy with your gift and you remember what is written by you and myself. we are wise people, maybe just not all the time.
~ and finally a crazy short film that was produced by myself and my twin who is 6 years older than myself. i hope to have it here for you as soon as she DL's it. it features holly, blue chapstick the cheerio and a domino. talks of a sequil are in the making.

i hope everyone had a great day.
LoVE

i miss you a little you could say, a little to much , a little to often , and a little more each day.

and it;s time for a new post

sooo the past two days have been super busy work wise. but i have 4 days off now yay. after dinner tonight i am going out with matt to the crazy mall so hje can do his christmas shopping and i can pick some stuff up.
the past two nights i went to see the christmas carol, the second time was better. i dunno why exactly but shmea. hehe i gave everyone in the cast and crew a carnation, becuase i know that it;s night to get flowers from people after a play ummm .. then i hung out with spencer. it was nice i had a really good time. better than i would have had at the closing night party, i am sorry that i didn;t go , but i haven;t really been in the party type mood latley.

tomorrow i am going to visit kylans family becuase they love me. hahaha and then it;s megan's birhtday tomorrow! i am excited gonna buy that girl some drink and have a real good time.
the omg it;s christmas. that kewl. i am excited to give my gifts rather and get any really. i like seeing how happy people are when they get somethign they really like. i mean i like stuff , but yea

then on boxing day .. i really wanan go like hardcore early morning shopping so i might go with matt, or if their are any girls that wanan go.. i am just suggesting cuz they like trying on clothes and stuff. but yea. umm adn then kylan and i are going to so save kaitlyn form her current location, after staying over for a night. then yea..

anyone have any suggestiong for newyears? my da just ripped up the kitchen floor tonight, so i'm sure we scould still have people over to celebrate, but it definatly has to be a smaller thing. if anyone eles and any suggestions .. yea..

things are looking up, it;s a great little world we live in
i'm happy as a pup since love looked up at me.
~crazy for you~

it just popped into my head.*shrug* that was a great musical.*heart*
anyways

I can;t even esape it in my dreams ...

work last night was sooo ridiculouse. we had out main shipment of stuff come in yesterday and one of the managers made a bet with the other managers that we could get it done last night , and if we did we would get pizza. sure ok so rick and i go at it.. hwoever there are like 5 skids like 8 feet hight and two others that are just these boxes filled with small random stuff like fish food and dogs bones and toys or w.e and they are all mixed up in no particular order.. so
i started at 4 and worked straight till 11( minus a short break for food) anyways we worked sooo hard and we got all the 8' skids done and 1/2 of the bigger dc boxes skid. no to mention facing the store and me cleaning up the back so that some of the over stock , new and fish tanks could go up onto the steel. i'm sure this is not intesting to anyone who reads this.. but i can't even explain how tried i am even today.. and i get to work more today

i miss the theatre. i am so jealous of those to get to be their now. working and then going to bed then not seeing anyone and working again is horrible it compleatly drains me of anything that i would call joy.*sigh* i can;t wait for christmas to be over too. christmas songs are go depressing when you are not all "up and happy"... they all talk about santa's gonna bring me what i want, or stay here it;s cold outside, or all i want for christmas is you.. " and hearing the same songs like 2 or 3 times in your shift... not just the same songs but the same versions ..i would say that i hear the same songs about 3-4 time and hour... times that by 7 hours

i cannot wait for tomorrow. today is going to be another long day.

help me i am in hell -NIN

so things have been alright i guess, been working lots which is good for the money however it is very exausitng. umm other than that not o muc has been going on. stuff happens ya know, there is so much going on in my head that i dunno what to do with myself. i have no motivation but i want somethign to distrat me from my thoughts. I have so much self doubt now.

i thought it would be for just a little while,
but it turned into forever
all i wanted was to fix some things
to try and make it better

i am lost in a sea acidic thought
that pours into my veins
it;s eating me from the inside
till no happiness remains

i'm so good at telling other people how to do things, but so bad at making my own dessicions.
there are somethings i just don;t understand. why did you give up, it just wanted to be bettter.
i wish i could scream, but whats the point.
*sigh*

help me i am in hell

today and yesterday..

so today was pretty nifty. braught some stuff over to kaitlyns the we braught the bottles back. then we went to the mall and i got almost all the rest of my christmas presents. yay i was uber excited to frind my dad's gift! yay. then kaitlyn and and i came back to my house and watched some epidsodes of dilberts. then we came back to the aka house where i am currently now

YESterday, meghan kylan jordan and i went to see urine town which was AMAZING, the set and acting and tech and everythign was so good, the musial it self was a litle de[ressing at the end but hey that happends.. the script was so well written. bti of trouble getting their, wha with the power out at duncan and a huge line up for gas. we made it to the show with 10 min to spare. aha. then after the show ross gave us a bit of a tour back stage of the belfry. then to deny's . i had chicken strips and mashed potatoes and gravy. it was alost my dream meal.. then when we got back to nanaimo kylan and i went to visit jill to watch a bunch of episodes of scrubs.. which is uber fun and awesome

the following chunk is part of one of the episodes that i thought was an amazing speach. it would be a good monologue or something anywas it really gave me warm fuzzies. you should read it... read it....!

Dr Cox- Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

i'd like to thank jill for finding that. i stole it from her blog. cuz i think it is awesome

but yea thats it

LoVE

dududu

sooo just thought that i would make an update. slept in alot today,, well not alot just till 11. but i woke up and was all like tired/ then by the time i knew it it was almost 1 . and i made my way to drop off spencers suff then made my way to brianna's. we did christmas crafts. yay. i made the prettiest decorations. thanks brianna for having us over. dudud then i came over to kaitlyns , we went and got some food then lee came over and we are watching some christmas things.. like right now we are watching married with children.. it;s interesting my must say.

dudud i am excited for for tomorrow. at night i am probbly going to go to the swish chalet with people for dinner and then go geoffs show. wednesday gonna go to vic with people to go see urintown...

i think i will stop now because i'm really noy paying atention... better update later

LoVe

holy cow it;s 12:50

time sure passes when you don;t do anythign all day.. this is the longest i have been chatting on msn in forever. it was enjoyable though

after the exam today i cleaned up the green room. and then came home OMG,,,
ATE PIZZA WITHOUT CUTTING IT INTO TINY PIECES yay
so close to actual eating!
then i had a bath
went to the mall for some shopping.. tried to find jill but failed.. found a nathan who now works at lush howcute...
came home and have been on the comp ever since..
yea i aknwo i am lame but whatever
so eya i really have nothing to say .. becuase i didn;t do anythign today

christmas party tomorrow yay .. mmm yummy food... ya gifties!
see everone tomorrow

new post new post

so this is just a quickie to up date. ummm stage craft final today dudud hope i did alright. theatre history tomorrow. dudu du .. came to aka to watch some movies.. watched never been kissed.. then i made mashed potatoes and then we watched pride and prejudice. i misse the warm fuzzies of meeting someone and all that jazz. i miss feeling that i am loved and special. i like girly movies, but at the same time i hate them lots. cuz i watched them and now all i am left with is a longing for someone to love me...*tear* mush mush mush

now to get away from that.. i realy have nothing eles to say. dudud
i want a hamburger and chinese food and chicken fingers and chips....
SOOON.... soon

Being nice to people doesn't make you friends

being a good hostess doesn;t make you friends, being good at art, or cleaning up after people or knowing how to solve problems doesn;t make you friends.
i know for a fact. if i did i would have more than i can count, for unless i am heinously misteaken i am a nice person. why do i not have friends? aquaintances i have many but who can say that they are really my friend? who really knows me? i think some how i must be deficient at making friends.i'm just tlaking about people to hang out with or spend time in a group, i'm tlaking abotu the people who you can spend all day doing nothing with, who you can know how each other is feeling, someone who undertsands .perhaps it is my own actions that has prevented it. i know there are people who are my friends and no matter what happens they will be. even if they move away to victoria.. which funnily enough most of them did go. augh i don;t even know what i am saying right now. all i know is that right now i am so lonely. even though i did see people it was as though i spend 3days by myself. i just wish i was closer to people, that people wanted me to go out to dinner or to coffee or shopping with them not just becuase i have a car or they feel obligated to, but becuase they might enjoy my company. what a strech eh. fuck.
i came to school today and everyone noticed my fat cheeks. is that what it takes? idunno. we are probably just so involved in out own lives, myself included to notice anything eles in the world.

i'm sick of these stupid swolen cheeks, i'm tired of looking in the mirror and starting back at a monster. here is my new trend

I hate these cheeks. i hate being cold. i hate being lonley. i hate not knowing what peopel think of me. i hate that people don;t think about me. ihate being excluded. i hate how i feel right now. i hate when i complain. i hate when i cry. i hate not seeing you. i hate being selfish, i hate how other people are selfish. i hate stupid arguments.i hate suborness, i hate bad tempers.i hate being scared. i hate how i need you so much. i hate many kind of vegetables. i hate luke warms drinks. i hate it when it;s sunny and cold. i hate it when the snow melts. i hate it when dollar stores aren;t really a dollar.i hate when i procrastinate. ihate not knowing the time i hate how my mom nags me about stupid things. i hate not having any girl friends to talk to. i hate the pain i get in my knee.i hate when people try and make themselves mroe important than you. i hate nto playing fastball. i hate pork steaks. i hate not liking strange foods. i hate the way i will forget all this tomorrow, continue on as i always do , and have all this happen again...

now before i die of negativity

i live vanilla. i like cinniamon, i like candles. i like sleeping. i like masks. i like theatre. i like venice. i like shopping. i like glass work. i like to swim in lakes. i like camping. i like mushroom picking. i like to go hiking. i like building sand forts and defending them against the waves. i like making cocktails. i like painting i like cooking and baking. i like driving, but not for too long. i like the sun when it;s hot out. i like watching movies. i like the color of my hair when it is first died. i like regular orange peko tea. i like rum. i like writting on big stacks of paper.i like chapstick. i like rollar blading. i like sitting around all day with people and just hanging out. i like makign spaghetti sause from scratch and then just eating it. i like taking picutres. i like looking at pictures of my self. i like walking places with a purpose. i liek adventures. i like eating raw cookie dough. i like dumb teen movies. i like hot hot baths. i like it when it rains. i liek storms. i like painting my nails french maniture style. i like dressing up formal. i like bare feet. i like flip flops. i like fastball.. and even slop pitch.i like hugs, i like cuddleing, i like kissing ,i like sex. i like likeing on a bed and listening to music. i like walks on the beach in the fog. i like holding hands.... someitmes.... very rarley. i like organizing things. i like lilies. i like giving gifts for no reason to people who deserve it. i like that kaitlyn likes dinosaurs. i like kaitlyn. i like ceasar salad. i like meatloaf. i like mashed potaoes. i like bread and gravy. i like how my kitten brings me sticks. i like being under blankets. i like my james bond. i like your mystery, i like massages. i like musicals. i like being in musicals. i love hippies even if they are dirty. i like my eyes, my body, my sense of humor, my feet and laugh.


i don;t expect anyone to read that, but i certianly needed it to feel better. thank you for your paticance.good night

OMG FUCKING ASLKHDLKFHASd

sometimes i hate this stupid blogger. it is all like "unexpected error" whe ni try to leave comments".. it isn;t do ing that to other people is it .. cuz they have left comment i see.. i seee!!!


sooo
to kaitlyn - there where three of us who finished the snow for , we were hard core and lee got eaten by a yetti. i love you.. i've tried to leave 3 comments

to jordan- i think your picture idea is wonderful, it;s a nice collage and i hoep it works out for you

Megan- that sucks that your boss left you off the shedual... i cannot wait till you come back! yay megan!!

amber- you forgot that you like to bite people... alot.... haha

....
i hink thats all for now.. but geeze annoying..

so anyways.. today has been very boring.. i have all all day to do whatever and have aonly watched one movie ( who framed roger rabit).. or and a bit of ace venturea .... oh and the 2nd 1/2 of flight of dragons.. but thats like it.. where did my day go.it is lame.

now i am just bored and puffy, and a bit mroe puffy and some bruised. there have been soem good pit of today though. i got my glasses back.. and i had mashed potaotes and gravy for dinner... mmm mashed potaotes.. i think that i am going to have some bread and gravy in a bit..
ahh the wonders of gravy how i love thee

tomorrow kylan said that he would come and visit me.. yay a friend. i will probabl ymake him take to the garage sale at my grannies... which i think o have told all of you about.. if you don;t knwo it;s on the forum. then i dunno.

i'm not looking forward to monday.. idunno why i just aint, thats right i said aint..
well monday night should be good. but i don;t wanna go to school. i'm all puffy... *sad face if i could make expressions*
haha i am le kewlmm bread and gravy

ummi guess thats all i got for now.. .
ttyl !lisa~LOVe

my little chipmunk

so yea, i got my wisdom teethout today so now i'm just hanging around with my ggod friends ice pack, gauze and Mr T3.. hehe. I am hungry which as well can be expected. and it is uncomfortable not reallu being able to spit. p.s i hate freezing.

in other news i have found one of my favorite movies on utube. "flight of dragons" when i was little my mom had taped it off of tv and i can really watch that tape anymore, but io found it and have been watching it. i suggest that if you are bored search for it then watchit.. it's in chunks so you will just have to look at he numbers to get it in the right order.. hey is it possible to down load those video's, i'd like to put it on cd. haha next movie to look for... the chipmunk adventure, horay for chilhood favorites. ummm yea

haha looking at kaitlyns name makes me laugh, ( i love her.. she kicked me in the face) it reminds me of willow( the awesome movie we just watched) and val kilmer.. man was he good looking in the movie... (however not so much now) and a fighter too, weilding a sword.. i supose thats the way to my heart. i supose there is a little piece of Iris in me hashaha. oh how i miss her

dududu, now i am bored. i thought i was goin to be sleepy but i am not. dudu. hopefully tomorrow is more interesting, i will have afew visitors i believe. if anyone wants to stop and come watch movies with me i am alll up for that. call first maybe... or text i'm kinda hard to understand.

OMG.. i am going to eat mashed potatoes when i eat.. those are soft.. wooo hoo..

LoVe

snow day adventure

sooo today was another snow day which was sweet. yesterday was too so meghan , kaitlyn , kylan gregoire and lee came overand watched movies ans stuff. twas pretty sweet. anyways whats really important is the awesome igloo for things that me meghan kylan and kaityln made.
dudud also been doing my art project which is a self portrate and someother things . it looks pretty good.

dududu tomorrow i get to have my wisdom teethout... sweet augh.
as much as i like the snow i am glad that the snow is going...lalala
i will post better later i just want to put a pic on for my profile.. dududud

What to do

what to do. blog woo who... woo...yea..... ... great
umm wow snow is fun. hung out a bit with lee kaitlyn kylan and michelle. school today. umm went to go hang out with spencer watched black afew episodes of black adder. umm .. and now i am home. i dunno what to do now, if i have some paper i coulf start on my art project, but i probably wont. coul dhave a bath and read then go to bed early. or hmm nope thats probably it. i wanted tp up date my post for a while but now that i am i dunno what to say or don;t really feel like describing. so i'll go do whatever and maybe be back to fix it.


This is a picture that was taken and given to me another time that it snowed... notice the heart snowflake.. pretty eh
is this a test? I hope that i pass

Damn you waking up early*shakes fist *

so i woke up early lame. i am fighting a cold or throat thing or soemthing. and when i sleep stuff build up in my throat and then i cna;t breath..... so i have to get up .. lame..
also. my cat comes into my room everymorning at the same time. last nighti was smart and left it open a bit so i wouln;t have to get up, but i woke up and couldn;t breath and had to anyways...lame

so i am wasting time here is my 100

1. i have lived my whole life in nanaimo
2. in two different houses
3. I cannot wait to have my own place
4. i am afraid to movie all the way to calgary.
5.i don;t actually like my name, i think its boring.
6. my favorite flower is a lily
7. which i have a tatoo of on my left ancle.
8. i drew the design myself, in eliza;s theatre history class
9. i also drew kylans fluer de lis
10. i am almost always cold

11.my slippers are chickens
12. i have a cat named stirfry,. and a beta fish named , little red
13. my mom talks to both of them.
14. cats are my favoite animal
15.I really like playing card games , like canasts, becuase they remind me of when my family used to go camping for two weeks everyyear
16. i love the out doors.
17. i like to go mushroom picking( the legal kind)
18.i love hamocks
19.i would rather be in a cold room wrapped in a blanket than be a comforable temperature.
20. but i like summer better than winter, by far

21. i love it when it rains really hard
22.i think that romanticaly i am a wretch to put up with because i never know what i want, but i think that i am worth it for the most part
23.i have honestly and truly loved two people in my life
24.i love the story of alice in wonder land becuase everone is mad.
25. i have had some of the best friend in the world, but most of them are gone now
26.i have had so many stiches and burned my self so many times that i have lost count
27. i broke my color bone after flipping off my bike trying to carry my ball equipment home.
28. afterwards i went and played football, because i didn;t know. it reall hurt
29. i played fastball for 14 years of my life. 7 of which where played at a very competative level
30. i played 2nd base and was relaly good at it.

31.i don;t know if i have ever felt truly excepted by a group
32. i am always tired, even if i sleep enough.
33. my favorite juice is minut made rasberry juice from concentrate
34. and i always putin more water than i am suposed to , my mom bitches about it hahahaha
35.i only like 5 differnt vegitables. corn brocollie, potaotesm peas and carrots, and sometimes lettic , but only if it's in a ceasaer salad
36.i', really bad at being kewl and trying new things, like foods.. expesially foods
37. i have given blood three times,
38.i am o posiive
39. when i am not lazy. i'm a really good cook
40.i have a realy crazy imagination and freak myself out lots of times

41.my favorite chips used to be old duch BBQ, but now hey giv eme heart burn so i don;t eat themas much
42. now i really like mrs vickies sweet chilie and sour cream
43. i love sweet and sour pork,
44. i have eaten. moose, deer, elk, bear, couger, grouse, rabbit, buffalo, crocodile and dolphin.
45.i like to paint my nails fench maniure stlye
46. i am an artist.
47. my fave thing to by artys about is painting.
48. i have sold many of my paintings and given soem away. if you want none let me know. i do commisioned works :P hahaha.
49. i paint my best most intersting work when i am upset
50. although i want to and know i can, i am scared not to find work in theatre

51.i have a really hard time expaing how i actually feel about things.
52. many times when in a group of people , nobody listens to what i have to say, either they are ignorantof others or to rude and interupt me
53. i pick up after other people.
54. i almost alway take on way more than i should. and it almost kills me
55. but i am still here so it must be fine
56. i want to go bungiee jumping.
57. i can legal handle, shoot, and buy, display firworks( those are the big ones)
58. i have traveled alot. and i really like it
59. however i could never go back packing around europe. i would starve.
60. i used to be really strong but am not so much any more. but i;m still pretty strong

61.i used to never cry
62. my intuition is generally right
63. however i generally override it withthinging and make the wrong choice.
64. i like to randomly do nice things for people
65. but i hate doing things when i am asked forcfully or told
66.i always dream in color and remember what i deam
67.i belive in the supernatural, even though it freaks me out
68. i really like to read
69.some times when i look at myself in the mirro i see differnt versions of myself
70. some of them i think are very beautiful, some are not

71.there are very few people that actually know me, and it makes me sad
72, i don;t have any close girlfriends anymore
73.i love to watch movies
74.a nd eat popcorn with extra butter
75. i suck at math
76. my favorite colors together are navy blue and lime green
77. my favorite fabric is satin
78. i am very good with duct tape.
79.i wish i could spy on people's minds and see what they think about me. so i could get an honest answer
80. i love to cuddle.

81.i have grown up on rum and coke, and straberry daquires
82. in the summer my family will all be haning around sitting in the patio just before diner or something and we will all agree that we should make drinks.. it;s so sweet
83. my parents are awesome, even though my mom is crazy. i am glad that i am parts of them. and i think it is so kewl that i can see those parts, but can also find my own
84. i'm afraid of commitment
85. i like human hearts. they look so kewl
86. i don;t ask for alot
87. i compain less, far far less than my brother wheni am sick
88. i have wondered what it would be like to swirv suddenly on the road or into trafic or off a street onto another street. i wouldn;t so it.. but i have wondered
89. i think i give good advice for the most part
90.i am very trust worthy

91.i love potatoes. especiallymashed with gravy
92. i want to have kids when i am older
93. but the though of being pregnat scares me to death, especially if it was before i was ready
94. i was never invited to many things, or was never thought of to be one of those people that had to be there, so when people specifically invite me to things i feel special
95. i'm kinda a loner
96. when i was younger i used to play magic cards and pokemon... and now i play dnd
97. my brother is writting a book and it is really good so far. i am proud of him
98. i want to do something that will make people remember me
99. i'm a big flirt and i honest to god can't help it, it;s just how i act i really don;t notice
100.. i don;t belive in god. i like since and the theroy of evolution makes sence to me.
p.s billy nye is awesome , he is the reason i like science

well i hope that is intersting enough to read. ahah wow i have to get ready and go to school. eep
LovE

956

afew hundred more to go.. yes it is the dreaded theatre history paper.. that i am fairly sure everyone.. except for meghan is writting today and tomororw. i hate to say it but i really am not taking it so seriously.. i mean leon didn;t even hand out criteria about it so .. yea
my essay will be suficient

not much is new.. i went to the dr yesterday . a specialist and i will be getting suergery sometime .. in afew months maybe?
other than that, the surgery for my teeth is cumming up soon.. yes not this friday but the one after that i will be getting my wisdom teeth out. so i will be all puffy and drugged up for afew days. feel free to visit me . i know that kylan is going to come.

u hmm . yea not alof of event... kylans birthday comming up that should be fun fun fun. dudu
thinks have been decent latly yet kinda blah. i dunno. ya know.. it;s just not what i need rightnow. i'm getting to it.


ummmmm wow i really got nothing. i just felt that i needed to update so i did . go team . hopefully i will come by with some more good stuff to wash away this crappy post..

much love

title

so tis saturday i spent the dayin bed getting sleep.... hmm i shall start yesterday

so i read this book that i am using for my theatre history paper. it was kinda boring.. well interesting but i didn;t wana do it.. anyways. i ended up wasting time on the comp. eventually after dinner i went to hang out with amber kaitlyn and alleah. then amber and i headed outto go pick up barbra and brianna. made a quick stop at thrifties and then went to the foundy.
for anyone who was way out of the loop. yesterday was brianna;s 19th brithday. she had never been in to a bar or pub so we took her. i baught her a crispy crunch and then later made her take a muff dive from my crotch. she was reluctant to do it.. but i am sure she was glad that she did. cuz later on i heard her telling the story to people at the pary. it gave me warm fuzzies knowing that she will have that memory of me haha.
anyways.. geoff and steph also showed up. and after a quick stop at the liquor store we went to the party.

barb geoff and i decided we had to make our first drinks strong... geoff won.. he was the most hard core.. he also got drunk the fastest.. which braught much humor.

mroe people came and stuf andf stuff. I ended up spending most of the night with megan which was awesome because she amuses me so.

16. it seems like i have known you worever and i guess i almost have. it;s a shame that we have never been really really close.. but i am sure after that birhtday that i ate the cake with my face you made sure to keep your distance. i think that you will be great at what ever you do. i truly believe you will be successful with your writting if you keep at it.. ther is actully no doubt in my.
mind. and success doesn;t mean making millions of dollars, it;s doing something that you are proud of. money and fame are just a bonus. i really hope that we keep in touch and then we can be crazy old ladies together. i love you.

there you are. as promissed. anyways
so some of the highlights of the night...
- infiltrating the "kewl group" in the kitchen
- making up a story that my name was alysia but i wanted people to call me lisa becuase in high school there was another girl with the same name and she was a bitch so i didn;t want the same name.
- being megans body guard, the chapstick body guard
- telling people about my camera fanny pack and waving it around
- hanging with the orange heads... no offence.;)

downers of the evening.
- being green and getting upset
- wakingup at 3 30 and not being able to get bacl to sleep until 6 30( total amount of sleep recieved.. about 3 ish hours)
- hearing the sexual experiences of at least 3 couples, some of which were very graphic, one of which was using a blanket that i braught... it must now be washed
- being trapped, by bodies and cold and miserableness and watnting to go home

so the night was good the morning was bad. at lwast i got soem good pictures. that if anyone wants are now posed on the forum.

so yea.. i left as soon as i could and came home to sleep. it was lame though cuz i had to get up 3 times to let the cat in and answer the phone and the door. why does stuff like that always happen when you really need the sleep.??/ augh... anywayss i'm alright now... sooo hungry .

will be doing my art work later tonight.. thats all i got..

my kitten loves me

she is sitting with me. stealing my blnket and making my feet go numb, but i love her

sooo today is friday. big party tonight, which i have been excited for. i'm not at the moment however so i hope it picks up. should be working on my essay right now.. but i am now. oops

wed night at the bar was kinda lame. there was a sucky person being the dj and our table was by the door. which was cold and the ciggarette smoke gave me a head ache. also on wednesday a group of us went to se borhat.. itwas so funny.. yet wrong in many ways.

thursday. fun with knots. moveing wood with leon and watching cartoons. best work op hours ever.

later that night at 70. dj night. ummmit was ok for a little bit. but i didn;t feel like dancing. and there was only us there. so we left after like an hour and a 1/2. went to timmys then to allens and watched the .... you knwoi can;t remember the name.. some time warioir... o dunno.. moveing city, cyborgs, australia*shrug* i fell a sleep. then kylan took me home and i went to bed... until...


now. i love this new blanket that i baugt.. soo much ... *heart*heart* heart*
oh yeah, and yesterday guess what came in the mail... my credit card! it's all mine muahahaha.

This is the time i should..

be reading a play. ..
be looking over my lines...
be researching for my essays....


but i'm not.cuz i just got up and it;s raining lots so i;m wrapped in a blanket. i love weather like this ...it;s got so much character. i dunno .

sooo ydesterday after class, i did a whole lot of nothing. i sat on the green room couch and was a big lazy blob.. then when i finally got my ass up to go to the library there was like no books for me to use. lame.

Woah i just rememberd some more of a fucked up dream that i had. i always have the most fucked up dreams. i wonder sometimes if that is why i am tired when i wake up. becuase generally i sleep for at least 8 hours. so whats thea dealy-o

hmm i really got nothing, but instead of doing somethign productive i will do these just like everone eles.


1. your so awesome. it;s really a shame that i never see you anymore. it always makes me happy when you sneak up or run at me and give me a hug.

2.i miss you , ya know. you and i have this weird relationship. it's this knowing what you want, but can never have. some times i think we deserve to forget about the rest of the world and just.. well i dunno waht we would be. if only things had been different, i could have loved you so much, yet i'm not sure what i feel for you now. maybe it;s some kind of love. w/e it is i cannot wait to see you next. my barnicle

3.i like you, though i suppose not some times. you are nice and smart and wonderful and sometimes i think i am threatened by it. but i wish i wasn;t and could just be your friend

4. you work so hard and are so wonderful andf sooo funny and i want everything to turn out for you. your so amazing. love

5.i hate to say it, but the last little while around you has been kinda akward. i know it isn;t my place to judge. i really hate how we are not as close. we where a pair and now, because of me mostly i feel like i'm missing something. sometimes i don;t think you are the same person. you probably are and just different circomestance and bringing out stuff...though i guess it isn;t that diffent just a little more extreame, or you are changing which is kinda good you could use one. anyweys i miss you, but things i have heard kinda made my stomach turn.

6.why do you aways have to be so difficult. we have talked, though together along time. you know what you. knwothis is not for you. why keep with it. i don;t understrand you. you say you should trust your feelings but you never do. i wish you could just be happy.

7. you are the one they want. i really like you and think you are awesome. so i understand why. i dont really know you but i wish that i did. i guess i am sad or jealouse or something, becuase i always seem to hear you name being called or said. and i realize is isn;t me that anyone wants

8.i like you, you are fun and crazy and alots of wonderful things, but i kind feel sorry for you sometimes. hwy do you do the things you do. i hate to say it but each time i see or here it, i lose a little respect. it;s nothing personal but it just kinda happens

9. what happend?! i miss the good old days when it was the three of us. i see you and we kinda hang out and you give me lots of hungs. but it is not near the fun we had before. we must go on an adventure.

10. i love you and i wish this could last forever. there are many things working against us such as time in out lives and the place that we are. you know what i think and it is true it will probably not change. for your piece of mine, this is for you. if i could do anything it would be not to hurt you, you better know that. i have been happier lately, it;s like before.. kinda. *shrug* anyways. you are hot stuff. and i like it when you show me how much you like me.*wink* i like the way we insult each other as long as it doesn;t go to far....fine

11.you are soo annoying.i want to beat you with a big smelly stick so that you know.

12. OMG your so hardcore and smart and fucking hillarious. if i do half the things you have done i will have lived a full life.

13. i'm glad we have gotten a bit closer this year. you are fun and nice and happy. i would like to do it more... hang out that is.. and maybe now that the play is over we can. i know i will see you around lots. but we should take and adventure somewhere. maybe on friday we cna have a tlak again .

14. your so od but i guess that makes you do. i can see that we have alot im common, which is kinda od scary yet assuring. even though we are very aike i know im different. my life willl be more interesting than yours and that will change me alot. io'm glad that you are you though, even if you talk to the cat.

15. ew creepy creepy creepy. give it up . i cannot belive you talked to him about me. it would be nice if i never saw you again.



yea thats it. nobody hate me if i said somethign you don;t like. though i don;t think i did. but yea. i guess i will get up and go to school . au revoir

OMGOMGOMG

what what... i don;t have to do anythign today...hell has frozen over i'm sure.

woot play is done. strike when pretty fast.. to bad i was stil uber tired and had lame work. sounds like i missed a pretty good party. very "good" for a lot of people. haha .
i'm looking forward to the parties comming up, thursday at the bad and brianna;s b-day.
then after that kylans... we must make jello shooters... if you do it twice it;s tradition..
anyways, last night was nice. had a bath went for coffee. ... .. watched a movie. why arn;t we like that all the time? itwas nice like the good old days.. i miss them.

so my rents are back, whoever reads this pobably did not know that they where gone. my dad braught back a jug of rum it is 1.75 litres... wanna know how much it costed... 21$ american .. thats less that 25 canadian.... thats alot of rum... i was like oh sweet is this for me .. but he said we have to shar it..
but i get to keep the jug after. and it is a relic, i shall keep it foralways

does anyone realize that we only have like two weeks until the end of the semester. paper time eh. ep ahaha

also comming up i get to go to the doctors alot... yea i'm sorry to say im dieing... but not yet..
really i have a dentist appointment soonish.. my knee apointment finally, and my wisdom teeth out.. lame.


so i really want a new music player. i am minus a crappy cd player and hoever crappy it was, it still game me muisc.. so i want a to be hard core and get a new i pod. they however a fairly expensive.. and i just can;t decide what color i would want.. green pink blue or black... if you think a specific color would suit me , please tell me. *shrug*

thats all i can think of. haaha and it really isn;t much .. *shrug*

i'm sorry .

closing night. thank god, i need a break. strike tonight then another party. unfortuatly i will most likley not be able to enjoy it as it will start late and i have to work tomorrow morning at 1030.

i cannot wait for "this" whatever it is ... to be over.
until then, please forgive me
--------------------------------------------------------
i am the prize in a race between two rivals. they are the same in many ways yet their ignorance of the other separates them. i am a bridge who is held up by two sides. i am the connector they shall never meet in the middle. they hold me up with love and affection, yet i am held down. without these sides i would fall, however the more they grow and shrink to meet i am twisted. I have beams that go deep within these sides, i stab deep within their being, the damage is already done.

trip to vic

so friday after james and kyle got off work we started out on our journey. out first stop was the liquior store. kyle baught some beer, i baught rum. then we where off. kyle started drinking uon the way up and after about 4 beer's kyle really really has to pee. so we find a gas station to pull over at ( which we find out later that we where minuts away from out destination) kyle runs in ... no luck no bathroom. so james and i , sitting in the car, see him run past .. hop a fence and go a little ways to a tree... it was like some park in some seniors viliage. ah the memmories..

so we make it to joshes house, unfortunatly neither joch or caitlin where there. so we went to get food and pop and chips... and search for josh at thrifties where he works however we did not suceed. went back to the house. josh came home shorty after and then we went and watch caitlin very exciting volly ball game.... 8couhgcough* .. exciting..

after that, thankfull it was over soon aftwe we got there. we all piled into james car... me james kyle josh caitlin and serina( joshes sister)... there wan;t enough room so kyle sat in the back...
then .. to the liquor store again! mmm booze..
got back home and played a huge game of fuck you.. got really drunk.. stayed up til llike 2 ish.. then got up at 7 30 the next day to drive home.

left kyle behind cuz he was going to take the bus, and james drove me home. picked u omy car and went to the build.

came home tried to read , fell asleep. kylan came and braught me chicken wings and more sleep.. i am up an dand there is work...

the end

quickie

so i just waiting for james to phone me so we can head out to vic to visit josh.. dudud i hate waiting. i finished by book. What i am to do!... blog.
there isn;t alot that 's been up. yesterday i was all blah becuase i was planning to go to vic and stay till saturday night or sunday morning.. how ever mike was like" well you shoukld REally be there on saturday".. and *sigh* i just got all dissapointed. Very sad lisa. i still dop get to go but only visit for a while tonight. josh works until 7. and i have to be back in nanaimo at like 9 30.. i mihgt be there by ten,

stupid designer. useless thats all i can say. she wasn;t even going to come this weekend.. *shakes head*grrrr* sooo tomorrow will be along day for lisa.. doing painting stuff and some light stuff with mike. o well o well.

work the next day.... Design run on monday that should be neat

so kylan comes over after rehearsal yesterday and he is all stressed out becuase apparently people don;t knwo their lines yet. and no one was learning then when they where not on stage... Boo earns to those people( i'm not saying it's everyone). just over a weekand a half till show opening! take it seriously people, the crew is doing lots to make you guys look good on stage. just remember that.

well now that i have made all the actors angry at me, i shall change the subject

went shopping yesterday . baught soem new shoes, some more mugs fro the green room> some, well all , oh which i think are very fun.

well thats all. see everyone tomorow at the build.. which is basicaly alot of painting now.

new post ... the last one was quite depressing

i'd like to stay away from that if at all possible. last littler while...
saturday- went to the build but was useless due to head huritng ness. weent and baught a book and read it until, spencer came over and we watched natural born killers and mean girls*( what a combo, thats waht happens when i have free choice) and i finished my aryt project. which i love love love... i am getting it framed.

Sunday - worked all day. i got stuck on cash which i hate however it was not realy bad becuase i was kinda training some one and i got her to go on till when it was slow.. and i got to work with patrick, he is the most fun manager to work with. then later on kylan braught me chicken wings made with love and honey garlic.. i mmm yummy.. inhaled them.

monday .. eww early art class. we did life drawing today .wich meant that we had a modle in today. and older women abround 40 somting probably. it was nice. i quite enjoyed it. i did a pretty good forshortened drawing to. and soem others

then ... then then then... our play went up..umm the theatre didnt burn down and no one threw tomatos. yes succes.. but seriously.. no one seriously fucked up and they all had costumes. and there was wonderful tech which is all i could hope for.
then thea his and acting.. i was dis interested today

went to spencers we went and baught soem movies watched... and i am now home going to go and possibly finish my book that i baught saturday.. it;s so gooood

i think that i remember that i have a stage craft mid term tomorrow. but i am very much not worried * shrug*

dududu.. do you ever feel special when you can type decently while not looking at the key board? i am doing it right now and am very proud of myself. are you proud of me to? jheheh e
aside from my horrible spelling... i;m iliterate didn;t you know that. leon just found out today...
never mind hahaha


ummm this week this week.. most likely starting painting the set. going to decorate masks. hopefully.. and and and it was tenativly planed that james and i would go and visit josh in victoria. i wanna see him in his place down there. that kid does to much and maybe i can help him relax a bit or something.... that and i miss him a bunch . that crazy kid* heart*


well i guess thats all i got . until further notice....

the worst day ever.. well maybe

yes that was today ...

first let me start with the events of wednesday night.. we all went to the gay bar and someone thought it would be kewl to break into my car..
lisa's car minus a passenger side window.

moving on today. for the past few days i have been sick and the trend continues. my first errand of the day to go and pick my pay check up from work... and of course i find that i am unable to get it beause it is locked up and the manager on duty does not have keys.. come back at 3 she says.
at the same time in the store i get a really weird pain in my neck. dunno wtf it was. however it lasted until i reached the school then it just turned into a head ache.
next i went to the back to deposit my pst. i go through the drive through.. negative the macine will not take my card.. i go inside to the atm and when it print out my recipit, it says that my updated amoun is unavaliab;e.. shigh...
so far these things have just been a pain in the ass.. i continue on my way to the school where i intent to finish my art project... however right after i leave the complex i run a red light.( first time that i have ever done that) it was the new light they put on hammond bay. i didnt ever see it till i was through... oops

so i make it to the school.. my neck pain has now turned into a headache.. i make some spaghetti.
take it and my apple juice into the theatre to get a peak of the rehearsal...
what do i do as sooon as i sit down, throw my spaghetti on the floor( i'm sorry for my bad spelling of a much loved pasta) so i pick that up.. an just give up and sit down...
rehursal ends... Oh shit... of course since my car has no window i am using an alturnative. well i forgot to put my parking pass in it.. Guess who gets a ticket!

15 dollars later, i mean it;s not that bad.. but waht a day ...
i was sitting talking with leon telling him the events of my day up just before the ticket( taht happens after) and he;s like well you knwo what day it is...
friday the 13th... i'm not superstitiouse... mayhaps i'm being taught a lession.

anyways.. isupose it was really just the morning that was a real mess.. other than me having a horrible time finding a new pair of jeans. kylan michelle and gregoire cae shopping with me.. along out travels we saw. alleah and geoff, JC, jo the firstie and tasia the firstiee... i think there where soem more lesser known people.

the highlight og my day was buying meghan a present because i know that she will love it. i cannot wait to give it to her. there will be much joy.

other than that it took me far to long to pick out movies today. building tomorrow will be good if i feel better and i still have yet to finish my art project. it will look good .

*sigh*
good night

i found this the other day when i was bored. i did it like a year and a 1/2 ago or something. it was a computer quizie thing. i think it still describes me today.



you are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.

You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.


so you see? creepy eh..
augh i do not want to work to day, i have to get ready very very soon.
last night having dinner with everyone was fun. dinner tonight.. dinner tomorrow.
i cannot wait to get work over with today. i really really don;t wanna work for 8 hours.

fare well

negative title... oh the contradiction

so today started out fine. went to the school with kylan hung around fixed the rest of the parcans. watched miked set some focus points for the IQ's. kidded so creepy guys out of the green room.
went shopping baught some awesome new shirts. went and saw spencer. went to timmy's and for a drive. visited matt for a bit. now i have a head ache and am tired
i've been tired lots lately... i find that being bored and doing nothign does that to me. and it;s just a cycle becuase i've been sleeping which makes me more sleepy, much less intersting and very much less enthusiastic to do things.. hopefully the build tomrorow with cheery me up. and dinner with people.
i guess i have stuff to look forward to , but i just don;t have the energy to care really. which to me is sad and depressing. i hate being that way. cuz it really isn;t me.

will someone fix me? snap me out of it if you can. i would be very greatful. 3 days of unhappy is not good for lisa.
i guess on a brighter note i really like this shirt i baught... it;s a very nice. anyways.. till i do this again

i"m lost

(btw this is a "lisa letting it out" so if you even read my blog feel free to skip it)

right now i am soo lost i dunno what to do. litterally i have nothign to do, but i cannot do nothing. i tired to draw but i cannot i have to much force working insode my body... do you ever feel that?
feel like at any moment you could rip your chest open just so you don;t have to feel that anymore.
crush whatever is making you like that. i'm in one of those places where you have nothign to look forward to but a row of lonley nights. i guess it matches what i am.. i shouldn't be, but i am. sometimes it goes away, but it always comes back.
if you don;t want to see me don;t make up excuses. just tell me it hurts less.
i've decided that there is somethign wrong with me. It always ends up the same. i'm not getting waht i need so i end up miserable. am i asking to much, do i just have high standars for happyness??? what the fuck is it cuz i sure don;t know. i fell like a mother looking after and cleaning up after children. what pisses me off the most is that i've been here exaclty before. I hear the words you are saying, and there are many. but where is my proof. i dont ask for alot, hardly anthign but i want proof , i want to see but most of all i want to feel. I want to feel. cuz sometimes i don;t belive what i hear.
why do people stop figthing for what they want? Do you just get it and it;s yours? not in these cases. why does history have to repeat it;s self. WHY. i'm tearing my hair , trying to get rid of that feeling, trying to figure why i end up where i started. this is notwaht i wanted at first,i did it for you, all for you cuz i thought you would be as wonderful now as then. if only i trusted myself it isnt; in me rightnow. Why did you stop fighting. you got the prize so whats the point...
i dunno what to do so i will go on, and we will see if i survive. right now it's like i;m falling apart. i dunno how else to say it. i'm not trying to splay my troubles out to the world, i just need to get the ccrap thats in my head out. maybe the pounding, and twisting in my chest will stop. maybe i can focas. figure out what needs to be. something to make you want me again. not want me ... but give me waht i diserve... what i feel i diserve or throw me away cuz i am trouble. just something
like i said... i am lost. terribley dramatic i know but everyone deserves a low point now and then and i am in mine. i will waste tonigth, tomorrow, and the next day. cuz i just don;t have what it takes for anythign. and i doubt that you will come running.

" beneith the stains of time the feelings dissapear, you are someone eles, i am still right here"
*sigh*

me thinks it is time

FOR AN UPDATE>> yay update... woooo.. woo.. ho.. yea....

today was an all around ok day.. some parts where better than others however none excellent or horrible.. did some work op stuff, worked on theatre history... *sigh* gentle frusterations... things do not have to be as complicated as people make them. i think there are some really fun things in it. i think geoff has some nice moments as the evil dude. my set shall come together and it will go up and yea. i shall give my direction then the actors, hopefully takeing what i have said into account will do the rest of the work. becuase i am tired of it. moving on

i had spaghetti for dinner it was very good becuase i was very hungry. now i plan to read the nez books i baught. mayhaps have a bath cua they are nice

TOMORROW.. we get to watch the firsties movement pieces, yay ..
friday i mioght have some of the girls over after reahearsals for a bit of a night...
and monday my mom said icould make a turkey! mmmmm turkey .. mght have afew people over... or somethign

the past little while.did afew things
- theatre one bite of nanaimo
- last market
- the song party was fun funfun for the most part anyways.. everyone check out the picture
umm yea.. thats all i got i guess.. things are going pretty alright.
btw i am excited to start the set.. there is going to be lots of scenic painting

LoVE

welcome to the cocktail party

so i'm having a cocktail party. the gist of it is on the satyr player forum. i don;t feel like explaining since i actauly wrote a post about it last night but bloger was all fucked up and lame

anyways i was p at 7 30 again.. lame.. i just couldn;t sleep anymore... i guess it's guz i went to bed at like 10... my head hurt... 10 seems so early to me, but when ithink about it thats probable when alot of people go to bed. *shrug*

lots of meetings today.. first production meeting( that i am in at elast) for the 12th night
and a work op meeting.
got some auditions that i am not doing...
then playing DND*dances*

yesterday was a pretty good day . did some re-wiring in stagecraft. after which i feel smarter for doing. then meghan and i did some more and cleaned out the paint cubourd.

( goooo team awesome *clap*) hehehehe

i think thats all i got... blaoun

welcome to the cocktail party

so yea.. in a few weeks i am having one.. i shall keep people posted. i have a bigger blurb on the forum

today was .. hmm pretty fun. in stage craft meghan kylan and i ( team awesome *clap*) did soem re-wiring on lights. uber fun .. except for rivets but i showed them..
meghan and i also cleaned out and organized the painting cubourds...

OH this morning i finsihed our script for theatre history.. my work is almost donw.. HA
anyways it;s done and i am happy.

lazed around a bit.. had a bath... worked a bit on stage craft .. i am less worried.. i was all likeahhhhh .. but now i am not... haha watched beauty and the beast with my mom.
i got all choked up...*tears* .. i was beautiful..

OH i got my check from chemainus today .. yay i can buy things ... if i want to ... i mean .. i don;tneed to ...

umm my kitten loves me.. she caught me a snake today

lots of meeting tomrorow and soem DND woot.. yay

that all i got and or an remmber / have to say


LOve

The sunscreen song

hey guys do you remember this!.. hahaha it;s from like grade 5 for me .. i like it

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

tea and kittens

tonight kylan and i went to barbs and brianna;s to have tea. it was nice. we watched the humpback of notredam.( which i am not fond of.. it; ssuch a downer) and stike which is kick as kewl... omg i haven;t said that in a while

also today i filmed a donar appriciatin thing for some people.. super easy.. hope i didn;t mess up.. haha wouldnt; that suck if i messed up recording.. i mean i only had to press 1 button... augh..
anyways long story short.. provided i did it succesfully, easy job for 50$ super

tomorrow i got lots to do ... maybe i;ll finish our script that so desperatly needs it.. or do my art projec tthat is due monday,.. it shouldn;t take to long.. but we all i know how i like to not do things or leave them till the last minut.. antways thats all i got i guess

maybe somethign interesting will happen tomorrow or somthign

forgiveme but i need to think

when...
will i see you again,
will you see me ?
will i be worth your time,
will i have your suport, attention, love?

when
will i be left out again,
will i be dissapointed,
wil i be able to figure this out.

thoughts go on cirlces in my mind. am i dreaming, or just living a nightmare. will you still be mine by tomorrows end? tomorrows' tomorrow, or the day after?

do you see what i see? do you understand?are our lives just a game and are we but pieces?

put me on pretty pedistil and watch the dust collect...

my rein has arrived

yes yes all bow down to me .....jk
what i really mean is.. yay it;s finally raining... i have been waiting for it.. i hate in between weather.. and if it isn;t smokin hot, it better be crisp and cold, or soggy outside...
i like misterable weather. it;s so nice to be inside all in a blanket and stuff. even if i am outside as long as i don;t have to stay out and i have a jacket it can rain all it want..

don;t you just love it when it pours?

anyways.. work today was ridiculously busy.. it;s like hey it;s raining and we can;t go outside... let go to PETSMART!!...woot*twirls finger*

the party at AKA was uber fun. hanging out with nikki and azusa was fun, walking to go get chips yay. i am saddened that the jello shooters took so long... i think mayhaps if they have alcohol they shoul dbe made like a day in advance. no worries.. kiddies... next party i will make more!!! muahaha.. crio-bears forever!!!! yes excellent
but yea... cannot wait for more party...
once i am done with the market.. so after september... there needs to be a party on a friday night becaseu then i will not have to work the next day. I hate being hung over for stuff,.. it;s fine if i can get up eat then go back to bed and sleep....
before i said i wanted to be a better partier... however i cannot beat down my responisbility. which makes me sad cuz i wish some times that i could just... do whatever, but there is alway this thing in the back of my mind( i think it;s call a consience or commmon sense or something ) says" umm yea , i'm just not sure about that right now".
i guess, i can;t help being lame.. i'll keep working on it though..

mdmdmdmdmd(<<<< thats my beat)*dances*


thats all i got

LOVe

i can see it on the horizon... it;s comming for me

i can feel it
so today was like many of my past fridays. driving around doing chores. got my check, went to the dollar store and got little tiny cups for jello shooters... jello alchoohol.... went to the telus store in the mall to see about my phone cancer.... there isn;t anythin they can do.. *tears* o well...
ummm tomororw market and then hanging around until the party. hope i have a good time. most likely i will face some dissapointment on a personal level but hopefully nothing alcohol with take care of or at least mask.

finished my book today it was uber good. i really like the terry pratchet series... it;s like exaclty what i like to read.

It's a funny thing... i;ve found that the older i get, the more of a girl i get .. at least in some respects.. take movies for example... i don;t like alot of action movies i find them very pointless and quite boring.. as well as gorey, martials arts type and sports movies... they are all the same and i hate watching them. i dunno.
i know there are other things aswell .. however i cannot put a finger on them.. o well i guess i can;t fight what i am .

i can;t wait till we start working on a the first show. i love working on shows so much. fun fun fun .. it almost feels like i have too much free time... like free time is good... but yea.. i duno.. yay for theatre...

so i realize soem of this is all chopy and non sence makinh... but i have a headache so i command you forgive me...

LovE

aug grumble grumble grumlbejhjhg

so my worries of yesterday where correct. i am sick. my throat hurts crazy bad. for some reason i always get really sore throats... i imagine that eventually i will have to get my tonsils out. belch

yesterday i had a consultation with the oral surgeon about getting my wisdom teeth out. medical stuff is rediculously expensive eh... like a 10 minut meeting cost 45$.. like i can understand the surgery being pricey... but a meeting... lame anyways.

ok .. so my mom just asked me what classes i have today ...and i said stage craft. then she said " oh thats stressful" all sarcastic like.so i told her i'd go sign up for more classes right away. and the other day my dad was all don;t do to much you know you get all tired and stuff..
i'd say they should reach a general consensus on what to say or not sat stuff at all...

ok so my mom is always like work work work... you have to work lots to save money.. blah blah blah.. and so on sunday ... i get off working at petsmart a bit early and go down to chemainus and paint.. and as i am leaving she shows up and asks where i am going... i say to chemainus to work on a set, or to paint or somethign like that.. then she gets all grumpy cuz i am missing dinner?????

shouldn;t she be happy that i am working... shouldn;t she be happy that i am working in theatre!!! i just don;t get it asometimes... it;s like there is always somethineg that i should be doing or something... but i can;t do it to much...

whatever... i just don;t get it... hmm what eles is new. nothing really i guess i will get dressed...
hmm i hope the student union has those dumb forms i need... *shakes fist at student union*

LovE

what up kiddies

what up... so do we all agree that the mixer was a succes? we got some of the firsies onto our side. there was much merry making. but man am i paying for it today.. i guess it's been a while since i 've dranken that much beucase i feellike shit. haha woot... augh not. whatever i hope i did a good job doing whatever it is i am suposed to do as your prez.

remember everone kylans haveing a BBq tomorrow. if you need directions or somethign ask , i think you can show up whenever...startin at three thiry. i hope you all can come. becuase more people makes more merry ment..

also it;s ambers birthday on wednesday and kaitylns..."altured" birthday on friday( to me it is anyways, feel free to join in as well) .. and at least for ambers b-day i know that they are havgin a party at AKA's on saturday the 16th( AKA = amber , kaitlyn , alleah) i;m so clever i know. ahah
anyways.. so the other day kylan and i wher epickin some stuff up at the dollar store and we ... well i found them... *flips hair* *clears throat* little cups that would be great for jello shooters.. so some party commming up or what not we should get together... and make jello shooters...

you guys remember kylans party... so much jello.. it was awesome..
come to think of it there are afew b-days comming up .. spencers' ison sept 30th i beliver as well.

anyways i dunno if i have anyhting eles good to say... come to kylans.... enjoy the weekend and seee everyone back at school on monday

this thing called bordom

so i just finihed the last mache coat on the piniata. a bit of painting and it should be all ready. mixer tomorrow i am excited.i have an awesome costume... at least i think so. dudud
ummm i don;t really have anyhtign exciteing to say.

it;s weird that all the firsties are all quiet and stuff. it;s strange how they all dissapear... o well the kewl ones will stick around. ehhh..

that monolaug thing with leon should be neat... that like what we used to do in my old acting clases.. it;s more of the stuff i like... not that i;m priofessing to be an actor hahaha..... haha
i don;t think i'm that bad though but whatever we will findout. i guess since i have nothing to do i should make a map to alex;s and start memorizing that script.

seee you all tomorrow
LOvE

update with a side of chinese food

what up yall .. thoght i;d make a little posty posty. today i am creating... a beautiful masterpiece.. that will less that a week from now be smashed intobit spilling it;s delicious and joyfull innards...
yes i am making the piniata.or at least starting it rught now. . later on today i am going to go and movie a large chunk of spencer belongings to his fathers house.
today when i went to get my paycheck and cardboard, i was cohursed into working tomorrow. it is only 5 hours, and i will be hiding in the back so it will not be that bad... i had no ther set plans anyways

yesterday i went up to the college to do afew things... *excitement* it was nice to be back up there. then i met up michelle and ace and we drove to go meet meghan for dinner at this chinese place.. the food was great but out old lady waitress was such a bitch.. especially to michelle for no reason. like what the fun.. o well .. then we went and saw my fair lady which is on of my favorite musicals.. The female costumes where horrilbe... so mad and i didn;t like alot of the acting.. well not alot but there where some people i really didn;t like.. ha anywasy it was enojoyable.... aught you guys know the chemainus seats though.. ti;s on like a slant and they are so close together... i was very uncomfortalbe to say the least. then we went for coffee and i was tired....michelle got pulled over beuase she is a crazy driver. .jk... yea yea yea


augh ... hgmm there isn;t much intesting to say.. sunday i am going down to chemanus again to take down the my fair lady set. which was painted nicey and i did enjoy the scene changes. then the next day is school. it is so close.. it seems like i will have so much free time. just like looking at my time table there are these huge half days and i;m like wow time.. haha ... i dunno. i', sure i will find somethignto do.

i guess thats it.. 3 days. FIRST MEETING TUESDAY !@:12:30

LOVe

Looks like somebody's got a case of the mondays...

name that movie.. dudud nice... good job..
soo it;s monday. i worked at 7 like always... but not forever.. to be ... always... 2 more days of early and then i just work every sunday. awesome eh i think so. so yea i am just taking the afternoon off, read some of by book now i am sitting in my pj's. might go to a party later, more people are leaving.*tears* but i might just relax and go to bed early.

mayhaps i will have the energy/inspiration to paint something. The other day josh gave me a wonderful gift. one of the most thoughtful i have ever recieved and well i guess it just made me feel that my art is actaull ypretty good. like i generally like the work i do. at least for a short time. however i means somethign to me if Other people sincerly enjoy my art. and not just on a yea wow thats pretty neat , but like a " i've been effected or changed in some way becuase of amazing bueaty before me..." or something like that.. hmmm i think i just might..
i might go get soem more paints .. cuz you can always use more paint.. oh... and brushed .. cuz mine all all fucked.. and it shall be in the theme of wonderland. ( by the way josh's gift was the complete worksof lewis carroll, who wrote alice in wonderland and alice through the looking glass, as well as a rather thoughtful sentiment.)
i love alice in wonderland... because everone is mad... it;s just aweosme.. love it..

i home i get around to it... haha ... i'm so tired and lazy curretly..

dudud hmmm i guess i gotta go and get my books and stuff ready. i wonder if i will really have and book... OH i hget art supplies.. i am taking 3 art classes this year. which means art suplies that i don;t have to pay for.. yay.


anyways i supose that enough rather useless drabble. i'll inform you if i get around to doin gthat painting.. as well as putting a link on which you may view it.

today, it;s been a long day started out good with sleeping in.. but then i felt sick for most of the day with an ugly headache.. the loads of stuff i had to do at work did not help. so i am not in the most upbeat and energetic mood. which really sucks cuz there are two gatherings that i was suposed to go to.. one for my brother who is leaving on monday. He is movie to nova scotia. And the second is for josh who is leave on sunday to go to victora. so what do i do ... end up going to neither because i am tired and ichyish... how lame is that. i was going to watch a movie and have popcorn with extra butter, but i dunno if i could last through a whole movie. Do you ever notice how your movie attention span goes down if you are watching it alone.., i always change what movie i wanna watch like 10 min in.. especialy if it;a a disney and i see adds for other disney movies thati have ... and i'm like " ooo i'd rather watch that one"anyways

have you ever done something nice, something you knew you had to do cuz i's just the right thing to do , dispite what you really want or if it makes you sad or somthing. I hate that. sometimes i can;t stand my niceness. o well.

i don;t even think i wanna watch a movie anymore... but i need somethign to do that allows extra butter popcorn to be consumed.... how about a bath.. its it weird to eat extra butter popcorn in the bath? maybe i;ll do that.. i don;t care what you think .. you can't judge me.
*cough cough* i apologize..

more better interesting updates to come....

.. i'm sorry i lied... there isn;t any coming .. they got lost in the mail and could take 6-8 weeks. thank you

chocolate and flowers are nice, but forplay makes you go mmmmm

so the tool concert was awesome. i ended up going with spencer rick and chris. met a bunch of my old friends on the ferry took the bus with them , walked around got drunk saw the concert it was good. the next day was less good because of tiredness, getting lost looking for a dumb building while caring my backpack with sore feet.. i was a bit grumpy to say the least. anyways
sleeping in today was good. went and visited josh , saw some more kyle

just ate some peanut butter sandwiches... yumm.. augh going to work....

i will update better later.. i just need a new post... just because,, aug work.... lame... good bye
*heart*

Call me a bitch but it;s me or you. and this time i'm thinking of me ...

today suvked so much and crying just isn't making me feel any better. so to start off i just spilled a bunch of stuff on the floor in front of me, which i will get to clean up. whoopie. so yesterday was the fireworks, not that big of a show, but for some reason i feel like compleat shit. so 1/2 of yesterday and all of today i am tired and sore. not just sore i'm weak, i can;t even lift stuff .. i was struggleing with 7kg things of litter. that not heavy. i cna;teven beguinn to exlain how depressing that was. having trouble with 15 pounds. i almost lost it.. i mean i have cried becuase of work before.. the stress or whatever, but never at work and i almost lost it. cuz you knwo what i had somethign to look forward to, key word in that sentance is HAD... beucase i no longer have that. i was suposed to hang out with spencer and he was gonna give me a massage and we where just gonna hang out.. and that probably would have made my day mostly , if not compleatly all better. but no,. much like i should have guess he got called into work and won;t be done until i am in bed, beucase i get to get up at 630 tomororw to go to work. sweet. and spencer will probably have to work tomorrow to so i , if at all ,. will only get to see him for a very short time. and i if i don; get my massage, i probably won;t get it. . cuz we will forget , and all i want is to feel better. i'm just so sore and tired. FUck i just wann skip ahead a week. i don;t wanna go though tomorrow , or the next day ... or the next 5-6 s days. i don;t even care about the tool concert right now.. the concert i payed 80$ for and will surly pay alot more for , i don;t even fucking care. as of right now i don;t even wanna fucking go .. i don;t wanna go over tomorrow night.. or walk arounf vancouver. or wait in line. listen to band i love and then spend another night. i don;t wann get home 1/2 way through the day. and be so tired that i am probaly just going to sit on my ass and do nothing. i just wanna skip it all .. but you know what i have to do it.. becuase the plans are made, the tickets payed for and what eles am i going to do ... what am i going to do .. not go waste my money. kick myself for it later.. foget about the ticket i didn;t even want kylan to buy me becuase i was supoed to go to the convert with spencer. i don;t even care what you think about it. i don;t are about alot of things right now.. all i wanna be is happy and i can;t be that until i get this stupid trip over with, and i know right now that i seem like a total bitch but did you ask me waht i wanted .. no you assumed.. and i was just stupid and was to fucking to polite to correct you cuz i didn;t want you to get all whiney and bitchy at me.. well it;s my turn .. not everythign is about you. maybe if you wheren;t thinking about yourself all the time you could see what others want or how they feel. btw i don;t feel the same way , so yo ucan just forget it. i don;t wanna cuddle.. or give you kisses , don;t leave stuff on my car .. i don;t want it. i makes me uncomfotable.. you've had your chance and you fucked that up. i just don;t care enough to keep it in anymore... i'm so tired of making eveything seem like it;s ok .. this has honestly beenthe worst summer ever, i can;t wait for it to be over. two more weeks left.. hopefully things will improve. but ytouknow hat even looking a head won;t save me from tomrorow or the next day. i'm just going to go cry myself to sleep and hope i feel like i can bear it tomorrow.
don;t feel you need to comment or tell me it;s ok and that everyone has a bad day. . i know that.. i just needed to get shit off my chest and i can never put it verbaly into words.
you... don;t get upset don;t whine.. listen to what i have said and deal with it.. get over it. move on. cuz i dont wanna listen anymore.

So i lied

... i said i would post the day after and it;s like 5 days later... so shoot me. AnyWAYS.
done with 5 days of work. DAY OFF TOMORROW! and pay day .. double wamie...
the past weekish i guess hasn;t been filled with alot... except for early mornings and early bed times...
Yesterday was ambers picnic, which i was very happy with, it was awsome.. .props to amber. good times had by all. it was nice to see you all, it just makes me want school more. then i went to visite kylans family... cuz they love me... and i made them cocktails. but i was uber tired so i wasn;t so much up for the party. i would have liked to picknic more.

Saturday i'm doing the market and then going to do the fireworks in parksiville.. come see...
it is my last show before i get my level one display fireworks lisence... then i can get payed.. woot.
then 3 days of work ... and tool ... it hasn;t really registered yet.. i will be excited when we leave for it. you know what eles is awesome about tool.. two days off.
then less work... then school.... omg school.. i hate to be repetative, cuz i hate it when people ask me or tell me the same thign over.. but omg... school.

umm i guess that is all i got becuase there isn;t really anyhting to talk about all i do is work and go to bed early... i am a boring person... but it;s like an illness that i should recover from as long as i get the right dose of theatre, CM rum and sleep

*heart*

past my bed time

yea so i should be off to bed, 7 am shift.. augh . lame .. umm but i just though that i should show you my tattoo , i got it done yesterday at black and blue. umm not much eles is really new with me more work thats about it. will give a better update tomorrow or something..

love
~lisa~

my day off... woot

ok ok .. so today is my day off. omgi know. it's been pretty good so far i've got to say. i remember at the beguinning of summer , beofre i got a job i just kinda did whatever.. now though i appriciate my free time.. i dunno anyways.
so that day started off with me taking spencer downtown so he could get his second tattoo. a polynesian(spelling?) band and a geco.. it looks very neat. but it was gonna take a while so i went and visited josh. which was awsome, i heard some good stories.
"my barnicle would tell great stories" hahaha you remember i think they are great and thats all that matters. haha but anyways then crazy kyle showed up and we was all chatten.

then i had to go and pick up spencer and we went and fell asleep cuz we where tired form geting up early. i love naps. haha youknwo when you are like a kid and you are like augh naps are for babies.. but then you get older and you are like omg these are sweet what have i been missing...

dropped spencer off for work that it turns out he didn;t have. i've just been chillen on the comp doing my reguar stuff.

i was hopping that james would be able to get away and we could hang out or w/e cuz he texted me wed to do soemthign but who knows. sometime i hope to go and see ben. i was hoping maybe today with james, but he already has many visitors tonight. next week hopefully

tomorrow... guess what is happening tomorrow.. i am getting my tattoo. at 4 at black and blue.. i am excited and i think that my rents have accepted it..
yesterday i told my mom that i was going to make an appointment and he was balah blah balah and he said that i didn;t love my dad any more beucase i was getting one.. he said it in like a not serious tone but kinda trying to make a sneaky point.. and i duno it really bugged me..

so here is my mini rant even though it does not compleatly pertain to me beucase i don;t really have alot of resistance against getting my tattoo.
i just don;t understand why people get so worked up over it. like why it is a big deal . like o the comment my mom made just go tme thinking. how does something like decorating my body effect my love for someone eles, or their love for me in return?
the way i see it , is that the tattoo i am getting is an extentsion of my self and my personalitly. like it means somethign to me, i drew it. it;s how i am expressing my personality. and i'm sure that lots of people with tattoos feel the same way . i just wanna show people who i am in another form. *shrug* i don;t even remember all the stuff i though i of about the subject.. but yea... what do you guys think? i know jordans had issues with people and his tattoo.. even though it is soo awsome.. i mean come on . it;s his family moto, that so kewl. anways yea


soo i decided i wanted to write down some of my favorite lyrics.. cuz i love lyrics.. but you don;t have to guess them, you can just enjoy their poetry.. however you are welcome to


1) nothing like this, felt in her kiss, cannot resist her, fell for her charm, lost in her arms, i keep a photograph. give me a glimpse, let me come in, be there inside her, here it beguins,here is the sin, somethign to lie about.

2) there's a trator here beneith my breast, and it hurts me more than you'd ever guess, if my heart could beat it would break my chest.

3) song of laughter shades of earth are ringing through my open ears, enciting and inviting me

4).. and you can't fight the tears that aint comming, or the moment of truth in your lies. when everything feels like the movies. yea you'd bleed just to know your live.

5) there's not much left to love, to tired today to hate

6) oh my beautiful lier, oh my presious whore. my disease my infection. i am so impure.

7)tonights tenants range from a lawyer and a virgin, she;s rising with her rosery tucked inside her lingere

8) there's evil in the air and thunder in the sky and killers on the blood streets. oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly arise, i know i swear i saw a young boy down in the gutter, he was starting to foam of the heat.

9) Desensitized to everything. What became of subtlety? How can this mean anything to me If I really don't feel anything at all?

10) follow me down to the valley below. the moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul.

11) don't open your eyes you won;t like what you see, the devils of truth steal the souls of the free. don't open your eyes take it from me. i've found you can find happiness in slavery

12)lets drink to the military, the glass is empty

13) would you cater to every fantasy i've got, would you hose my down with holy water if i get to hot.

14) i know there must me something wrong with me, out of all the hours thinking so how. i've lost my mind

15) she reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by, hoping someone will see

16) The way you hold your knife, The way we danced till three, The way you changed my life, No they can't take that away from me

17) and thats what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head. it;s the way that he makes you feel, its the way that he kisses you, it;s the way that he makes you fall in love.

I guess thats all i got.. love these lyrics.. haha anyways ta ta for now. i'm going to go clean the pile of clothes that i call my room... of any by the way ..while i was writtign this i notices how awseome the cap of a 2-6 of campain morgans spiced rum looks .. it;s all metal and slogany.. i shall use it in art... one day ... just need to drink my lots of CM to get enough caps to make somethignout of ... hehe

fitting out

what up ... another day has past, well pretty much. worked, visted spencer, got soem pizza visited some more old friends at tidy's. they where haveing a martini party which i would have enjoyed greatly if it where not for my extream tiredness and work at 7 tomrorow.

tomorrow should be a pretty good day. work should go by quickly and then i am hanign out with matt and shari. they are my favorite co- workers.. i;m sure i have said that before. my furture looks so bleak right now. it seems like all i have to look forward to is work.
i guess the tool concert is comming up , but i haven;t thought about it much. i dunno

i am looking forward to school so much. it seems that lately i have noticed how i don;t fit in to the places that i used to, like groups and certain people's lives. i mean i can't excpect everyhitn to stay the same.. but for most of my life i've always felt a little outcast and for the past year or so that wasnt the case as much. but not being able to see anyone has really braugh me back to fitting out again. thats why i can;t wait for school. cuz i know i will it in there. i will have my friends around me and we willl be a group again. i dunno. mayhaps i am just lonely. after thinking about it , i don;t really have any friends that i can talk to, or rather that i see and can share stuff with... save for one who i dunno if i know anymore. i dunno if i am just being crazy but it;s like you are two diffent people or i just don;t knwo the person you are anymore. and it drives me crazy cuz all i wanna do is know,

i sometimes think i can see the future or know what will happen... i hope that i am wrong. august is definatly no fun. in fact this summer has not been the greatest.. it goes to re-enforce how i could never live with a regular job. i need to do something that means somethign to me , or i'd probably go a little more insain.

well i supose it is to bed for me early again. i'm so fucking tired.

sometimes i wonder if you would be better off without me... but id miss you to much...love

5 of 8

tomrrow 6 of 8...
augh work.. it;s not looking to bad since i am past the 1/2 way mark. was soo exausted today but i made it through the whole day. i had to i had stat pay. haha. umm after work i went to spencers and chiled there.. pretty much just had a nap wich was so nice.. for some reason spencer's bed is so comfy. then i came home ate, woke uup a bit and went to michelle;s to see her and jordan and swim a bit.
the river was nice.. lee showed up and we hung aroudn ate some hot dogs. went to the foundry to see if pam was working... she was not..

ende dup goign to fast eddies, matt joined us. we got the tripple play. it was good times now i am home and going to be in bed by 10 becuase i am soo fucking exausted.

dunno whats shaken for tomorrow

wednesday i was suposed to donate blood but i'm not anymore becuase im tired enough already. going to hang out with matt and shari from work .. they are my favorite people to work with... cuz they are awesome. haha .

ummm hopefully going to go make an appointment to get my tatoo this week... kylan make sure i do that eh .. haha. umm

but yes.. bed,,, night all

p.s. 4 weeks 1 day

juste parce que

so just a breif up date about the past few days.. the wedding was sweet, saved matt from himself and his tequilla. some how i always end up taking care of someone. i think it;s my mothering nature. kylan got all grumpy for soem reason at the end of the night. *shrug* next day watched some she;ds the man. baught some new clothes, went to a dumb staff meeting. went to see a salt water aquarium which was actually pretty neat. watched soem cleaks cartoons.

monday ... got up early to go to work. got off early met up with james and we drove to the cabin. had some sweet shinanigans.. naked dish washing for back massages. fuck you. skinny dipping with life jackets... mine was really small ahaha.. the first night was definatly the best... the rest was kinda slow was still good. i read my really sweet book.. i heart it... came home did my work laundry . went and saw spencer... today i am just wasting time bwfore work.. augh...

i get payed tomorrow .. sweet. thats all i got

Ten random things you might not know about me (or probably do):

10. I played fastball for 14 years, 7 of which where at a very competative level
9. I am an artist... i swear
8. my favorite colors together are navy blue and lime green
7. I have been in love twice
6. my least favorite color is orange
5. I always work to much and end up killing myself, well very close to it
4. I am going to be a crazy cat lady
3. I am slightly worried about my future's financail security the first few years out of school. i wonder if i will have enough skill and drive to be a h-core designor or set painter
2. the recent aditions to my wardrobe make me feel more mature and ready to take on the responsibilities of school/ fall// w/e...*shrug*
1. i think that i am lucky... not in the luck that you win things or fin dlike money or w/e.. but ther have been many time where i realize how very lucky i am and i realize i wouldn;t trade my kind of luck for the other

Nine places I've visited:

9. Istanbul, turkey
8. Pompe, ummm greece was it>? ... omg don't remember... the volcano spot
7. barcelona, spain
6. Cainns, fance
5. Piza, Italy
4. Venice, italy
3. The virgin Isands, US
2. can cun , mexico
1. TOFINO!, BC

Eight ways to win my heart:

8. make me laugh
7. Give me a massage
6. bring me mile and cookies
5. Listen to me
4. understand me, or at least try to
3. realize i don't like lots of "stange" foods and accept me still
2. Do something randomly nice for me
1. give me rum ... hahahaha

Seven things I want to do before I die:

7. own and be able to ride a unicycle
6. design the set/ paint one for a big time show
5. work in europe somewhere
4. fine someone to spend my life with
3. travel around the rest of the world
2. be as well loved as my granny was
1. paint a master piece

Six things I'm afraid of:

6. spiders
5. natural disasters
4. becoming pregnant before i am ready to
3. strange foods with many ingredients
2. people making assumptions about me before they know me
1. ummmmm pink fluffy... soft..... stuff...*shrug*

Five things I don't like:

5. people who are rude, especially for no reason
4. people who dont listen
3. complaining about something after someone has given you a solution
2. people who lie to me
1. selfishness

Four ways to turn me off:

4. trying to control me / mylife/ w/e
3. excess mushy/needyness
2. hairyness
1. bad breath

Three things I do everyday:

3. EAT
2. brush my teeth
1. do a dumb dance

Two things that make me happy:

2. working on a show
1. being with people who: make me laugh, i love, have the same interests, are awesome

One thing on my mind right now:

1. Finishing me sweet book before , augh work