dustin and lisa's adventures

So i was reading eryns blog and she inspired me to write the tale of my own adventures.
Lets start with the day first. Got up and started working on my directing thing, skipped first class( i'll just read the book) to work on it. do some excersizes then go to second class. Apres class get dustin and we get stuff to make taco's. apres dinner do some more work for a few hrs. phew, brain can't work anymore... lisa says " hey dustin you wanna go for "
Dustin: " sure"
Lisa " wanna get high first"
dustin " ok"
anyways long story short we went for an epic walk one this trail. there is this lake by our house and i guess that we expected it to go around the lake , but we took the wrong fork in the road i guess so it just kept going and going. for the first part there was this old guy in a schooter with a dog and a big orange light.. and we passes him .. then i guess he turned around.. and then was following us.. we decide that it was a horror movie. for the longest time the air smelled so cool and delicious, like black berries: they where everywhere. we went under like 8 different bridges, they all looked different. we gave them names and genre's i gues. a japanese one., old train on, square one, super round one, ext ext some of them had murals under them which was awesome.
we walked over an sleepy hollow bridge, and one over douglas street and another one over this big lake. it was beautiful. we could see the parliament building lit up. the sky was covered in a blanket of soft linty clouds, with the calming amber glow of the city reflected onto them. the buildings around cast light and reflections on all the water around us. and above all though we where in the middle of the city, it was peacefully quiet. After the bridge( at this point we has probably been walking 45-50 min) there road split off into 3 ways. we chose one and continued on, eventually it led us to these weird apartments. it was like man made perfection. very tight and tall, with shaped roofs, and painted alternating colors. red, blue, orange, green... there where nice are in everydriveway and a garbage can next to them. it was architecture... so precise it had an erie feel to it. shortly after that we turned around to relive the events that we had experienced. there was one point we stopped to look at the lake and as we got near, there was a big splash behind some bushes. dustin and i both jumped back.. we both thought that i was an alligator. haha there where many different landscapes that we passed. some of them stood out. they all had a feel and a genre. i made up a little them song about dustin and lisa's adventure! and we fantasized about what our opening theme song video would look like. it was pretty sweet. i think thats about it. over all it was just an amazingly interesting walk. it lasted for 2 hrs and boy are my legs sore today.
tonight megan form my ball team is comming over and we are gonna catch up and have a good time. tomorrow i'm comming to nan and going out to dinner with my beautiful friends and then gettin fucked up. aside from all the homework i have on the go( which i am proud to say i have been working on every day ) i have a pretty good weekend coming up. !
horay!
see you all tomorrow* heart*

i wrote a post... but decided not to post it. It expresses how i feel at this moment. but i realized no matter how i feel,or no matter how articulately i express that fact, people will go on believing what they want.
This is a pineapple lantern that i carved. some of you will recognize it and know what is playing on the screen in the back ground. I am getting sick and feel ichy right now. this picture has brought me to peace. We have had some fucking awesome times.

Dont let the days go by Glycerine

i am two things right now, tired.. but also not tired enough to go to bed. i feel that today was a fairly good day. i seemed to accomplish alot of things and this makes me feel the day was a success. i did a bit of work on my project. handed in a application for a work studies( apparently i did have enough credits i am just a idiot and can't count) registered for another course bought some house stuff at walmart, cleaned up my room ( i have a floor!) trimmed the ivy. had some x rated cinnamon toast, went for some car rides. made delicious stir fry and watched big fish. it was a good day. i was responsible yet laid back and enjoyed parts of my day. OH.. and i made cupcakes and nathan called me which was super nice.
i think thats it now.
Originally i was thinking about going to nanaimo this weekend, but i have many things here to do. like garden. i have a house that i have to take care of, i thought of it today that it is kinda a weird concept i've never had to deal with before. it;s just weird that , i bet most of us, never think about how much work it is to take care of a house. well i think i am getting the picture.
anyways i guess i'll go to bed now.
fare well . and good night.

suffocating with air all around me

i've almost reached the end of where my patience goes. I try to be honest about how i feel. i don;t think there should be any misconceptions. maybe your just not hearing me so good.
this summer was a great experience for me. i had good times and i felt free. i did things for myself, and just myself. when i moved i thought i would be continuing that trend. expanding what and who i knew. I feel so trapped right now. It's not kewl. Not kewl. I know this is partially my fault. I am not able to live free. I guess i connect with people to well. anyways it doesn't matter what has been. not at the moment. right now all i want to express is my annoyance, and frustration. when i am walking, grasping for my arm and holding on will only make me want to run. trying to see/ talk to me all the time. When did you decide i deserved so much attention?
everyone wants a piece... this pie is not for sale. This pie needs some fucking room to breath.
Don't worry to much, it's not Just you i'm talking about.
don;t be upset, i just want some space to decide what i want as opposed to pleasing others.
My first reaction for this sentance was to say that i was sorry, because i thought writing this is somewhat harsh, but then i realized if i said what i felt, i don;t believe that you would hear it.

Let me reiterate just so my point is clear. I need space to breath.

Come inside just for a second, baby show me your attention ...

friday morning... i can't decide what to do. there are probably, in fact i know there are, plenty of things that i should/ could be doing, but i really cant decide. I find that this often happens when i have time to waste. I become lazy and indecisive. I have a big project for my directing class that i should find someway to start....

Victoria. i like the city, love my house and the people i live with. however i am not settled yet. i have accomplished the bus. you probably all know that i am not bus savvy, so i see this as an accomplishment. i suppose my next task is to become part of the theatre community at the uvic theatre. i want to know how the theatre is run, and be part of it. it will probably take some time. as of now i feel disconnected to it. I want In.

the other day i was thinking... i have flipped from being into wanting commitment to being afraid of it... well no not being afraid but certainly not wanting it. i have made this flip before, however before it was in the opposite direction. I find myself emotionally unattached in a romantic kind of way. I still respond to hahaha lets call it " male stimuli" , however i see it as more of an instinct hahah ( when i say that i don;t mean in a directly sexual way, but if there is a cute boy... you wanna flirt with the cute boy and get some attention kinda way) ... i'm intrigued and curious and want to know more, perhaps feel more. but not in a "love you till the end of time" kind of way.
I feel as though i am an entity , living for myself. i don't see this as a bad thing. i'm quite content with myself. i just think it;s interesting how i switch from wanting things. Over all it is a strange thing for me, i'm used to feeling so much, so deeply, and now i just don't. I know it is not forever, and i know there is nothing i can do to change it. eventually something or someone will happen that will change me again. until then i am content. i have enough things to short out. hahah

it;s funny when you have a silly thought, you wish for something to be true.. and then you look back and realize it is...

I'd sell my soul, my self-esteem a dollar at a time

My girlies are coming to visit today! i am soo excited. i know it hasn't even been a week but i'm excited for you to see my new house. It's very spacious and cozy. there are still a few bits of junk around but for the most part we are all unpacked.

i had my first classes yesterday. one i am on the wait list for but slowly climbing, and the other is called applied theatre. it sounds interesting. *shrug* then i have directing today . dunno what that will be like, i feel that i will stick out hardcore. but hopefully i will get into the swing of things. it was suggested that i take that course so i am.

i was hoping to be a work studies student and get payed for working and junk, but it just reading the things now it doesn;t seem like i am eligible. for one i don't have a huge financial need and 2 i am not in enough classes. i guess i can try to apply anyways, however i doubt i will be accepted. poop.

*leaves and returns*
horay for clean windows.it almost freaks me out how much of a "home maker" i am. i love entertaining, and keeping a clean house and looking after my boys.
haha last night we took a trip to walmart to get some garbage cans and other junk. i got some cleaning things , and josh and kyle bought these nerf dart guns. they are like a shot gun and some kind of riffle. we had a good few hours shooting them at each other. i thought to myself this is prob the best thing ever. i get to hang out with some of my best friends every night. haha. it probably won;t stay that way. but i wonder how it will change. i could understand how girls would turn on each other, but boys are different. i guess we will have to see. i have confidence that it will turn out well.

For one taste, one taste, one taste of you, my Magdalena

How will i break the news to you

here it is. The first victoria post. Moving went as well as can be expected. i have a bunch of tiny bruises but there is was no major problems. then i had an awesome night with you guys. i'm glad we got together. the next day ( sunday) i woke with a sore throat, i thought nothing of it, because of the previous night. did a few things, waited around and got to see my brother for a while. Then i made my way down to victoria. we have so much stuff, and i am still not done going through it. i started with the kitchen , and the living room . so those are basically set up. there are still afew boxes around. then bed time. the next morning, ( monday) i woke and my throat was still hella sore. Wtf so i look at it , and it is all ugly and puffy and red and junk. i'm gotten strep throat a lot so i know what it;s like. i carry on with my day, knowing that eventually i will have to go and get a prescription for drugs. dustin and i get groceries and junk, then when we return and sit to watch a movie, i start to feel really crappy and go to lay down. shortly after my darling joshua offers to take me to the clinic, which fills me with great relief. i detest going to see the doctor so i generally prolong going, and while i have been to victoria many times i do not feel at home here yet. It's always nice to have some one looking out for you. *loves* thank you joshua. after that adventure i get some penicillin , and strangely i feel even worse after taking some drugs. i felt like i had the flu for a day and a half.
went to an orientation yesterday with tasia, it was neat however painful, i felt uber crappy. stared to feel better later on in the day though. i made dinner... and butter,, and hotchocolte. hehe so now when i feel up for it i will make myself some x rated toast. hehe anyways
dudud bed.
wake up in the middle of the night scratching my neck. long story short, i believe i am having a mild reaction to the penicillin. today i woke up early and picked some back berries on my back porch. then i visited with the two cats that came to visit. there is a really friendly black cat that comes. hehe horay for another cat friends. ummmm yea and since then i have been doing stuff making my house look pretty and my room clean .

umm ummumm i am excited for you guys to come and visit me and see me new spiffy house, it is pretty fucking sweet. thats all i got i guess. sorry this was a terrible post, but i thought that i should update.
love you all

You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..