well this is it..well almost. haha, tomorrow i move the majority of my junk down to vic. then either sun or monday i am there for goods. woots and woes' i think the only think i will miss about nanaimo will be people, my friends the most. you guys are my wonderfully diverse and colorful rocks that i hang on to as the ocean of life moves me around. i love you all. i guess i'll miss my family to , including my cat.. cuz come on she is awesome.
i just got home from my last day at work at the restaurant, and although it was a closing it didn;t feel that terrible the first part was busy.. and then there was a little rush then no one came. it was also lans birthday so we just chilled and ate some ice cream cake. then i finished up and said good bye. i made pretty sweet tips. 72 bucks. for some reason some people just gave me massive tips. like 10 - 15 $ for nothing speical. i guess they knew it was my last day haha nah. anyways it;s sweet, i'm going to use it to celebrate with my favorite people. anyways i am realy tired and it will be a long day tomorrow so i best get some rest.
*loves*
Falling slowly , eyes that know me, and i can't go back...
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
i payed my dues, to watch the dividends roll in...
Well,,, i guess somewhere along the time i payed my dues. either that or all my frantic diligence payed off. we have found a place to live, and in mere hours we will be signing papers and writting post dated cheques.
lets start this story friday. which i believe could have been or was close to the day i wrote my angry life blog...either way . lisa was not a happy person friday. i spent most of the day franticly searching the interweb for houses, sending e-mails , making calls. and then i went to work. oh meanwhile i am texting kyle back and forth because we are suposed to go to the cabin the next day. however i do not feel that we should go spend time relaxing while we still did not have anywhere to live. i didi not want to be at work... but finally i return home and find that some one has messaged me back. yay a viewing. so then i make my way, slightly more optimistic, to give the gift of chinese and enjoy some company of crack whores and hobo's.
next morning wake up 8 am. set my alarm so that i can call back dude. and then go to see a house that day. also find another house to set up viewing with. nice. get a hold of kyle tell him i can not come to the cabin becase i have 2 viewings to go to. mean while i am texting dustin in victoria because he is going to come with me. make my way to vic. then i realize an hour before the 1st one that i don't actaully have the adress to the house. just the street. dustin and i wander, trying to guess which house it is, we knock on some doors and fail. so down hearted we head home, but after looking at a pic decided to try once again. and we found it. yay for deductive reasoning. see that house , apply, and we are on our way to the next. in the end i am glad that these poeple decided to do something that we where not willing to do ( that being wanting a 1 year lease) because we would not have then had our luck,,
anyways back to the story. we see the second house, dusting and i, however they want to meet kyle and josh as well so we set up for them to meet on monday.
lisa returns home one night for terribly boring bbq.
Monday. i hear back from the first house we saw . rented, not us. so i believe that we will get this other house and i guess make sure that i am going to arrange and be there for the boys next meeting. that time comes around, monday night we meet the girl to discuss. she tells us they want a one year lease. This place was hella nice, however it was fairly far away. we would have been able to put up with it for afew months but not a year so, as soon as she said that i knew it was a no go. so we head home, pondering what we do. haha and pretty much as soon as we get home , josh dustin and i are all looking to see if there are any new listings. there where. we where all looking at the same house ondifferent computer haha . anyways so i phone and set up a meeting for 9 am the next morning. kyle josh and i go, its a wonder ful house, will need a little care on the inside but i'm all into that. i see that he has seen other students. so i make the offer that we will pay him an extra 200 each month and sign a 2 year lease.( a trick that somone else pulled to get that other house we looked at) the house has space for a 5th person possibly, so we may find someone and the rent will be cheaper. timeout, let me finish the story, so we leave expecting him to call us back so we can come back and meet his mom who will be looking after the renting, he was going away. however he called back an hour later and offered us the place.. haha and then called back again to make sure we braught all the stuff today to make it official and junk. so anyways fairly nice house. spaciouse kewl deck out back, 2200 plus utilities. 2 year lease. like 600ish a month total. thats doing pretty good i say pretty good. any if we find someone else it;s even better. but i'm not concerned at the moment because i have somewher to live. and once we are all settled you have to come down and visit. to see , to get very drunk see my lookout post. whatever. i am not going to be a hobo yay
anyways i should be back thursday, have my last shift on friday. i want to see you guys before i go, not that i won't be back , but i am going to hella fucking miss you. i can honestly say you are the best group of friends i have ever have, and i don't intent to let you get away because of a little drive. i love you all. talk to you soon
*loves*
lets start this story friday. which i believe could have been or was close to the day i wrote my angry life blog...either way . lisa was not a happy person friday. i spent most of the day franticly searching the interweb for houses, sending e-mails , making calls. and then i went to work. oh meanwhile i am texting kyle back and forth because we are suposed to go to the cabin the next day. however i do not feel that we should go spend time relaxing while we still did not have anywhere to live. i didi not want to be at work... but finally i return home and find that some one has messaged me back. yay a viewing. so then i make my way, slightly more optimistic, to give the gift of chinese and enjoy some company of crack whores and hobo's.
next morning wake up 8 am. set my alarm so that i can call back dude. and then go to see a house that day. also find another house to set up viewing with. nice. get a hold of kyle tell him i can not come to the cabin becase i have 2 viewings to go to. mean while i am texting dustin in victoria because he is going to come with me. make my way to vic. then i realize an hour before the 1st one that i don't actaully have the adress to the house. just the street. dustin and i wander, trying to guess which house it is, we knock on some doors and fail. so down hearted we head home, but after looking at a pic decided to try once again. and we found it. yay for deductive reasoning. see that house , apply, and we are on our way to the next. in the end i am glad that these poeple decided to do something that we where not willing to do ( that being wanting a 1 year lease) because we would not have then had our luck,,
anyways back to the story. we see the second house, dusting and i, however they want to meet kyle and josh as well so we set up for them to meet on monday.
lisa returns home one night for terribly boring bbq.
Monday. i hear back from the first house we saw . rented, not us. so i believe that we will get this other house and i guess make sure that i am going to arrange and be there for the boys next meeting. that time comes around, monday night we meet the girl to discuss. she tells us they want a one year lease. This place was hella nice, however it was fairly far away. we would have been able to put up with it for afew months but not a year so, as soon as she said that i knew it was a no go. so we head home, pondering what we do. haha and pretty much as soon as we get home , josh dustin and i are all looking to see if there are any new listings. there where. we where all looking at the same house ondifferent computer haha . anyways so i phone and set up a meeting for 9 am the next morning. kyle josh and i go, its a wonder ful house, will need a little care on the inside but i'm all into that. i see that he has seen other students. so i make the offer that we will pay him an extra 200 each month and sign a 2 year lease.( a trick that somone else pulled to get that other house we looked at) the house has space for a 5th person possibly, so we may find someone and the rent will be cheaper. timeout, let me finish the story, so we leave expecting him to call us back so we can come back and meet his mom who will be looking after the renting, he was going away. however he called back an hour later and offered us the place.. haha and then called back again to make sure we braught all the stuff today to make it official and junk. so anyways fairly nice house. spaciouse kewl deck out back, 2200 plus utilities. 2 year lease. like 600ish a month total. thats doing pretty good i say pretty good. any if we find someone else it;s even better. but i'm not concerned at the moment because i have somewher to live. and once we are all settled you have to come down and visit. to see , to get very drunk see my lookout post. whatever. i am not going to be a hobo yay
anyways i should be back thursday, have my last shift on friday. i want to see you guys before i go, not that i won't be back , but i am going to hella fucking miss you. i can honestly say you are the best group of friends i have ever have, and i don't intent to let you get away because of a little drive. i love you all. talk to you soon
*loves*
Friday, August 22, 2008
...going fucking mad.
just let me start by saying fuck you life. you are a temping devil who wields uncertainty as her great sword. i am going ... hmm lets see kinda nuts at the moment. i have a week basically for find a place to live and i'm not doing so great. i started looking over two months ago and have had no luck in all that time. so what makes me think that in once week i will secure not only what i want, but what i actually need...
at the beginning of the week i was hopeful. i had found a house and got an immediate response to go and look at it. i have not heard back as of yet , which makes me very sad. not only was it affordable but it was quite nice.. and awesome. i suppose i still have a sliver of hope seeing as i do not have a confirmed no on renting it, but.... *sigh* i will phone again today and perhaps e-mail. at the very least i need to know i cannot have it.
today i messaged 3 more potential houses. some of which where just posted today. so here's hoping.
i don't know what it is. bad luck? fate? why is it that even thought we try so hard, even though possibilities are dangled in front of our face, why do we have no luck. sometimes it seems that we are soo close, but then it is taken away and we are father than ever, with less time and less hope.
in one week and 3 days i will be in victoria. i will miss my friends and life here. i am going forward into complete uncertainty which i hate with every part of me.
i am irritable and unhappy. i will not be happy until i find security. for not i am going fucking mad.
at the beginning of the week i was hopeful. i had found a house and got an immediate response to go and look at it. i have not heard back as of yet , which makes me very sad. not only was it affordable but it was quite nice.. and awesome. i suppose i still have a sliver of hope seeing as i do not have a confirmed no on renting it, but.... *sigh* i will phone again today and perhaps e-mail. at the very least i need to know i cannot have it.
today i messaged 3 more potential houses. some of which where just posted today. so here's hoping.
i don't know what it is. bad luck? fate? why is it that even thought we try so hard, even though possibilities are dangled in front of our face, why do we have no luck. sometimes it seems that we are soo close, but then it is taken away and we are father than ever, with less time and less hope.
in one week and 3 days i will be in victoria. i will miss my friends and life here. i am going forward into complete uncertainty which i hate with every part of me.
i am irritable and unhappy. i will not be happy until i find security. for not i am going fucking mad.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
and my only consequence is my own self disgust ...
today will be an interesting day. for the majority of the day i have nothing to do but sit around and think. luckily i get to work opening which means i don't have to close. i hate closing. i'm really getting tired of working at the restaurant. i can't wait for the day when i don't have to have shitty jobs. i really can't stand them for that long.
It's strange. On one level i am pleased at the person i have become, the person i am now. But when everything catches up , when you take a moment to reflect, you realize that there will always be dark things about you.
I wish i had a better understanding of people's minds and emotions. They never fail to confuse and amaze me. not just other people's but my own i suppose as well. i wonder if i should paint today. it seems like forever since i have painted something for myself...
two more weeks till summer is over... i wonder what my life will be like after that..
It's strange. On one level i am pleased at the person i have become, the person i am now. But when everything catches up , when you take a moment to reflect, you realize that there will always be dark things about you.
"Remember, your a wreck an accident
Forget the freak your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
Shit, snort and blaspheme let the heads cool and the engine run
because in the end everything we do,
is just everything we've done. "
Forget the freak your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
Shit, snort and blaspheme let the heads cool and the engine run
because in the end everything we do,
is just everything we've done. "
I wish i had a better understanding of people's minds and emotions. They never fail to confuse and amaze me. not just other people's but my own i suppose as well. i wonder if i should paint today. it seems like forever since i have painted something for myself...
two more weeks till summer is over... i wonder what my life will be like after that..
Friday, August 15, 2008
A quarter and a kiss is all i should be worth to you...
so i have kinda given up hope that we will actauly have a house by september. it's like when you just get so much rejection that something doesn't seem possible anymore. so that is really kinda depressing, because all i want in to have a home again. Not that living with my parents is really bad, but i hate feeling censored. i can't truely be myself. I also hate living out of boxes it uber hard to keep organized. anyways thats my depressing thought for this blog post. Lisa = homeless.
in other news i had a wonderful day yesterday. it was soooo hot and awesome out. met up with drew and went for some good old fasion breakfast at mgm. it was actually super good. mmm hashbrowns. and then we made our way to the gorgiouse river. where, very shortly after, martha, nathan, dan , and liam met up with us. we had a grand time. once we dispersed drew and i picked up some beer and groceries for deliciouse stirfry and margarita's! martha and eryn soon joined and we played boche ball , and drinking games. a day like yesterday is what life is all about. good times with good friends.
and tomorrow ... along with being my dad's birthday that i might not even see him for and just got him a gift today... is eryns party where there will be much more merryment. and i don't have to close so i will get to enjoy more of it!
anyways i am starving. much love.
in other news i had a wonderful day yesterday. it was soooo hot and awesome out. met up with drew and went for some good old fasion breakfast at mgm. it was actually super good. mmm hashbrowns. and then we made our way to the gorgiouse river. where, very shortly after, martha, nathan, dan , and liam met up with us. we had a grand time. once we dispersed drew and i picked up some beer and groceries for deliciouse stirfry and margarita's! martha and eryn soon joined and we played boche ball , and drinking games. a day like yesterday is what life is all about. good times with good friends.
and tomorrow ... along with being my dad's birthday that i might not even see him for and just got him a gift today... is eryns party where there will be much more merryment. and i don't have to close so i will get to enjoy more of it!
anyways i am starving. much love.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
you are the brick , i'm so unpredicable, led by the current away
so i just woke up from like 4 hour nap. in the middle of the day.... after getinng up like 2 hrs earlier. i dunno what it was. i made hash browns( which i decided reminded me of thundercats, i'll explain later) then read my book for awhile. then i just felt so tired so i went to lay down on my bed. 4 hrs later here i am. i blame it on my dreams. i am under the impression that because i have such vivid dream and remember them that i am not really in the proper state of sleep. so often a full night of sleep i still feel tired. i guess it was not so bad today. i was wonderfing what i should do today before work. and i ended up watching my crazy dreams. *shrug*
hash browns remind me of thundercats because spencer used to make them for me when we where watching thundercats. and i guess i make them like he made them. it was a strange sensation here i was makething something to eat and i was thinking that i was about to watch thundercats,
in other news, i'm getting tired of my work so hardcorely... last night i had to stay till 9 , because the new girl couldn't quite take it. which pissed me off, cuz i had plans. the worst part is that when i first got there at 4 there was no one. no one even showed up to eat until 645. BALLS
*sigh*
i really don;t want to work tonight. 4.5 hrs seems like agony. i'm so glad i have tomorrow off , and hopefully can get friday off. then apres that who knows, but i do know that there will be 4 of us working again so i guess i will tell cassandra to give me less hrs... thought after how badly the new girl did last night might be forced to work more. hahah i can totally tell now ( and i have been thinking this for a while) that i will never be able to have one steady job, i guess at least not a shitty one. haha i need to be free and changing kinda. haha i guess thats why theatre or the arts will work for me.
anyways thats all. still don't have a house . hopefully we get one soon*sigh*
hash browns remind me of thundercats because spencer used to make them for me when we where watching thundercats. and i guess i make them like he made them. it was a strange sensation here i was makething something to eat and i was thinking that i was about to watch thundercats,
in other news, i'm getting tired of my work so hardcorely... last night i had to stay till 9 , because the new girl couldn't quite take it. which pissed me off, cuz i had plans. the worst part is that when i first got there at 4 there was no one. no one even showed up to eat until 645. BALLS
*sigh*
i really don;t want to work tonight. 4.5 hrs seems like agony. i'm so glad i have tomorrow off , and hopefully can get friday off. then apres that who knows, but i do know that there will be 4 of us working again so i guess i will tell cassandra to give me less hrs... thought after how badly the new girl did last night might be forced to work more. hahah i can totally tell now ( and i have been thinking this for a while) that i will never be able to have one steady job, i guess at least not a shitty one. haha i need to be free and changing kinda. haha i guess thats why theatre or the arts will work for me.
anyways thats all. still don't have a house . hopefully we get one soon*sigh*
Monday, August 11, 2008
Without the sour the sweet wouldn't taste
i've decided some truths about myself.. they are as follows...
i am a giver i will give you the shirt off my back or my last penny if i thought you needed it, but don't dare take anything from me... i need to surrender things of my free will, or i become very unhappy.
there are men in my life,romantically or otherwise, but none of them control me.
- as of now i am a free soul, and i am talking advantage of the life i have to live.
my life is prioritized like this.
human contact, work , sleep ,food, other.
i will always make time for people first and for most. they help me keep my sanity when things get going out of control. if i have time for work i will generally take it, despite the strain it may cause. if both are needed i will sleep before i get food. or think of it this way i would rather sleep in than get up and make breakfast or a lunch for myself. food is good. and then many other of my lesser responsibilities or wants come after that. i'm sure there must be exceptions but this seems generally true.
i've had some time to ponder things over the past few days. and this is what i figure
i am a giver i will give you the shirt off my back or my last penny if i thought you needed it, but don't dare take anything from me... i need to surrender things of my free will, or i become very unhappy.
there are men in my life,romantically or otherwise, but none of them control me.
- as of now i am a free soul, and i am talking advantage of the life i have to live.
my life is prioritized like this.
human contact, work , sleep ,food, other.
i will always make time for people first and for most. they help me keep my sanity when things get going out of control. if i have time for work i will generally take it, despite the strain it may cause. if both are needed i will sleep before i get food. or think of it this way i would rather sleep in than get up and make breakfast or a lunch for myself. food is good. and then many other of my lesser responsibilities or wants come after that. i'm sure there must be exceptions but this seems generally true.
i've had some time to ponder things over the past few days. and this is what i figure
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I don’t know how to break the bottle I’m living in...
i work every day the next two weeks except for thursdays. poop. o well i guess at lest i will be doing something productive. and i guess 10 30 - 11 is not that late. maybe i will be able to save lots of moneies for my car jar... i want a yaris! hehe keep hoping lisa...
really there are more important things in my life right now, like where i'm going to live. my dearest joshua is working so hard to find something. but i am very disappointed in our other two friends. *shakes head* what are you going to do? you can;t make someone responsible, or willing to help. so here's crossing my fingers for the place they are looking at tomorrow. i can't wait to move, i feel so condensed right now.
first step find a house, second step ... yea.. so as of right now i am only registered for 2 classes first semester, and waitlisted for one... i have 3 classes 2nd semester... the problem is, i don;t know what to take. i can't get into any of the art classes unless i am getting an art degree.( well i might have a chance if i show up on the first class , they might let me in) but other than that... there are hardly any theatre classes i can take... especially right now so what the fuck do i do... i think i may get a job, and only do some classes. i dunno, i've looked, there doesn;t seem to be anything for me.
really i don't know what i am doing. can't i just jump forward afew years.... nah. arn't i suposed to want to spend my life here, in this time...
maybe i will just marry some rich guy and live like a queen, do art all day...
any takers?
didn;t think so ....
... Don’t leave me now
really there are more important things in my life right now, like where i'm going to live. my dearest joshua is working so hard to find something. but i am very disappointed in our other two friends. *shakes head* what are you going to do? you can;t make someone responsible, or willing to help. so here's crossing my fingers for the place they are looking at tomorrow. i can't wait to move, i feel so condensed right now.
first step find a house, second step ... yea.. so as of right now i am only registered for 2 classes first semester, and waitlisted for one... i have 3 classes 2nd semester... the problem is, i don;t know what to take. i can't get into any of the art classes unless i am getting an art degree.( well i might have a chance if i show up on the first class , they might let me in) but other than that... there are hardly any theatre classes i can take... especially right now so what the fuck do i do... i think i may get a job, and only do some classes. i dunno, i've looked, there doesn;t seem to be anything for me.
really i don't know what i am doing. can't i just jump forward afew years.... nah. arn't i suposed to want to spend my life here, in this time...
maybe i will just marry some rich guy and live like a queen, do art all day...
any takers?
didn;t think so ....
... Don’t leave me now
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