tomorrow i am a princess

i am so very annoyed right now. i fucking hate people who come into the restaurant late... and then just slowly eat and then sit around after they are done eating, WAY TO BE INCONCIDERATE DOUCES! (sigh) o well i guess its over for now...
i have been meaning to post for like ever... wel maybe after days.. so what. the stange thing is i actaully have thought of interesting things to post about, unlike my usual " today i went to the store, i had stuff for lunch blah blah blah, it was of substance , i guess i will try and impart on your my thoughts.... now..
more and more i have been thinking about people... really i always think about people but in this instance i have been thinking that many people believe that they know how they and other people should live their lives... i can think of several people off the top of my head. people try to empart their " divine wisdom " on you, when really it totally doesn;t work for you... fuck half the time it probably doesn;t work for them. people have their own way of going about things. you stick with your way and i'll stick with mine and then maybe we can both be happy. i hate when people try and tell me how to live my life, try to tell me what to do. i can appriciate imput , but not when it's yelled at me without reason. i don;t respond well to nagging either.
i've been thinking about myself. and what kind of person i am, i am sensitive to other people's emotions, i can generally feel what other people are feeling even if i don't react to it. i'm all about how something feels, and while i do use facts to figure things out, in the end i use my gut to figure what to do. i'm not confrontational, i don't like to fight, i don't like to yell. it makes me uncomfortable. perhaps thats why it takes me so long to get angry. i generally back down even if i know the other person in wrong, because really i don;t think it;s worth it. When people start getting angry over stupid shit chances are they arn't going to listen to reason. fuck that reminds me of sam. thank god i never have to see her again. fuck . P in the A. i don;t like to hold onto things. i tend to forgive and forget. if there is an offence against me that is greater it will simply take longer , but there is no doubt in my mind that i will get over it. it often surprises me what i get over. emotions are so funny. it;s strange how they can be so drastically different withing such a short span of time.
..... i'm thinking about myself, becaues i have been thinking about other peoples perceptions of themselves. it's so funny how different our perception of our self is than other people's perceptions of us. If anyone is up for it, or bored or something, will you write out a little blurb about me. just the first things that come to mind when you think of me. they key points maybe or even go in depth if you like...leave a comment or message it to me if you like... i just wanna see what the difference is between what you think and what i think....
anyways... i guess this blog post makes up for my lack of decent blog posts.. i am kinda just rambling now. O well at least i'm not feeling annoyed anymore. just very introspective.

tomorrow i am going to vancouver... and i am going to be treated like a princess. it is nice when people show you how much they appriciate you, i think it is something that isn't often done. I certainly don't feel the appricaition i think i deserve... but i guess that just does along with how we see ourself... it;s how we see our actions.. and how other people view them. maybe i'm not as kind or giving as i think. maybe my offers to help, or the simple act of waiting for , or with someone has less value in the real world than it does it my head...

p.s. pemberton rocked

2 days 18 hrs, 38 min and 43 sec

The time draws near!about a day and a half remains until we set forth to the great pembertim. *hearts* ZOMMG so excited. i have finished the flag. my father helped to make an awesome flagpole! we will be able to find where we are yay! today i finished the t-shirts!! tank tops whatever... they are not fancy but still awesome. tomorrow i will buy some colored permanent markers so that we can get people to sign them and junk. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee




it's strange but i am rather sleepy at the moment. i guess it makes perfect sence for the past week it seems i have been going non stop. if i'm not working, i'm hanging out, or shopping or working on junk for pemberton( which is totally worth it)i could totally just fall asleep right now. all i have to do is put myfd head d ddowwn.gftcj..............*drools*

.... drivers test tomorrow, hope i pass. not that i am a bad driver or anything i just get very nervouse sometimes when i am getting tested. i failed my N test twice. poop the first time because i was nervouse( not that that fucking bitch as cunt of tester helped) and may have backed up onto the curb... the second time when i had the same cunt of an examiner , it was total bullshit.*steams with anger* ....... so i guess the moral of the story is ihaven't had the best luck with driving tests......
p.s. if i do pass someone make sure i have my passport with me , because otherewise i will have no picture id and that could be big troubles..... i have it close to my stuff , but just in case.

anyways i think i am going to do something... restfull..

it'd go the whole wide world...

what day is it... i keep getting the feeling its the weekend , but then i remind myself it isn't. dates hardly matter in the summer. unless you have super awesome things planned.. like pemberton!
one week and counting ladies. one fucking week. breath breath, gonna be soo sweet. but back to my previouse train of thought, and it is gone... left the station good bye
ope here comes a new one. mm i just had a deliciouse dinner . terriaky steak, with potatoes and corn on the cob. unfortunatly i am very sleepy now.poop.

ummm so i got back from victoria today, it was fun , though we still do not have a house to live in which is unfortunate. i will be sooo happy when we finally have one. there will be much celebration. i can;t wait to live on my own again. hmm anyways. i guess thats it. i really don't have much that is exciting to report....
off to work soon, i wonder if i can have a power nap.hmmmm
LOVES!

look at the moon slowly rising, look at those starts up above

i am sitting in a tank top and my underwear with the fan on. it is nice. i love it when the nights are hot. they have an energy. i can;t really describe it, it;s like it gives you life... inspiration. it makes anything seem possible... and the act of simply walking the streets feel like a grand adventure.
when i think back to high school summers i think thats what i think of. wandering the streets just being out with friends..
i remeber some of my old friends would walk by my house and call out my name. then when i heard them i would go out and sit on the grass with them and just chill. it was a wonderful time.. but really .. thats all i miss about highschool. haha .

OMG.. so i just found out the funniest thing. i am in my tank and undies and i went to go take my bra off and i realized it;s inside out haha... here i am thinking to myself " wow why is this so hard"
but then i figured it out and now feel a little foolish. but not really i was in a rush to get to work this morning... SEGWAY
sooo tasia and i are sitting in bed looking at appartment ( that sounds sooooo funny but really we were) and my boss calls says no one showed up for the buss today... so i have to go in.. andways do the bug come home and veg because i have to work again at 5. du du du ... go to work at 5 again no one showed up... so i had to work all night my myself which was balls on one level because there where two reservations and 4 other largs groups showed up, luckily i got out at 1130 because no one came late( like last night.. bastards)and i made fat tips. sooooo i guess it worked out pretty sweet.
( lisa finally takes off bra)
hmmm what else is new.nothing.. oh i made a fish pick.., it;s pretty awesome.


darling just for tonight, until we get it right, lets make believe we're in love..

As the world falls down...

i'm not 100% sure what it is... but i haven't been happy the last little while. maybe it's an effect from moving back home, maybe it's that i'm being fucked over at work, maybe it's the lack of drive i have. maybe it's my disappointment with uvic, maybe i'm lonley. it's probably all of these things combined. It kinda feels like everything around me is kinda letting go, falling loose. I'm not doing anything worth while and it's upsetting me. the past few months i felt quite happy/ content but in the last week it seems to have totally shifted. *sigh*
i guess on one level it's good because i totally don't want to stay in this funk. i have some idea's that i want to do. i guess when i am unhappy( not all the time) i get inspired to change something. earlier this year it was my eating and junk. but funnily enough when i was really happy for a few months i kinda slacked off. it's like i need to be miserable to change.. ha ha or at least produce interesting art work. hahaha oh to be a tortured artist.

i'm sure i have told you, or mentioned it... but what i really want to do is sell my art. i've dabbled but what i need is to go and fucking do it. the only problem is confidence i guess. i have a love hate relationship with my art, i love it , then hate it... i am never really satistfied, so because of this i never really think my art is good enough to sell(despite the positive feed back), and when i do sell it i generally tend to under price it because i feel bad taking lots of money A) for work i don't think is that great or B from people who are my friends. i need to find somewhere to sell it otherwise this is my biggest blockade. i need to find them... i need to go to galleries and ask to put my work up. i just get nervouse doing shit like that. but i guess if i am miserable and want to change that then i have to suck it up. does anyone have any suggestions as to where i can sell/ display my art? i know of one farmers market. do you need a permit to sell stuff by the water front? is it acceptable to go into like coffee shops and ask them to put your work up? how do people do this?

one day i'll be an artist