life is a lemon and i want my money back

a day off for lisa. horay. it started out with a well deserved sleep in. friday and saturday where busy days. thought not as busy as i had previously thought they would be. i had more time in between my gigs and work. man work is ridiculously busy. friday was pretty sweet thought, i had some awesome visitors.. nathan, jill, lisa and steph.
yesterday after work i rushed home to go meet up with the gang at acme for spencers birthday. everyone was finished and then dispersed, so spencer lisa and i sent for a walk around town in the rain. sexiest trio ever. haha i took spencer home soon after.

anyways balh balhblah , today i went to visit my grammies and got some of her recipes. i tried making my favorite cookies, jumilie jumbles. but they just didn;t turn out right, they arn;t bad, but i can;t eat them cuz i know what they are suposed to taste like. o well next time . also today i baught myself a marinated steak. and it was deliciouse.
hehe somehow i got a song from mulan stuck in my head so i decided to watch it. later i think i will have a bath.
days off are good. hahah though writting this make me realize i don't have alot of interesting things to report. o well

*heart* lisa

for jill...

because she asked.
so today i woke up feeling particularally crappy. you know that feeling in the back of your throat that is all gross and you just know you are getting sick. thats how i woke up. no to mention it was fucken like 7:30 cuz i had to be at school at 8. lame. so anyways it was like i had a ridiculously long theatre history class and the whole time i felt icky. and now my body just hurts. i guess this week i have been going pretty hardcore. tomorrow and the next day are going to be intense. working on bit of nanaimo in the morning/ afternoon and at my restaurant at 6 and 5 till close it think. = lisa being exausted on sunday. i went like everywhere looking for something. yet came home disappointed. nothing is right. we will see where i end up with that. bah not much time to dally.
i wonder how work at the restuarnt will be in fri and sat. good i hope.

i think i am getting sick because my body, is like " wholly fuck lisa,, slow down" but what does it know.. cocky body... ahahah i like you guys, you bring good times my way. i wonder if jill still wants to hang out tonight, i guess i will just bundle myself up and vege until i hear back.
mmmm recouperation.

i don't think i will dress up for the song party. for some reason i just don't seem into it. i dunno, maybe i'll find something last minut.

umm i guess thats enough for now.. my brain doesn;t seem to be working too cohearantly

p.s. tonight is going to be so lonely, it seems like forever since i have slept by myself.

a broken plate and 80$

so shortly ago i just returned form my first real shift at the golden inn restaurant. i had a whole section to my self. which included a reservation for 16 eep. and i had to close, which kinda sucks but it;s kinda ok too .
so i get there and for the first hour and i am kinda in a rushy panic. and well yea... i had to much on my plate once and it toppled when i was putting the dirty dishes to be washed. broken plate.. augh.. felt so horrible. hahaha like fuck, i suck. but after about an hr i got into the swing of it. hopefully i will keep the swing of it for next friday when i work again. mmy feetses hurt and i am quite tired yet awake. but the hightlight of my evening was coming home with an extra 80$ in my wallet. the big table tipped me 70$, plus some other tables. so really i made more but i had to give 10% to the cooks.. what evo,,, yea.. haah i probably won;t make that much every night. but it excited me... so i am telling all of you.

eryn's b-day tomorrow..
eryns going to be old.. should we start calling you granny..?
no.. ok never mind. forget i said anything... dudu d
night loves

i'm surrouded by yarn

crazy knitting people are in the jill and steph house. eeeee
todays events and such, print making project done... work.. in 3 hrs( which i am still kinda nervouse about, i get my own section today and i have to close everything up eee.)go see spencer still waiting for a call. day off tomorrow. yay . this is my first day off in a long time. it will be nice very nice to sleep in and not worry about when i have to get up or what i have to . and i can relax and then go to eryns birhtday and have a sexy time. oh and kaitlyn and i are wanting to go to across the universe tomorow. people could come if they want. i'm not sure when we are going. dudud
um um um

i don;t got a lot. hmm

yess well...
that is all
love

metaphor for a misssing moment ..pull me in to your perfect circle...

for the most part today sucked balls. to put it plainly i am quite mentally exausted from the past five days. i did not want much today. anything, it could have been anything. i hate time. one way or another it always seems to be my enemy... being to much or too little, no time for me. it;s the story of my life no time for me. i always try to make time for other people. no matter if i have to stay up later .. or go out of my way specifically to see someone. i late being late. i hate being to early. i hate waiting. sigh i hate how selfish a being i am sometimes.
though i supose i deserve a little of what i want once and a while. but.... i hate that i get all sad and moody when it isn't available...

today started early with a bright blast of sun which i loathed with the core of my being... and then a ridiculousely long art class.
"i have become impossible
holding on to when , when everything seemed to mattermore
the two of us
all used and beaten up,
watching faith as it flows, down the path we have chose,
you and me , we're into this together now....
.. until the very end of me, until the very end of you"

"the farther i fall i'm beside you, as lost as i get i will find you , the deeper the wound i'm inside you forever and ever i am a part of you."

i love that song...
anway continuing. i burned my tounge on some stupid tea that i was all excited for but then i thought it smelled funny so i couldn't drink it .. lame
" twice as clear as heaven, twice as loud as reason, deep ans rich like silk on a river bed"
then i went to work at chemainus, which ithey could of actually done withought me. i just didn;t want to go. i couldn;t think, and all i wanted was to be wrapped up an comfy and happy. not the case. pretty much the whole way driving to chemainus i felt like crying. you know when everything in your life just seems to be out of wack or too much. and it seems that the only think that can make you feel better is just to cry out all the horrible feelings and thoughts in you. well thats kinda how i felt, only i couldnt cry becuase i have to be at work.
"why don;t you kill me , i am weak and numb and insignificant"
so they didn;t have alotfor me to do sooo, i did stupid stuff all day.. finally when i was able to leave, i got a call from kaitlyn saying that they where going to boston pizza, which i thought would be fun .. so when i got home i decided that i needed to get all pretty cuz i felt shitty and normally that helps. i told kaitlyn to get hotted up with me, because she wasn't going to see terry and i though would be fun. our boys didn't wanna hang out with us so nuts to them we are going to be pretty. unfortuantly ... at least for me going out didnt make my day any better .
dinner was ok, except i ordered chicken fingers which ya know .. i love.. and i got shitty ones that you like make yourself... like the ones you buy in a grocery store... what i afucking rip off.
" a startlight in the gloon , i only dream of you, and you never knew.
sing for absolution , i will be singing, falling from your grace, ooOOOooo"

soo yea boston pizza sucks big hairyballs. so after that kaitlyn and i went to walmart cuz we had to pick up afew things, and normally shopping , especially buyign things i don;t need, cheers me up... but no...
" i don;t remember, did somethign in my past create a hole"

anyways so now i;m just sitting at home, whining, as you can see, about my day.*shrug* i guess it could have been worse, but alot of simple things could have made it alot better.
" lying all alone and restless...." i used to do it before, but have rediscovered. do you ever type lyrics when you listen to music... it;s kinda like a typing challenge. i dunno, never mind.

now i have to clean my house... but i don;t think i have the will , or engery to do it now..
so i think i migh just go to bed,
hopefully tomorrow is better for lisa.
why not for me ?
"well i can't explain, i'll take the blame , i brought this all on myself."

eeeeee nervouse

and excited. sooo i start my first serving shift tonight in less than an hour. and like i just said i am nervouse and excited. sooo i have about 20 min to waste so i thought i would write something...

umm so yea

yesterday i got out of painting early cuz we (mostly me ) finished what there was to paint , so i went o look for a table..and i found one. yay so all i need is afew more chairs. anyways so you wil actually all know this because you are the ones that where there , pretty much, but i made an awesome roast beef dinner. with mashed potaotes and carrot and brocoli and salad and gravey and yorkture ,... which i kidna forgot to put oil in but they where eatable anyways. and everyone liked it yaya . then somepeople left and some people came... and then my down stairs neighbour came up..

she is was drunk or somethign .. and very scary. she flipped out at gregoire and lisa m and then stormed off. we where all afraid she would come back with a gun. eee. so i made everyone be extra quiet.*nods*
then this morning there was a note from her saying she as sorry and wouldn;t bother us anymore.... even thought i sounds kinda horrible to me i hope she doesn;t. expecially is she is under the influence.. because it is very akward and i dunno how exactly i would ask her to leave, without really upsetting her , becuase she is kinda on the edge already ... eee
10 min till i leave.
umm umm umm
yea i don;t really have anthign eles intersting today say , but i cannot wait for this week to be over so we can have some more dinners here and stuff and i really wanna go to hot yoga. i have been feeling all to flubby latley. DAMN YOU SUMMER HABITS.... but anyways yea realy wanna do it and feel fit again.... becuase kaitlyn can attest to it , i feel fat.


mayhaps i will go make sure i have stuff and stuff
eeeeee
bye

oranger juice and stuff

oh fuck. i could feel it in my ears and now that slight sensation in my throat tells me that misery is on it;s way.... i'm getting sick. i'm blameing you kaitlyn... a ha no just kidding. hopefully i can fight it off. go lisa go. why do you always get sick at the most inconvenient time? i have a hella week and a 1/2 comming up. painting at chemainus tomorrow and sunday. i forgot about those days and just remembered today.ug also today mike called me and asked me to do tech for the crimson coast dance festival. so thats 4 long days. so i;m signed up to be a res tech and a work op, which is awesome, but i am also trying to get trained for the golden inn.. blah blah blah no one really cares, to main point is if i don;t die , i'll have quite the chunk of change at the end of the month.

in other news the mixer was fun. got to know a few of the first years and they are pretty kewl. i look forward to more time with them.
i was thinking today, just how lucky i am to have all you guys as my friends. especially this summer i have felt like i belong and people want me around. that more than just one or two people really know me. i thought it was kinda funny cuz a most of us felt like we weren't really part of what ever group we were in , but i hope that we all feel part of us. if you get what i mean..
anyways i am off to see the love of my life.
farewell

when you hold me you make nothing else matter...

typed therapy

i am in kinda a miserable mood right now. i am very tired, exausted even. and well i am just plan grumpy. i just wanna put afew things out there.

i hate cleaning up after people. once and a while is fine, especially if it is give and take, but i don;t like feeling like a maid. right now i feel like a maid.
i hate the sounds some electronics make, it's high pitched and anoying. i can here it now.
i am hungry but too lazy to make food.
i always wonder why you kinda change your mind in the morining
i worry sometimes that people think i try too hard, but i don't really try to be anything other than i am.
i met an older version of myself, but i hope i age better
i love my new scarf it fucking rocks
i don't wanna take any job just because i don;t have one
i haven't give my dad anything for his 50th birthday yet, and i feel really bad about it, but i can't just buy him anything, it needs to be something specail. i love my dad, he;s so awesome.
i have some of the funnest dreams ever. but two nights ago i had a really scary one. my dreams are never really scary.

i am tried, kinda grumpy ,hungry,thinking about you, tomorrow will be another long day.