new years eve bitches

hahaha so we are all just hanging out at jens at the moment, the computer clock says 1142 oooo it;s sooo close its funny though beciase it doesn't feel like new years haha o well , today was a bit of a frightfulkl mess, like none of us knew what was gonn happen tonight but thankfully everything came together. first we all went to amys and then proceeded to jens . where a good deal of us are staying the night, i'm the DD haha , volunteered myself *wink wink *
hha tis quite a random thought but i'm looking over at jen's fireplace and the mantle is all decorated christmas like and her tree is right next to it... it looks very cozy .. but anyways
back to new years 1145 now... omg i need to finish this quick.... not so much likeing the bob marly that is playing... yuck ... amy and nolan are suposed to come back after they are done downtown ... to bad there wasn't a big ass party with a bunch of people that i dunno , i've jsutbeen thinkink ... and i haven;t met and new people recently and i find that a very exciteing think haha, my bro and soem people are going swimmiong tomorrow , perhapos i willo she is ashley or someone wanna come and we can find some hot boys or somethign hahah a....awww i wonder when the panto people are gonna stop by.. hmm i hope the do . i am wearing jen's sweater thingy... it kinda smells like grease .. she probably had it at work ,, but o well it keeps me warm ... shhh don't tell anyone but dylan is a stupid boy ... *loud*SHHHHh * obivouse wink* hahaha jkjk , he is a kewl little silly boy ... i so did not expect to write this much.. ohh it is 1150 now... festive festive festive hehehe, best be off, haha get the count down started
P.S OMG hahaha JENS DAD HAS FIRE WORKS.. ISNT THAT KICK ASS HAHAHA WOOOOT .... BYEEEEEEEEEEE

police cars need gas too

so been trying to get things figured out with jenn 2 about having a newyears shindig.. baught soem munchies today... that was my first trip to wally mart... like almost as soon as i get home. the petit dylhan comes on the computer and askes if i would like to go to the mall ... he wants to puchase soem new running shoes... fair enough i have nothign better to do .. so afew hours later and another trip to walmart.... dylan still doesn;t have any new shoes.. but we didn;t come away from the mall empty handed... no not at all .. dylan nowhas boxers that say " rub my nuts for good luck" and i found dick tacks... a festive button for ashley and a new red fuzzy colar for myselfmuhahah heheh yay. there goes 25 more $ hahah . anywho we also stoped at the food court where dylan had some crazy raspberry drink with a mood booster called " horny goat weed" .. it was intersting.. dylans , no pink ,, hair also got alot of compliments... dude that hair is pimpin( bootleger guy)... and .. ( some lady at a kiosk)oh how hansom you look with your hair that color... indeed. she wanted him i could tell ,. haha the guy at bootlegger was right,. he wasn't even out of the mall and the chicla stated hitten on him... obviousely iw as int he shadow of greatnesss... haha my day so far... sweet eh ... excelpt all together i a'm about 75$ poorer ... need to get me some of the horny goat week to boost my mood... or wait i'm sure work tonight will be super enough. hmuihahaha *twitch twictch*
anywho sooo tomorrow, hopefull yhtat is fun .. hopefully jenn ( 1 or 2 ) will be able to have people over.. i miss everyone. i need a mood booster:P hahaha. super .......... le fin

creative block

i have everything that need except the will and inspiration to do it. a blank sheet sits infront ot me waiting to be embraced by the colored touch of my brush ... yuck. holdays made me so lazy, having nothing planned makes me lazy . i have so much that i could do ... augh fuck me in the goat ass *grumble grumble*

solitar

never was good at that stupid game... but perhaps i will become a hermit... i dunnno, i s my company t soo distasteful? je ne sais pas, i know that people are busy and stuff but i find it that when soemthing is going on i am never contacted. i supose that you could look at it from the angle of i never call anyone up , but i do fine it distastefull to invite myself to events.. that and i hate the phone. *cough* so what is one to do ta da become a hermit, if i am going to feel left out i might as well do it to myself and keep what dignity i have , perhaps there is nothing to be excluded from

now at this point i understand nicoles point of view. ya see i never quite understood how she could both want and hate the idea of " couple" . I COMPRIHEND . it has been so long scine i have not had someone to love or concentrate my affections on that i lost sight of this... compleat lonliness, it's not just the feeling along for a little while but knowthing that there is none to wash away all your troubles even if it is just for a short time. now let me explain , love is a funny thing as we all know and so when i am saying that there is no one .. friends and family in this case do not apply . it;s just the type of love, getting back to my first point looking at a couple, i am so over runn with jealousely that i can;t stand it and then i go on wanting what set couple has to releive me of this hate/ jealously... i just if it can be explain any more than that. but i don;t hink anyone reads this anyways

du du du

there is just so much to say .. where to beguin. Lets start at christmas, its; a was cheery day much like anyother... my mother work me up though.... " we have to go open presants" she says . fine. hah downstarts we go. got some sweet stuff( haha not like the umbrella of last year .. oh dear) i got the fuzziest housecoat imaginable , the scarlet pimpernel dvd set , manson cd, and some anne rice books..OMG and my dad made me an easle yay haha i was soo excited to give my brother his gift though ahah it was a carebear hahahah long story .. anywho then we went to my grannies and my uncle gave me paint stuff and my granny gave me leg and arm warmers.. haha its; a weird thing. parents .. they kept onm bringing p being stick , like how sick we all were the past week ... way to cheer up the holiday .. after that we went to grammies' waited around a while(watched me movie: ) then everyone showed up hahah auntie libby gave all the cousins a back of harry potter jelly beans and we played the jelly buttion game,... ( you open the little hole and shake it till one comes out and you have to eat it.. this seems find but there are all these grose kinds like soap and dirt and vomit.. and they really taste like what they are ) then i had to go to my aunts for dinner. .. i'm the only one my age, it;s not that i don;t like being with my faimly .. it was just more sick talking and some political junk.. i wasn';t paying much attentuion cuz i was hungry hahah .... dinner was excellent except for no buns to make tiny turkey sandwixches and.... lumpy mashed potaotes.... o well hahah a. chocolate icecream for desert *wink wink* yea i dunno what the winker were about ... after dinner i went back to grammies to chillax with all my cousins haha made myself soem tiny turkey sandwiches ,. hehehe we watched return of the kind... i lots alomost right away at pass the ace... but that don;t matter i was super tired so i returned home earliey ish ... i had to get up realy the next day for shopping, and early i did get up.... make no sence i ... ummm i picked caitlin up at 7 .. isn;tr that ridiculouse. we made a qick stop at future shop to see if they has a cd i wanted, OMG it was so busy, line ups people everywhere... at 7 in the morning... saw shane and laura.. we contunued on .. michaels, tim hortons, sports check , mall (lasenza ,hmv, stiches, ) chapters mall suzy sheer (why can't i spell that?) all together i baught 3 pairs of undewear, canvas paint, a brush, 4 shirts, a pair of jeans, cd, caitlins present , and shoes ... good haul hahaha
after shopping , went home and cleaned up a bit, and went over to joshes... played soem pool , came home milled around the house.. sarah arrived around 9ish ,, she's very nice .. bubbly ( by the way she is my brother girlfirned that he met on the internet, she lives in nova scotica.. it's kinda weird but she is nice)
thats all the is realyl interesting latly haha only painting and watchign movie is the rest... and it seems as though i hace written a whole lot of noting so i say good day to you

World so Cold

When passion's lost and all the trust is gone,
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected,
Only in a world so cold, only in a world this cold
Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes,
Then watch them drift away
Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
For way too long, for way too long

Burning whispers, remind me of the days,
I was left alone, in a world this cold
Guilty of the same things, provoked by the cause,
I've left alone, in a world so cold
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away,
Why does everyone feel like my enemy,
Don't want any part of depression or darkness, I've had enough,
Sick and tired, bring the sun, or I'm gone, or I'm gone

I'm backing out, I'm no pawn,
No mother-fucking slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt

I need to find a darkened corner,
A lightless corner,
Where it's safer and calmer

world so cold-mudvayne

If it breaths ...

hehehe so today is a day ... one of many days .. hmm well actaully its thursday i do believe.. the past two days have been quite a blurr seeing as i have been sick and when you sleep till 2 go to bed at 7 and wake up countless time during the night you tend to loose track to space and time.. but i have made it here... feeling quite a bit better yet still a bit crummy.. good enough to go to work at least( seeing as i skipped it the opast two days ) work is going to be ridiculouse .. two more days tongiht and tomorrow left to shop for christmas... yikes ..anywho feeling well enough to put make up on.. which .. in turn makes me feel better.... funny thing that make-up does... make-up makes lisa look pretty.. pretty lisa feels pretty making lisa happy... now by this i am not saying that the way i looks is all that makes me feel good about myself but it thuroughly amuses me to get all dolled up hahaha anywho... just under 2 hours to waist till work .. dudud . what to do what to do . well i don;t particularially feel like doing anythingjust kinda sitting, even though i am bored of sitting funny how things work like that... tomorrow i will have to get out of the house and do soemthing exciting .. what i do not know,, i am bored of this.. THE END ...

Fuckidy fuck fuck

isn't it wonderful how randomly scatted my blogs are .. one hear.. one there... there just ins't enough time in my hecktic day to write on a silly web page.. though i do find it quite amusing... today .. started fine then got very worse.. then got a bit better... surprisingly at work... hahah it;s funny house taking people's money and puttingthings in bags can help to drown away your worries... though it more often than not creates stress and worries... especially with the fucking rude people... fuck to rude people they can kiss my ass. .. like serioously if yuou don;t like the line up dont; fuckin shop at walmart! time is money .. then you must spend time ..waiting in line... unless you are smart like me... muahah but shhh i won';t tell haha. it's ;like that wonderfull little quote dealy o...."the steps for succese... #1 don't tell eveything that you know... and #2 ......." hahah delightful..saw lots of peoplt oday at work .. mel and kenji. and nolan... grr nolan made me disgruntled today... like way to make me feel worse about myslef.. boy just don;t understand that girls have aliitle more emotion than them ... so here is how t went down . he asked how iow as... i said not good so he asked me to explain... so i did about how i am not likeing how i am a shamelss flirt... especially when i am drunk and how i fukced things over with a certain person . hahaha,. so he tells me to get over it and move on ... i agree... yet comment that things are harder to do when you feel alone... then the come bacl with the retort... lisa .. i haven;t had a girlfriend in year... get overit... and i am just stunded.. and in my mind i am thinking.. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.... it is not about having afuckn boyfriend. its about having soemone that i can depend on and go to for reaurance.. ahsn crap liek that ...like . friends kinda work ... but there is a different connection when you have soemone to really love... thats my problem .. i'm got to much god damn love and no one to give it to ... so here is me trying to love and its; leadind me into a pit of anguish ... what is one to do sit it out? thats seems like the onlything to do... but i supose i just don;t have any better ideas.... none that would work anyways
continuing... i am soo tired... last week with the play took alot out of me and now i am sick and stuff not so much fun but it turns out that i don;t have to work until friday ... thats a plus... perhaps i will get soem painting done anyways where was i .. oh yes tired lisa... i need soem time to myself... take a bath all that jazz... did i mention i am in dire need of an eye brow plucvking... well the thing is... i need to pluck my eye brows.. its like a fucks forrest... groose... i can hardly look at myself in the mirro.. and that is aost hard to belive aahaha cuz i like lookinga t myself... there is a bit of narsacisst in me ahah a. whats so bad about wanting to look good. :P anywho saw this nice vest thing today at work... think i might buy it ,. ahah oh dear i'm so shallow... so what if i like to buy material goods to make me happy... does the job at least for a while... oh got my english teacher would be apauled.... i so no sentances. or rather one very long sentanxce strung togehter with an astonishing amount of elipses... though i do have some nice vocabulary words...