life is a lemon and i want my money back

a day off for lisa. horay. it started out with a well deserved sleep in. friday and saturday where busy days. thought not as busy as i had previously thought they would be. i had more time in between my gigs and work. man work is ridiculously busy. friday was pretty sweet thought, i had some awesome visitors.. nathan, jill, lisa and steph.
yesterday after work i rushed home to go meet up with the gang at acme for spencers birthday. everyone was finished and then dispersed, so spencer lisa and i sent for a walk around town in the rain. sexiest trio ever. haha i took spencer home soon after.

anyways balh balhblah , today i went to visit my grammies and got some of her recipes. i tried making my favorite cookies, jumilie jumbles. but they just didn;t turn out right, they arn;t bad, but i can;t eat them cuz i know what they are suposed to taste like. o well next time . also today i baught myself a marinated steak. and it was deliciouse.
hehe somehow i got a song from mulan stuck in my head so i decided to watch it. later i think i will have a bath.
days off are good. hahah though writting this make me realize i don't have alot of interesting things to report. o well

*heart* lisa

for jill...

because she asked.
so today i woke up feeling particularally crappy. you know that feeling in the back of your throat that is all gross and you just know you are getting sick. thats how i woke up. no to mention it was fucken like 7:30 cuz i had to be at school at 8. lame. so anyways it was like i had a ridiculously long theatre history class and the whole time i felt icky. and now my body just hurts. i guess this week i have been going pretty hardcore. tomorrow and the next day are going to be intense. working on bit of nanaimo in the morning/ afternoon and at my restaurant at 6 and 5 till close it think. = lisa being exausted on sunday. i went like everywhere looking for something. yet came home disappointed. nothing is right. we will see where i end up with that. bah not much time to dally.
i wonder how work at the restuarnt will be in fri and sat. good i hope.

i think i am getting sick because my body, is like " wholly fuck lisa,, slow down" but what does it know.. cocky body... ahahah i like you guys, you bring good times my way. i wonder if jill still wants to hang out tonight, i guess i will just bundle myself up and vege until i hear back.
mmmm recouperation.

i don't think i will dress up for the song party. for some reason i just don't seem into it. i dunno, maybe i'll find something last minut.

umm i guess thats enough for now.. my brain doesn;t seem to be working too cohearantly

p.s. tonight is going to be so lonely, it seems like forever since i have slept by myself.

a broken plate and 80$

so shortly ago i just returned form my first real shift at the golden inn restaurant. i had a whole section to my self. which included a reservation for 16 eep. and i had to close, which kinda sucks but it;s kinda ok too .
so i get there and for the first hour and i am kinda in a rushy panic. and well yea... i had to much on my plate once and it toppled when i was putting the dirty dishes to be washed. broken plate.. augh.. felt so horrible. hahaha like fuck, i suck. but after about an hr i got into the swing of it. hopefully i will keep the swing of it for next friday when i work again. mmy feetses hurt and i am quite tired yet awake. but the hightlight of my evening was coming home with an extra 80$ in my wallet. the big table tipped me 70$, plus some other tables. so really i made more but i had to give 10% to the cooks.. what evo,,, yea.. haah i probably won;t make that much every night. but it excited me... so i am telling all of you.

eryn's b-day tomorrow..
eryns going to be old.. should we start calling you granny..?
no.. ok never mind. forget i said anything... dudu d
night loves

i'm surrouded by yarn

crazy knitting people are in the jill and steph house. eeeee
todays events and such, print making project done... work.. in 3 hrs( which i am still kinda nervouse about, i get my own section today and i have to close everything up eee.)go see spencer still waiting for a call. day off tomorrow. yay . this is my first day off in a long time. it will be nice very nice to sleep in and not worry about when i have to get up or what i have to . and i can relax and then go to eryns birhtday and have a sexy time. oh and kaitlyn and i are wanting to go to across the universe tomorow. people could come if they want. i'm not sure when we are going. dudud
um um um

i don;t got a lot. hmm

yess well...
that is all
love

metaphor for a misssing moment ..pull me in to your perfect circle...

for the most part today sucked balls. to put it plainly i am quite mentally exausted from the past five days. i did not want much today. anything, it could have been anything. i hate time. one way or another it always seems to be my enemy... being to much or too little, no time for me. it;s the story of my life no time for me. i always try to make time for other people. no matter if i have to stay up later .. or go out of my way specifically to see someone. i late being late. i hate being to early. i hate waiting. sigh i hate how selfish a being i am sometimes.
though i supose i deserve a little of what i want once and a while. but.... i hate that i get all sad and moody when it isn't available...

today started early with a bright blast of sun which i loathed with the core of my being... and then a ridiculousely long art class.
"i have become impossible
holding on to when , when everything seemed to mattermore
the two of us
all used and beaten up,
watching faith as it flows, down the path we have chose,
you and me , we're into this together now....
.. until the very end of me, until the very end of you"

"the farther i fall i'm beside you, as lost as i get i will find you , the deeper the wound i'm inside you forever and ever i am a part of you."

i love that song...
anway continuing. i burned my tounge on some stupid tea that i was all excited for but then i thought it smelled funny so i couldn't drink it .. lame
" twice as clear as heaven, twice as loud as reason, deep ans rich like silk on a river bed"
then i went to work at chemainus, which ithey could of actually done withought me. i just didn;t want to go. i couldn;t think, and all i wanted was to be wrapped up an comfy and happy. not the case. pretty much the whole way driving to chemainus i felt like crying. you know when everything in your life just seems to be out of wack or too much. and it seems that the only think that can make you feel better is just to cry out all the horrible feelings and thoughts in you. well thats kinda how i felt, only i couldnt cry becuase i have to be at work.
"why don;t you kill me , i am weak and numb and insignificant"
so they didn;t have alotfor me to do sooo, i did stupid stuff all day.. finally when i was able to leave, i got a call from kaitlyn saying that they where going to boston pizza, which i thought would be fun .. so when i got home i decided that i needed to get all pretty cuz i felt shitty and normally that helps. i told kaitlyn to get hotted up with me, because she wasn't going to see terry and i though would be fun. our boys didn't wanna hang out with us so nuts to them we are going to be pretty. unfortuantly ... at least for me going out didnt make my day any better .
dinner was ok, except i ordered chicken fingers which ya know .. i love.. and i got shitty ones that you like make yourself... like the ones you buy in a grocery store... what i afucking rip off.
" a startlight in the gloon , i only dream of you, and you never knew.
sing for absolution , i will be singing, falling from your grace, ooOOOooo"

soo yea boston pizza sucks big hairyballs. so after that kaitlyn and i went to walmart cuz we had to pick up afew things, and normally shopping , especially buyign things i don;t need, cheers me up... but no...
" i don;t remember, did somethign in my past create a hole"

anyways so now i;m just sitting at home, whining, as you can see, about my day.*shrug* i guess it could have been worse, but alot of simple things could have made it alot better.
" lying all alone and restless...." i used to do it before, but have rediscovered. do you ever type lyrics when you listen to music... it;s kinda like a typing challenge. i dunno, never mind.

now i have to clean my house... but i don;t think i have the will , or engery to do it now..
so i think i migh just go to bed,
hopefully tomorrow is better for lisa.
why not for me ?
"well i can't explain, i'll take the blame , i brought this all on myself."

eeeeee nervouse

and excited. sooo i start my first serving shift tonight in less than an hour. and like i just said i am nervouse and excited. sooo i have about 20 min to waste so i thought i would write something...

umm so yea

yesterday i got out of painting early cuz we (mostly me ) finished what there was to paint , so i went o look for a table..and i found one. yay so all i need is afew more chairs. anyways so you wil actually all know this because you are the ones that where there , pretty much, but i made an awesome roast beef dinner. with mashed potaotes and carrot and brocoli and salad and gravey and yorkture ,... which i kidna forgot to put oil in but they where eatable anyways. and everyone liked it yaya . then somepeople left and some people came... and then my down stairs neighbour came up..

she is was drunk or somethign .. and very scary. she flipped out at gregoire and lisa m and then stormed off. we where all afraid she would come back with a gun. eee. so i made everyone be extra quiet.*nods*
then this morning there was a note from her saying she as sorry and wouldn;t bother us anymore.... even thought i sounds kinda horrible to me i hope she doesn;t. expecially is she is under the influence.. because it is very akward and i dunno how exactly i would ask her to leave, without really upsetting her , becuase she is kinda on the edge already ... eee
10 min till i leave.
umm umm umm
yea i don;t really have anthign eles intersting today say , but i cannot wait for this week to be over so we can have some more dinners here and stuff and i really wanna go to hot yoga. i have been feeling all to flubby latley. DAMN YOU SUMMER HABITS.... but anyways yea realy wanna do it and feel fit again.... becuase kaitlyn can attest to it , i feel fat.


mayhaps i will go make sure i have stuff and stuff
eeeeee
bye

oranger juice and stuff

oh fuck. i could feel it in my ears and now that slight sensation in my throat tells me that misery is on it;s way.... i'm getting sick. i'm blameing you kaitlyn... a ha no just kidding. hopefully i can fight it off. go lisa go. why do you always get sick at the most inconvenient time? i have a hella week and a 1/2 comming up. painting at chemainus tomorrow and sunday. i forgot about those days and just remembered today.ug also today mike called me and asked me to do tech for the crimson coast dance festival. so thats 4 long days. so i;m signed up to be a res tech and a work op, which is awesome, but i am also trying to get trained for the golden inn.. blah blah blah no one really cares, to main point is if i don;t die , i'll have quite the chunk of change at the end of the month.

in other news the mixer was fun. got to know a few of the first years and they are pretty kewl. i look forward to more time with them.
i was thinking today, just how lucky i am to have all you guys as my friends. especially this summer i have felt like i belong and people want me around. that more than just one or two people really know me. i thought it was kinda funny cuz a most of us felt like we weren't really part of what ever group we were in , but i hope that we all feel part of us. if you get what i mean..
anyways i am off to see the love of my life.
farewell

when you hold me you make nothing else matter...

typed therapy

i am in kinda a miserable mood right now. i am very tired, exausted even. and well i am just plan grumpy. i just wanna put afew things out there.

i hate cleaning up after people. once and a while is fine, especially if it is give and take, but i don;t like feeling like a maid. right now i feel like a maid.
i hate the sounds some electronics make, it's high pitched and anoying. i can here it now.
i am hungry but too lazy to make food.
i always wonder why you kinda change your mind in the morining
i worry sometimes that people think i try too hard, but i don't really try to be anything other than i am.
i met an older version of myself, but i hope i age better
i love my new scarf it fucking rocks
i don't wanna take any job just because i don;t have one
i haven't give my dad anything for his 50th birthday yet, and i feel really bad about it, but i can't just buy him anything, it needs to be something specail. i love my dad, he;s so awesome.
i have some of the funnest dreams ever. but two nights ago i had a really scary one. my dreams are never really scary.

i am tried, kinda grumpy ,hungry,thinking about you, tomorrow will be another long day.

no job and no friends makes lisa a dull girl

today was boring and sucky. spencer left early in the morning and i did not get to say good buy properly which made me sad. then i came home and waited around for my mother to pick me up to go to my knee appointment. talking to the doctor and if my knee is "acting up" ,aka bone chip popping out, on a thursday i'm suposed to call the doctors and see if i can get surgry on that day, when the doctor is on call, other wise if i book and appointment and go in for surgery they might not be able to find the little chippy again.. which would just be a big waste of time for everyone. my knee sucks.

after that i came home did some stuff , baked a sponge cake which is delicious... watched a movie... augh.. and now it is 10:17 and i am not tired yet.. i really need to find a job so that i can appreciate the time i have off. augh places where suposed to phone me today yet didn;t.. perhaps i will have some luck tomorow, maybe i will go there, or just apply at some more places. i really don;t wanna have to work in retail.
i can just imagine it if i did, one of my old managers or coworkers would come to where i work and see me working at some stupid job and .. yea it would suck.*sigh*

i think tomorrow i will make a pie....
is this why my grammy bakes so much, because she is bored? at least she is very good at it by now.hopefully when i am her age i will be as good.

i want to go out but do not know where i would go , nor do i dare take a walk at this hour.

o well

i hate my fucking knee

it fucking hurts. grrr grrr grr

now that i am done complaining *for now* hahaha

last night was pretty alright. i was so unbelievably baked it's not even funny. thanks to dumbledoor baggins, and purple rain who once again kicked my ass. hmmm yes .. i kinda started at the end...let me go to the beguining

my day started my the side of my lover... and seeing as he was still sleeping i decided to venture home and have a little lisa time in my awesome smelling clean house. i watched some futuramma until kaitlyn and steph showed up with all stephs stuff which i helped to move. hung out .. was fed some steak , yummy thanks.then i made some cookies! yay then josh and caitlin came over and we watched the good the bad and the ugly. i was the ugly hehe. it was pretty alright except all of the shots where really long so the movies seemed rediculously long. but clint eastwoods intensness made up for it.

then i got ready to do.. and spencer called yay and he got off work early and came and got me and we went to marthas and had a pretty good time. when i got home i had peanut buttre toast and it was amazing... just so you guys know

.... wow i write about lame stuff.. the thing is most of you guys who read this already know what i do day to day because you are there. perhaps later i will write about somethign profound.

anyways.. love lisa
p.s. yay for tonight

one set closer

yay me. ok so for some reason i woke up at like 545. and was like what is that light.. so i get up and check it out and it was totally the sun. anyways short stort even shorter i got up. and finally finished reading thought the dealy and taking my test for serving it right. yay i passed go me. then i needed a printer to print my certificate out.. i have one but it was in a box. like all brand new and stuff. so i took it out... but i had to find a place for it soo i cleaned up all the computer and tv cords.. yay it looks so pretty now.. but i was still missing a cable so i will have to go to my rents anyways later to print it off. hmm u guess i should try and find a table before i go back to the north end so i can take my dads truck back.. but then i have to take everything out of it ... screw this idea... i'm going back to bed...
*marches down hall*

i'm just kidding... i'm probably get to it later...

so i guess today that i will go and apply for afew jobs. i soo cannot keep up with this doing nothing. it makes me sooo lazy. mm my house smells like hippy.. mmm hippy.
i love my house. have i ever mentioned that. for like ever i have wanted my own place that i could decorate and walk around naked in... and stuff. ya know. it's so nice not to havew to worry about being home at certain times or get bitched at by my other for having clothes on the floor. or leaving things places. i clean up in my own time. generally it;s pretty clean here.

lovelovelove.
hmmm so i am kinda nervouse about applying at a restaurant. i've never actually done any serving and if i get hired i keep thinking that they won;t give me any training and ill be like thrown into it and fail miserably.... yup. sounds fun eh ..
this being so i am tempted to apply at the liquor stores i ssaw needed people. cuz i could so do that super easy. but no lisa.. dont; cop out. go for the tips.... the riches....!

i dunno. i will apply. i can;t not. i'm just abig chicken.

fare well
~lisa~
p.s. I SOOO NEED TO GO AND SEE ERYN TODAY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

She's baAAAack

hihi hi. you guys can all stop missing me now*wink wink* my trip was definatly a lifetime experice. but i have to say that i amm sooooo soo glad to be home. althought it is unfortunatle at the moment becuase i am all jet lagged timey screwed up. it;s 4 am and i am not tired... though tkind hungry. anyways for those of you who don;t know i visitied. denmark(copenhagen) , norway(oslo), estonia(tallin), russia(st petersbourge) polland(gadansk) finland( helsinki) and sweden (stolkholm). it was quite the adventure. here are some of my highlights

copenhagen - absolut ice bar(everythign was made of ice) and the erotic museum , need i say more haha you all would have loved it. it had everythign from love myths, to gay porn to marylin monrow to a giant golden penis... which i took my picutre next to .. you will see it it;s awesome. also in copenhagen i liked that everyone rode their bikes and there was this one huge park that everyone went to after work and just pickedniced in .

oslo- there was this park with a bunch of bronze statues about the circle of life. some of those where pretty kewl

estonia - we walked around this old town and there where just wonderful streets and you could just kinda feel how old the city was in some parts.. i dunno how to describe it. um and i baught a little painting, a poncho and some absenth. it;s not the reall stuff.. but who fuckign cares it's sweet anyways

russia,- saw some amazing art work. tried caviar... however that wasn;t so much of a high light than somethign that i just havet o mention.. you will see the pic... hahaha. umm i went to the room where rasputin was assasinated.. it was pretty kewl. umm h-core palaces.. lots of vodka

polland- was kinda boring
so was helsinki
sweden was beautiful , my dad and i baught some swedish chocolate and it was awesome

nanaimo - comming home to spencer..
sorry that was cheesy

now i expect to see lots of you as i have braught back treasures. so now i guess i wil go and find a job or somethign before school starts.. omg it;s so close.eeeee
love lisa

August 1st.. already

where the fuck did the sumer go? in 5 days i will; be leaving for my trip. you know i used to love going away. traveling on air planes staying hotels. everything was so novel. i've realized i really don't like going away. i don't like missing my home , my friends , or the people i love.
every year imy moms side of the family has a reunion on the august long weekend. i used to love to go. to see my cousins, to enjoy the theme, to do the horse races. but now i just never want to go to it, and i mean i feel bad about not going to see my family... but i never remember who anyone is, or their names. they all pretty much live in victoria so they see each other all the time.
in2003, i went away and satyed the whole weekend, and all i wanted to do was come back. i was missing mine and jame's 1 year aniversary. my first real boy friend and i miss our anniversary.

i guess what i really mean by this is , right now the people that are most important in my life have changed. and while i love my family, i don't want to leave without those people.

in other news i still have a cat. the owners have not returned from where ever they are and i am worried about the other cat still in the appartment below us. i've given it a bit of food, which it seems to have eaten. but i wonder how long i should wait before we take measures to remove the cat. like i feel wrong about going into someone's place when they are not home, however what the fuck are they doing leaving two cats for so long with no one to take care of them. no one is. it 's heart breaking to hear the other cat meow, and feel so helpless.
aggggg.

if your not going to take care of your pets don;t fucking get them in the first place.

in 5 days i will miss you all
~lisa~

In todays news..

I made cinnamon buns. they are deliciouse.

currently i am sitting at home. I've been at home pretty much all day just relaxing, and of course baking. I also make kaitlyn a birthday cake. cuz thats how awesome i am. I have discovered that the best grilled cheese sandwiches are made with marble cheese. trust me. try it.

Yesterday was jills birthday. yay jill. 20. since it was not so nice for going to the river, her and i celebrated with some substances, she's the man, cupcakes, and strawberries in chocolate. this was followed by a trip to walmart to look at house goods. and then to the grocery store to purchase a roasted chicken. after which we headed to kylans, and jill with her cavewoman/ hunter gather skills made a fire. i made a bed and napped. life is hard sometimes

eventually everyone showed up and chilled. man was i full at the end of yesterday ... hahahah that sounds so dirty... full of food kids.. food. hahahah

today today today , as you already know i have been baking... OH i should makes jello shooters.... and so i shall. hehehe i am so fucking brilliant.
i gotta go ...geniouse has struck,,,, farewell,

What iz up ... bitches

so i am home now. i had a good time but am glad to be back.. and much richer than i left. yay
hmmm there wasn;t alot that happened some drinking, going out for pacho's( potato nacho's sooooo good ) the weather was well. mmm yea illiteration. went out in the dinngy.hehe. yea and painted a set. i hope everyone likes it.. cuz this is kinda, pretty much the biggest show i have working on .... mmm yea probably. he he.


but in any case i am back and now you can all stop missing me. i have 11 days before i go on my trip. and there is lots going on in between. two very special girls birthdays. eh.. eh .. yes i think so ..
today i am soo going shopping. hopefully i will find something decent. all the clothes seem very ugly right now. but as a treat to myself, i'm gonna try and spend a little more on things like pants and shoes... because i need them desperatly. a pair of both where compleatly destroyed by paint.*shrug* yay new.

i hope to spend many days in the sun with the people i enjoy.
any idea's for adventures kids? i'm up for sum

another good day...

yesterday in the late evening my day did improve, after much "medicine" my head ache did go away and i was able to have some fun. i am glad that people seemed to have a good time last night, eryn in particular. today is not looking well for me. staying in bed all day seems a good idea.
see you when i get back

sometimes i don;t know why i bother

The following is a blog of no real importance, i'm in a rotten mood and can thus see not in a positive light...

what the fuck, it seems there must be something wrong with me. either that or it;s the entire world. i think that i give to much, i must because i always feel like i am just waiting for something in return. to fill the empty hands, empty heart, that i am left with .perhaps people are not as generouse as i, but in any case a thank you would be sufficient.
i'm not greedy, i don;t grasp for everyones attention, i realiziwhen it;s my fault. i don;t like to make people feel bad. i'm aware of the environment. i recycle what i can ..try not to waist. So what, i like to shop, find sales good deals, own nice things.

am i not kind, considerate, loving.
...........................................
a short while ago spencer braught my a dozen roses for no reason. it made me feel special
last night eryn did the dishes that i had been dreading doing. thank you soo much , you don;t know how relieved that made me.
.......................................
perhaps i am merley blind, or selfish in a way i do not realize. i suppose deep down it is I who has caused my own distress and misery. i hope that my day improves, cuz right now it;s kinda shitty.

And Now... and update

so here i am . dudud duh. anyways i get my own internet tomorrow. presently i am at spencers. he is still sleeping. i can't get how he sleeps so much. i supose that he does stay up late. it;s funny i have found that in the past year i don't sleep as much as i used to .. like even if i wanted to sleep in , it;s only till like 9:30. anyways today should be an awesome day.

for those currently out of the loop. i am done done with petsmart now. my last day was on sunday. patrick the store manager was sad to see me go. although not entirerly becuase shortly he would also be leaving the store. he said that i should come and work for him in his new store on the main land. haha. other people seemed sad to see me go as well. giving hugs and " it was nice working with you" which i found odd. anyways YAY freedome.*dances*.
so after sunday i drove down to chemainus becuase i was suposed to be helping out with some photo shoot. the peopel got stuck in trafic or soemthign so where 1/2 hr late. lame. then it took hardly any time to get the set up. i was suposed to help them out sunday night, monday for like 12 hrs and tuesday(today) for another 8hrs. however they did not need me. so yesterday i ended up doing light walking for the kids show. then i visited with meghan which was lovley.yay meghan .then when home. the awesome part of all this is i still get payed for all the hrs that iwas shedualed to work . WOOT

so i have a day off with pay today and i am going to use it to my advantage. a nice visit from the pot fairy and a trip to see mr potter. then who knows... probably a nap for me hahaha

on saturday i am leaving for kelowena to paint my set. which shouldn;t take that long. afew days perhaps. and then i shall be back for some more time off.

anyways i;ll probably be posting again soon. sincew by this time tomorrow i will have my own internet

posty posty

i supose i shall post, just to give you all an update. presently i am at my parents house doing laundry. kaitlyn and i do not have internet yet, but are hopping to get it soon. the problem is that we do not have a phone line or cable. sooooooooo i pose a question to all those who have been movied out and got interenet. did you just break down and get cable along with your interenet or was there a way to just get it ?

anyways so the house is good. many of you have come to see if and hang out and even claimed part of it as your own. i of course am speaking of eryn who has a cubby in the closet and conditions on the fridge in exchange for some cleaning services. i think it is a good agreement hehe
so pretty much i love kaitlyns and mines appartment. the only down side that i can see is that with it being summer it and there being lots of windows it get quite warm in the apparment. this is fine during the day because we can open all the windowns and the down balcony doors and let the air fow through ,. but at night the misquitos; come out and there are no screens :P
i can survive the heat becuase of my reptile like body adjustments to temperature, however any nomal person finds it unbrearable... or so i;m told

in other news this past friday i gave my two weeks notice to petsmart. i'm tired of them treating me like crap and doing all their work. that being said there is no point of me finding another job until after i come back from my trip. so at the end of august. so actually i'm not taking that much time off work. since i am doing afew days up at chemainus and then going to kelowna for a week. i am wanting to look for a waitress or hostess job where i can get tips. that failing i may look into the delivery of food since that also gets tips. what i don;t want is just another 8 $ an hour job. i want some perks for my hard work damn it

soo hmmm i think thats all i got. i'll post again when i have the chance.... or the interenet... dun dun

love