and i think i'm going deaf.don;t you hate that. when there are just so many things going on inside your head that listening to quiet music seems too loud.
uuuuggggg*clutches tummy* i just can chow down 2 papa burgers like i used to. i want my kitchen back , then i can eat real food again. soon Soon!
things have been really up and down for me the past little while. it;s like at one moment everything is perfect,but the next moment none of it exists. it isn't allowed to. and as much as i try to stay positive that things will be better again. it is hard for me to make that transition sometimes. i've been finding school particularially draining this year, or this semester rather. like mondays and wednesday with the overlapping classes, or the rushing to meetings after other classes. it's like everything is going so fast and i am stumbling to keep up. running for my next minut of peace my next moment of " happyness" hahaha i am so dumb... w/e never mind
*sigh/ deep breath* btw this isn;t anything but me letting things go. i'm not that great at etting things out there, i'm getting better but still , i'm pretty bad at it. andwell writting things helps me get them out.
you know what bugs me.. when you have something that you want to say, and youthin kabout it.. and find exactly what you wanna say, but when the moment comes, the words just don;t seem right or you forget. that happens to me all the time drives me nuts, thats kidna why it's better to write things. though when i actually have somethign important to say i never do because that would be kinda cheesy/ silly. *shrug*
my world on blood
you are my blood.this high that you feed. this high that i feel. it eats the pain of life . the troubles of reality. i am free and my wildest dreams become reality. but then i can see it comming. the crash. the world stops
colours are not as bright. the world has become dull as if covered in a haze of dust. this dust covered reality i see. i dream of those colours, until can drink of that blood again...
and be free.
i enjoy how writting something can make you feel better, even if only for a little while.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
on my drive home i listened to my thoughts,
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2 comments:
i hope things start to even out for you....i have noticed your ups and downs...they make me sad cause i wanna see you happy....ok that just sound really cheesy....
i had fun making masks with you today
wouldn't it be the opposite of going deaf if quiet music was too loud?
sometimes quiet music is too loud for me too and i need complete quiet so i can focus on the zillion different thoughts going through my head.
stick through it, lisa. life is a race, and sometimes you have to run faster to keep up with it. just remember to have a few moments to breathe everyday, even if it's right before bed!
either way, i love you, lisa. always will.
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