the monster

there is a monster. it is green. it is ugly. it has stone skin that is cold as ice. the monster thinks only of the monster. it is fed with sadness. it grows stronger with fear. it is weakened by happiness. however it cannot be killed. the monster has a mind of it's own. it will not listen to reason. it crushes hope for fun. it will eat your soul for breakfast.
there is a monster. it lives inside me.

tortured artist

Oh my soul is dieing
my dog has run away
now my lovers left me
i just can't face the day

my paintings are not beautiful
my tallents gone array
i need a bowl of ice cream
to help me face the day

i need to dye my hair again
the black has gone away
can't stand it when my roots show through
how will i face the day

no one listends to my whining
i'm sooo misunderstood
people should appriciate me
i won't face the world today

blacks my favorite color
my life is not okay
i'm such a tortued artist
why bother face the day

random thought

Who is that stranger looking out at me
seeing beyond the borders of simple sanity
does she see what i see?
why can't i recognnize this person? me

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i just thought i would get some writtng out. some of those are old, some are new. i dunno about you but i think that i can have some pretty poetic thoughts... well you might not be able to tell from these but the other things that i write sometimes. they are pretty deep. slightly tortured.. even .. prehaps... i guess i can be a true artist ... since i'm all tortued and stuff. anyways. it;s always night to have people read waht you write sometimes. like i'm sure there are quite afew of us who have a book. not really a journal or diary but more of a place of refuge. where when they get to be to much all your thoughts go to live in writting. do you ever look back through your book? i do. you can see how you where feeling. what changed. what was important to you when. it's crazy to think about it, well for me. looking back 4 years in time( thats how long i've had the same book, it;s almost full now) and knowing exactly how i felt. imagine that in 10 years or 20. it kinda blows my mind a bit. just a little thought i don't have a lot to spare.

i am working towards something. i don't know how i will do it. i want to control it. i want to defeat the monster. however i don't any weapons. WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT A GREATSWORD... jkjk.. i don't mean anything, or expect that you come to a final conclusion. i will try with all my will power. it's not that great though, like plus 2 or somthing. but that doesn't mean i'm not trying. there are times when i wish things could just be easy, but i guess that if they where they wouldn't be worth fighting for... right.

i would like to wish all that read this a delightful weekend. i hope you have good sexy times.

loVE

p.s. je t'aime petit gâteau