no peace i find. just an old sweet song... keeps georgia on my mind

i dunno if it sounds as strange as it feels.. but i find i feel odd when i don;t have anything that i have to do,, well no pressing matter anyways.. there is always something i should be doing. hmm hmmh hmm dudud . i am getting better. i had a good nights sleep last night and am looking forward to tonight. especially since i don't have to wake up ridiculously early. yay. been working at my over all goal of self improvement. hopefully i can keep it up. it normally starts off good then i lose motivation. however i am constantly reminded of why i want to improve so i think it will keep me going. go lisa go lisa.
over all i don't have a plan. i've given up trying to make things how i think they should be or i would really like them to be. things that won;t be , cant be forced, it's really just a waste of energy. i'm takin it as it comes to me. which may not be the best way to go , but at least i am going somewhere. i'm not a genius. but i know things. i hate it when it is assumed , or i am treated like i don't. no sense getting mad. i find it kinda funny , kinda sad, kinda not surprising... hmmm but suppose i cant judge. i guess it was me again, well no... it isn't if anything i would have just made things easier... it there was any effort. haha . word are so funny sometimes, once in a while they can have great meaning, but most of the time they mean nothing at all... hahah oh words , how you mock us in our daily lives. .. fuck you empty words...
sometimes i wish i didn't need to be loved. i wish i could stop thinking about it so i didn;t have to write it so much. writing helps me think though... and that just happens to be what i think about. anyways i've had enough of this garbage. i complain to much about things that can't really be helped.. or changed really... it's stupid. end of story.