i knew this was a dream, it was too go to be true.

blah garble godod sigh.... oh colin firth, you bring me joy. heh. watching pride and prejudice. huddled away in my messy apartment. i may need a break from gatherings here for a while. we leave quite a mess. and i do tire of cleaning. also after my great night last night i think that i should take a break from some other activities. at least for a while to clear my head. i am hungry but to lazy to go and eat. and make stuff. ugg jghsk guuh blarjjskjgshfkjg hmmm
i am many things today. i want company, yet to be alone. i want to be loved and taken care of , yet cannot accept it. i want to sleep time away, but my back hurts to lie down. heh it could use a good gentle hand. i am worried. i am confused. i am angry, i am happy. i am lazy...unsure. you are destrying ,me as you bring me to life. i like the new shirts that i baught. my head hurts. this is a rather depressing post for the new year. what ever. fuck it. :P hehehe .

what is so special about a new year anyways. different numbers to write. that is all. what to make for food what to make. tasia and i watched memoirs of a geisha. it;s such a nice movie. to stop a man in his tracks with one look. ha what a game.,, isn;t that what we are playing. pitted against one another. making our moves. keeping it in , letting it out. forget it all. *sigh*
i am screaming with silence. i am a silly girl. making a fuss for nothing. my life is not hard, i am talented. i am screaming with silence. ........... you hear the words i don;t speak. do you know what they mean. *sigh*
i am... nothing different than i always am
take no note, it means nothing