thoughts galore, think and think and think some more...

Why is it that whenever you have the opportunity to sleep in you wake up early. This almost always happens to me. Today for example... i have nothing that i HAVE to do. No pressing matters, assignments, work. Thats all done. today i can do whatever i feel. i wanted to sleep in.... Lame. hahahaha i guess it's still pretty sweet to have a full day off. i will accomplish many small tasks i think.
sometimes i hate the way i am. i always feel differently about things at different times. for example substance. when i first wake up in the morning i almost always have thoughts of guilt. "oh i've eaten to much , drank to much ,, whatever to much. i sometimes make a decision to mend my ways. but as one or a few hours pass my entire perception changes and i'm right back on the edge with all my little friends. My vices.
Last night was a great time. Let me start by taking you back to my Wednesday. I started working at the theatre at 12. Worked cleaning up for 2.5 hours then I treated Amanda to a Beer and some food at the pub. I text dustin at the pub saying we should get some beer tonight. However leaving for home on the bus, a beer and chicken strips in my belly, i start to feel a bit sleepy. Get home, have a bath. I wonder what i will do tonight. i still feel tired and unmotivated.
I go an visit with dustin. we chat about many things and agree that we should go to the liquor store. i purchase a 6 pack and dustin gets beer and wine. We return home and find that kyle had returned as well. The house is lit with chistmas lights and none others. We invite kyle for beer and then spent the next hours sitting around the kitchen table, in the soft warm glow of chistmas lights and talk about everythign and anything under the sun. Not getting wasted, but merrily enjoying each others company and conversation. there where many cheers to the moments present and passed. It was a night worth living for. thanks boys.
why is it that i never know what i am doing. i feel like spend a lot of my life just floating through motions. feeling things as i pass but never being able to touch anything solid because its all floating by to fast. It's like i'm walking down the centre of a fuzzy pinky purple tube. and in the pink purple fuzziness of the wall of this tube of my life are moving pictures of the people i know... of all the different facets of my life. school, work , family, home, friends, love, all these things i can somehow step into the picture and exist in that place for a while. but eventually i get sucked back into that tube. part of me forgets the time i have spent there, part of me remembers and yet at the same time i am distracted once again by the pink and purple fuzzy wall passing me and all it's little moving pictures.
I like wearing pink eye shadow. I think it's my color of choice. not saying that i always wear it. but i feel the happiest when i put it on. like i'm super excited. i'm kinda envious of all you that are able to pull off crazy colors like ,crazy green or orange, or dark blue or purple. i have pink though. i like pink.
hmmm i think those are all the thoughts for now.... but i have the whole day to be free and think... and it isn't even 11 yet.