but i don't know how, to get it back to good

It's nothing, it's so normal you
Just stand there I could say so much
But I don't go there cuz I don't want to
I was thinking if you were lonely
Maybe we could leave here and no one would know
At least not to the point that we would think so

Everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking about
Somebody else
It's best if we all keep it under our heads
I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do
But I'm lonely now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good

This don't mean that, you own me
This ain't no good, in fact it's phony as hell
But things worked out just like you wanted too
If you see me out you don't know me
Try to turn your head, try to give me some room
To figure out just what I'm going to do

And everyone here, hates everyone here for doing just like
They do
It's best if we all keep this quiet instead
And I couldn't tell, why everyone here was doing me like
They do
But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good

Everyone here, is wondering what it's like to be with
Somebody else
Everyone here's to blame, everyone here
Gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain, everyone hides
Shades of shame, but looking inside we're the same, we're
The same
And we're all grown now, but we don't know how
To get it back to good

Everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking 'bout
Somebody else
It's best if we all keep this under our heads
I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do
But it's over now, and I don't know how, it's over now
There's no getting back to good

have you ever find that there are sound tracks for different parts of your life. different albu,s that depict how you feel, and whats going on. then that music forever reminds you of that time in your life, sometimes to the point where you can't listen to it ?? it happens to me all the time. some things that i remember
cold chamer, spine shank, aslip knot,= grade 9
finger eleven = summer of 2004 driving around in james' van late at night
marlyn manson , tool , NIN = first half of grade 12
APC, porcupine tree = second half of gr 12 , with spencer
panic at the disco= my caribean cruise
three days grace, one X - the hell of last december
matchbox twenty - now
it;s funny that my last two novembers an decembers have been bad. this one is more sad than angry. it;s the end of three years, which is very sad. and like that song says. i don;t know what to do with myself. i want to be happy. but i am too scared to take chances. not that i can see that possibly working out for me anyways, not any time soon.
i want this school year too be over. i want summer to come and go and i want to be gone from here. i want someone to find me and realize how amazing i am , and love me for it. because thats what i deserve. i deserve more than i have been given in the past. i want to believe i won;t settle for less, again. but right now i feel that anything is almost better than nothing.
I don;t like working many days in a row at night. it makes me feel like i have no life, or have not accompished anything. which is silly because i have done thing. last night i went to the golden compas with jill gregoire tasia and nathan .. and it was fucking sweet. and before that people came and watched movies with me... but even with all that, i still feel like i haven;t accompished anythign .. it;s this stupid work like this... it makes me depressed.
two more days and it will be over...

but for now balh.
~lisa~
p.s. i suggest you listen to this song as you read it. it makes it better. matchboxtwenty. back to good.