even when things are going well it's funny how you can still feel crappy. no-one has really done anythign or said anytihgn to me. but maybe thats kinda the problem. all my life i have felt that people where doing things behind my back. not like mean things but makeing plans and having fun that i never don;t seem to get told about. perhaps i am to distracted to notice. for a while i thought i was done with all that. but . i dunno. last night we had and awesome good time. me eryn and kaitlyn, we talked about some good stuff. one topic of which... was it ourselves that was the outcast or was the rest of the world screwy. is it me thats ... or is everony eles...
i guess i should just stop wanting to be involved in everything. i mean i hear all these stories of grand adventures and stuff, and i always wish that i could be apart of it. i should just stop wanting it , because it sucks realizing that you arn;t wanted or even thought of.not worth the mention i guess. i should also stop worrying about other people and just let them live their lives. but i just don;t want them to make the same misteaks i did , have the same horrible things happen. but it;s do hard hearing that somethinng you expierienced more than one, might have happened to another person. i makes me wonder if there was anything i could have done to prevented it.. what could i do, that i could have said. if anyone would have believed me. i mean there are some things that i see, there are some things that other people dont know. that they should know. but do i have the right to tell them. i mean i supose i have the right to talk about my own experiences but if that talking corrupts someone eles perception of something. is it right? i'm really just scared for the people i care about. but i really can;t do anythign anyways so why bother worrying about it. i just hope that they know what hey are getting into and hope things turn out better.
i wish i could shut my mind off. then maybe i could get some work done. i cannot wait for this school year to end. i will miss most of the people, but i will be glad to get something new going and leave a whole mess. anyways
i don;t exaclty know what that was but i have to get my art project sone, at least alittle before people start showing up.
p.s. one day i will have enough time to create some grand advenrures
here are my thoughts and ramblings, be careful not to drown
9 comments:
M'dear, you and I and a bunch of girlies will have a sexy adventure soon!! I promise :)
-Jilly, at the library and too lazy to sign in.
i think its more of your right as a friend to try and help out the ones you care about. even if they dont listen at first they may realize that you were right. and as for not being included...i think your one that would always be included....
I know exactly what you mean Lisa
except I stopped caring that I'm not included in Adventures
a lot of adventures i hear about... are with high people... and I don't get high. so it doesnt phase me as much
I know exactly what you're talking about, Lisa. I feel the same way sometimes when I hear people talking about good times they've had... the immediate reaction is "why wasn't I invited?!" But then I think of all the stuff I do get to do and the people I hang out with, and it's not that they don't want to hang out, it's just that they don't think of it or whatever.
But, there will be plenty of time for grand adventures in the summer!!!!
it;s probably about 1/2 and 1/2 becuase i defiantly know there is alot that i miss out on, perhaps i just think the other adventures seem grander, and that nothing that i do is particularially interesting.
eryn i suspect we shall have great adventures in the summer. we must
Piff its because you don't see me enough... And I'm obviously like
A grand adventure.
**loves on!** Anything I plan and have control over, you're totally invited! I just forget to mention things as I am slow.
Lisa, lets have a grand adventure.
You n Me need to chill soon
Adventure is what tends to happen to us when we're looking the other way.
Yeah, if I was doing something that was going to put me right into trouble's way, I would definitely want to know. I think most people, even if it's hard to stomach, would want to know ahead of time if they are getting into something that's bad for them. Then if they do get into trouble, you can rest easy knowing, you did what you could.
Unless you're talking about me missing so much school, in which case, *raspberry!* :D jk, we should have a girly night, a bunch of us... I would enjoy cocktails and footbaths and face masks. Anyone else?
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