posty posty

tis friday morn.. and it's been a week of a week...( know that doesn;t make sence) got two projects done.. have 2 miore to do. lets see what hs been neat the pastlittle while. in acting this week leon came in and thaugh us stage combat, he is sooo funny. haha wed we used "swords" which was neat but i thought less entertaining. in stage craft we have been learning about light, i find it very intersting... hehe and yesterday we got to hand lights... it was neat... thats what i have wanted to learn about.. yay.. i can be a well rounded techie. umm OMG i baught fluffy chicken slippers!!! they are sooo kewl and i love them... love love love. don't know what i shall be up to for most of the day ..but mightgo to dover and see if they need help with set stuff... ouch .. it actaully hurt when linda and mr A told spencer to say that he made better marble than me... isn;t that silly. it;s not like it;s his fault, he;s being such a good little techie and doing so much .but seriously blow to my ego. i mean thats not fair ... it;s harder to make bigger salabs....*defeated sigh* anyways i am somewhat not wanting to go and help because i know i will hear about it...

anyways...like last sunday my mom decided that she is going to changemy room which is fine... it;s gonna be like this goldish color on the walls and i will have black wraught (spelling?) iron assecories and a bed.. and a black curtain thing.. and a black dresser and possibly a book shellf... well i want one anyways... but it;s not done.. 3 of my walls are kinda painted and everythign in my roomis pushed into the centre... lame lisa has no room .. can;t find anythign... for some reason though my cat has taken a likeing to sleeping on my bed... whenever i go to go to bed . she is there. and in the moring around 8ish .. i hear meow... and then i meow back.. and she comes and sleeps with me.... i do love it when she comes but bloddy helll.. she takes up alot of the bed for such a tint creature... . o wel

i've decided that i am taking this weekend off.. i'm gonna do what i want.
hahaha hopefully some D and d on sunday .. yea i know i'm a nerd.

oh yeah last night, went to that preview show of how i learned to drive... with chirs , jordan geoff, ashley and me.... haha :P and then we went to MGM... it was we talked alot ( well i mostly sat and listened) and sang to weird songs that we didnt; know why we knew the lyrics. haha i like going out with people.

it angers me that my blankets fall off my bed.. i need to sleep near a wall....

yea i think that is it .. toodles

if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you

woke up today feeling very crappy.. this feeling continued throughout the day with a breif subsidement during acting in which we did soem stage combat and in english in which we watched a movie. unfortunatly it has come back. i hate being grumpy and i am finding it a more often occurence these past few weeks. i am rememinded of a play that was created in the 24 play writting dealyo.. where this one woman was continually given these tasks that she lost it. my situaion is not entirly the same. i think i made my own tasks.. or make them worse by procrastinating... i feel as though many people are wanting my attention at the same time and i can;t give it to them. no matter how hard i try what i give is not enough. the woman in the play was told to let go and just live. but how?
on my way home today i had a realization... mr A once told me that when he had lots to do he would get sleepy.. it was his bodys way of telling him he couldn;t handle it. is that why i am always tired? who knows... it;s probably just that i don;t eat enough healthy foods... this being becuase i am never home .. food on the run. as of right now i should be doing my theatre history oral assignemt. i do not forsee it to take much time though. and i do feel the need to get things out of my head, there are soo many muddled thoughs in my head i don;t know what i believe, or want anymore. all i want is to be happy, but i am to concerned about other people's feelings to be worried about my own. kinda getting back to that play. how can i just give up when everyone eles is counting on me. or am i just making myself into something.
I often wonder if things in my head are they same as in real life. ok so i think that i am working hard at somethign is that really the case?.. do these people really think about my waht i think they do? i think that i am an amazing person... most of the time... but am i actaully. sometime i feel as though people are just stringing me along. patting my head and saying " good lisa" i guess i am actually cynical... as kylan so often tells me.
it;s funny how we beguin to belive what we hear. i supose thats the beauty of conditioning... how do you teach a dog tricks...? do it again rover ... good dog. more and more i realalize how i am affected by what i hear. sadly it comes from my own lips... i think i am a bad person becuase of the emotional harm that i enflict on others. i think perhaps i feel bad about my actions so to cover my own ass i say mean things about myself.. as if to justify my actions... i am sure this sounds like a mindless drabble of self pity, but these are the actual thoughs that pass through my mind... it isn;t all blank you know.
i guess it all comes back to worrieing about other people more than myself. i think i am strong therefor i can cope... but *whisper* i'm really just lieing to myself , fuck i don;t even know waht i am saying anymore.

i'd like to apologize to anyone who thought to read the whole of this. i'm not trying to compain, i just need to relese my mind somewhere.



p.s. i painted something beautiful
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/25207217/

10:17

yes so i got soem free time, so i might as well update. not much is new. the crucible is finally over. live will resurme as normal.the cast party was .. interseting. stayed up till 6 , which is the longest i have in a while. next day i played some D&D. i know i know i'm a big nerd , hahaha but it;s fun ok give me a break. then i dyed my hair.. woot woot.. well before that spencer made me dinner which was nice. random acts of kindness are always wonderful. umm monday was my first night with nothing.. so i did some SM work.. got my scripts together. yup.... umm yesterday ... in stage craft i cleaned the loading bay.... hahah wow you know you havenothing to talk about when you talk about cleaning up ... lame.. watched othello after school and then went and saw... saw2... too gorey for lisa.. i think i am getting more girlly sissy typeish.... i dunno. and today tehre are one act auditions... we shall see who the fetuses are ... woot... *twirls finger* bahh . thats it

p.s. ash mo , we will hang out soon... maybe this weekend?

ONE MORE

FUCKING SHOW YAYYYYYY. i hate the crucible.... with a fiery passion.. this morning i could not sleep in beucase i woke and had crucilve line stuck in my head.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh... tongiht after the show we are doing strike and then the cast party. i am dying kylans hair pink. before the show is underwear warm up... yes it is what is sounds to be... it;s tradition.*shrug*... ummm this after noon a bunch of us are bonding and going to a movie.. neato .. tomorrow i'm watching another othello with chris and michelle... and hoppefully doing somethign with spencer and then going out for coffee with dawn to discuss our day trips for the cruise... neato eh ... presently i am waiting for my hired help to come( haha kylan) so that he have help me put my evil plans into motiotion... p.s. they invole duct tape.. muahahah a.

umm oh tomorrow i will by dying my hair back to it;s brillian .. "spicy red"
eww i have 2 research papers due next week ... eep and then another one soon after... the crucible is almost over thought.

i fucking hate the crucible. ...

exausted

so i'm just sitting and stuff..it has been a long long weekend. building haunted house... the dumb crucible show..stupid parties where i know no one..it woukld have gottne better if i had stayed when pam and carolyn where there too.. then i lost my cell and freaked out. but io have it back finally. i am emotionally exausted and confused from this morning. watched the ridiculousely long othello with michelle and chris. then came home. got yelled at by my mom becuase my room isn;t clean. i'm sorry i haven't been home in a fucking week. i have another fucking week of the crucible. lots of time to sit and think. this probably won;t be a good week for lisa...
umm on an upside i got to talk to amber a bit and that was fun. i saw uncle joe and he is hillariouse. tomorrow i am hanging out with ashley and chris and michelle and going through the haunted house. i hope it is going well tongiht and i hope i didn;t ruin things for people.

there is no cure for what is killing me

somedays i hate myself..
somedays i hate you
i know there are many days
when you probably hate me too
please remember...
though i'm smiling on the surface
i'm crying deep within
my heart isnt breaking
thats how its always been

i'm still here
(L)

and i sat

and it was the best day of my life. ok not quite so today i had to get up at 8 to go to the fucken dentist.. lame. then i came back home and crawled back into bed. made kylan and i soem scrabled egg sandwiches.. he stayed the night at my house cuz it was way late last night after the party and he lives far away. speaking of last night that was pretty fubn ya know.. chillen in formal wear. i like getting dressed up.. they show was ok too. augh i can;t believe i have to sit through it 10 more times though .. lame. anyways back to today went and helped out with the haunted house... trying to give soem guidance i guesshahaha . helped them get soem walls up droped spencer off.. then came home and got into my pj's watched 10 things i hate about you in my couch with soem teawrapped in a blanket with a fire next to me... it was enjoyable.. then i went ad had hot bath... and now i feel refreshed... tomrrow i will help with the house again. i think sunday i might get seom work done... omg omg i have 3 nights off... what will i do .. wel haha probably bigg ass assignments... but w/e ... i don;t have to do the dumb show. can;t wait till it is over... fuck i just realized it;s kenny;s bithday on tuesday ... better get him somethign ... anywasy i'm out ttyl

WOw that was fun

last night was so much fun.the plan was 80's themed party after rehearsal. ha ha rehearsal was so like rushed cuz we where so eger to get ready for the party. hahaha the last act only tool lik 20 min haha.. anyways then we made our way to barbs. by the time the bulk of jsut where just getting there the neibours had already called to complain. it was so lame . cuz people wheren't even there yet the dudes jsut saw all the cars... then the cops came but everything was kewl. hahaha wow dude i dunno alot of specific things, i just had so much fun socializing with everyone. there was so much love and lots of kissing.... like i mean everyone... barb tried to slip me her toung.!!! hehehe *blush* caroline got really drunk and passes out kinda everywhere.. alleah woke up drunk this morening. it was james's first time drinking.... becky taught us a new drinking game....met soem new people... foumd that alex is freaking hillairouse and fun to get drunk with , and met afew new people .. all in all it was an interesting night.. that will be rememberd for a long while. till next time.. good night

sometimes i think my name must be mary

I hate life

The past two days have been horrible. yesterday was horrible, yet i think today topped it... i am exausted and getting sick. rehearsal went almost 4 hours beucase people couldn;t fucking remember their lines. i am very sore from sitting and tomorrow promises more dissapointment. i saw ashley today it was nice. she wore that perfume i like for me. i think the highest point in my day was going and picking out frames for glasses... in about a week i will be able to see again. they are need but i am impaitent and want them now : (... linda called me today asking to help the kids with the haunted house... i am very busy but would still like to help cuz they don;t have linda. it's always good to have an outsiders perspective. i will have to work out a shedual with spencer as to when they will be working and when i can come and help. dan and will are also helping... i look forward to being done with the crucible.. and have made kylan promis to beat me up it i ever thing of auditioning for anythign again... thanks to ross i hate acting.

there is no time for anything... i hope i can find time for my theatre history assignment... but who cares. i am worried how well i did on my english midterm.....

on somewhat lighter note i got 91% on my stage craft midterm I think it could be, one of , if not the hightest mark in the class, i hope anyways... i think mike gives me funny looks ? maybe i am crazy

she doesn't see her beauty
she tries to get away
sometimes
it's just that nothing seems worth saving

dirty dirty dirty

coverd in paint and foam chip type things.. the past two days i have been working on the cruicible set, it;s going fine.. hmm what has happened? well the turkey dinners where good. umm also "nerding it up" on the days off where good. this week i don;t remember what happend hmm except for thuesday we went swimming at the pool... we = lots of theatre people . and then had reheasal which was boring and made me hate ross more... umm then i was all sad and angry. so kylan cheered me up .. next day built some set and then today i build more set.. epp then next week there will be more set... man i am going to have a billion crew hours.. thats good though
haha later tonight might go see kylan and get som yummy chicken wings ... then tomorrow... nerding it up most likely.... and watching movies later on... hmm thats about it... and i am pretty lazy at the moment so no more writting for lisa...

one more day till turkey

and i am very excited. hmm i don' think alot has happened this week.. but lets recap. sunday i worked on my dumb essay. ended up finisheing on monday morning.. eww my mom woke me up at 645 ish .. eww... but i think it turned out to be a sweet essay.i get it backl on wednesday i am soo excited eeeep i dont; remember any significant details about the mid part of the week.. except megans and mine's parking adventure... A FUNNY .... and we started to build the set for the cruicalbe.... they trust me with power tools HEHEH

umm yesterday i went to school at 9 30 and built the set for stuff.. hahah i cut wood.. haha then i hung out with kylan and i went and me some of his friends an chilled with them.. he has the kewlest house.. it is like a cabin and there are crazy spiral stairs and it has that nice woody smell.. but his room is very cold... eep . this morning woke up and watched a bunch of episodes of family guy then went and got chinese food.. yummy.

umm yea i just had a hot bath it was really nice. .... ... and now i have just had dinner and am now dining on some apple crisp.. yummy. i think thats all i got..

It;s been a while

but the past week sure way busy. NIN was amazing they played for and hour and a half and i was loosing my voice from screaming so much. i *heart* nin. they played so many good songs to .. umm ebfore the concert soencer and i excpored a bit of van.. we went to metro town and i was bblown away fby all the stores.. then we took the bus and met a big group of other nin fans. then we got denied our room at the hotel we booked becuase neither of us is 19.. fucking lame.. but it';s ok we had a back up..
next day we had to get up early.. lame. so we could get bacl and i could go to stage craft... yay more word learning. tuesday was along day .. cuz after schooll michelle and i did our tech for our moviement peices and then me and kylan and jeff went to get food and stuff. then 3 hours rehearsal.. ouch..
next day kinda the same thing in acting we performed out movemnet peices... lots of people though ours was sweet... yay .., they liked my coreographing even though i don;t know how to dance... haha i geuss i can move still.. * insert lisa moving* except kylan and i got A&W .. yum ymu ... hen equally long boring rehearsal.. oh but we did fin out our part... i got the shittyest one in the play.. i am only on the stage for like 3 min maybe.. lame.. aso i am probably gonna drop it and go do techie work for the dover haunted house and musical .. linda said i could design the back drop!!!!
anyways thuesday had to go to rehearsal again .... gggggrrr beause i was in act 4 i had to go ... lame i maybe did soemone for 20 min.. then sat for the rest .. at least i got soem knitting done..but ew sitting for 2 and a half hours.... went to chris's after and tried to watch " all the great books abridged" but i was tooo tired.
friday went to dover.. finally got my play burned on to a dvd. no now i just need to get soem "Pictures" of it for my portfolo ... met up with kylan, we watched my play then the scarlette pimpernel then baked a cake.. then i showed him my scrap books while i got ready.... to while.. I wanted to look nice!!!! danmit ... anyways.. we went to moxies for dinner cuz it was spencers birthday... ( people present.... rick , robyn. nick , glenn, triin,. kylan, spencer. me cora....) i ordered chicken stripps.!!! then we went to the show. it was good, except by the end i got really tired and not so much into it... but it was ok still spencer held me up... thank you :) .... after the show we went to erins... well first i had to stop by my house adn get more slutty... apparentyit was the theme of the party. anyways. spencer got really drunk and it was funny. ahahah cuz he is cheap... nick also got drunk which was also pretty funny cuz haha well it; nick... and boy.. i never saw him smile soo much . hahah i also go tkinda drunkish . which was fun.. ahah don't worry everyone adam was there to give us all a ride. hahah it was nicks flaut.. silly nicky, then at spencer we where tryin to get nick to bed. and he ws funny haha i dunno; anways .. friday was a fun filled day
satureday was lame... felt kinda hung over but what was really lame about the day was that i had to play slowepitch with my crappy team... *sigh* waste of time.. but i did get a tripple.. man i smoked that ball .. then went to spencers watched movies with people and ate pizza( me nick triin, robyn glenn adam spencer... ) ahah we read soem of this " how to get iton book" that adam got spencer for his b-day . hahah itwas very amusing.. it;s a very think book. hahahah
and today *sigh* an end to the shinanigans.. i have to write and essay.. which actaulyl shouldn;t be to hard. but yea.

things i need to do some time.. possible soon
- get new glasses .. i have lost my other ones..
- update my portfolio
- read spencers new book hahaha it never hurts to be enlightened
- do laundry... i'll probably do that today
- paint somethign new
- extract myself from the crucible without causeing a ruckus
- draw megan a happy picture

i think thats all ...

p.s. i was so moved when i got 5 comments form people. it made me feel special *heart* you all

TODAYTODAYTODAY

OMG fuken going to see NIN TODAY... THIS POST DESERVES TO BE IN CAPITALS... I AM SOO EXCITED. AHHH I DON;T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY .. I I I I I ... SOOOOO STOKED. I JUT HOPE I DON';T GET STOLEN AND RAPED AND SOLD IN VACOUVER.. AHHHHH I HOPE YOU GUYS TRY AND BUY ME FROM THE BLACK MARKET IF THAT HAPPENDS.. I JUST .. AHHHH YAY



OMGOMGOMGOGMOGOGM... CAN YOU TELL THAT I AM EXCITED???
lOVE AND KISSES ~LISA~

2 days

until NIN that is... haha ok so tonight was nolan's birthday at tidys. that was pretty fun though i feel kinda sick now... i don;t know if it was themixing for 4 differnt types of alcohole that did it or those grose pizza things that i attempted to try again. i thought maybe they would be better in the oven... lets say i was wrong and i hope inever eat them again. ahaha it's so weird whenever i have something to drink , when i go to bed after i always have these dreams about still being at the party and then seeing more people show up that have no relevace to anythign going on ... like as iw as seeling earlier .. amber from my program walked in.. and then jordan d...i wonder who will be next???? anyways before the escapades of tonight i went to school(dover) and worked on my DVD version on deliver us not... then went to the mal and met up with michelle , chric and kylan. from my program. we hung around the mall then went down to value villiage. i aught a white dress with gree polka dots on it.. sweet eh.. anyways i'm kinda tired so i will go.. woot 2 days

hi Kids

soooo, i am waiting. .. i hate waiting. tonight we are going to be nerding it up playing board game... i don;t really feel like playing them.*sigh* spencer is suposed to be comming over to play.. i hope he remembers.. i also hope he had abetter day today ..
hmm waht is new.. went for coffee with nicole on tuesday.. and then later on we all went out to see charlie and the chocoalte factory... cuz it was amber's birthday ( she is in my program) umm lets see.. me chris. jordan . jeff. amber. michelle and kaitlyn went . after the movie we went to fast eddie. it was fun yay for getting to know people better. i've decided that michells and chris are my favorite people in the program . haha we stayed at fasst eddies past close cus we are silly and slow.. then we hung out , oustide for like at least 1/2 hour.. man where we kewl. haha group thurst.... then i braught chris home and made him watch moulin rouge. cuz he had not seen it.. that boy needs soem serious movie education
dududu
NIN in 11 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG ... hehe

twidling thumbs

so i am just sitting here waiting trying to get a hold of spencer... but i suspect andrea is on the phone which is lame. just been reading soem blogs and art and shat. i dunno .. suposed to hang at tidys today have some cinniman .. umm .. drink.... haha
so classes where good. omg some are sooo boring though... well i guess all of them have been so far but hopefully once we get into them they will be alot more funn. i am most excited for stage craft. augh my arms hurt and i don;t know why. lame ... hmmm... haha we had out theatre mixer last night.. that was pretty fun.. woul have been better if i was drinking with everyone eles:P o well . haha then after chris and i went and sat on the beach and there was lightening and it was behind the clouds and it look "sooooo beautiful" haha.
today i went to dover.. it;s weird going back and everyoine is like hey... and you feel kinda speical .. i dunno. it was neat decided that while i have timei should go to stage craft on wednesdays and fridays. haha and help out with musical theatre when i can.. i have time i might as welll be as involved in whatever theatre i can... i dunno how difficult my classes are going to get or what.. so i dunno,. but i hope i will be able to keep it up.
augh i am annoyed that i cannot get a hold of spencer :P:P:P:P lame... i will trya gain... 5th time....
ring ...ringggggg. ringggggg.... rin.... ringggggggggggg " you have reached 756..." nope no answer...
spencer says" yea just call my house i will be home..." mmmmhmmm well even if you are home darling i can get a hold of you... *annoyance *.... pause.


5-10 min later...call 6

dududu wastingh time eation rockets. yum yum yum...guess i will clean the comp room.... well thats done... took a whoel 4 min ... dudidid o well
shouldi try calling again... is there any point... i have hope i will try again

short blog

this is a short blog... size doesn;t matter you guys. it is 147 and i have to be at school at 10 30 ... rightnow i am doing laurndry . so i don;t look grubby on my first day of school. yay..school... damnit i forgot me book ... o well.
anyways for any of you that care i offically quit the walmart today. handed in my badge and dicount card( tear no more discount) and lame vest... on another note. i baught some socks new shoes and pants for school.. the pants are very very long... i don;t know what to do with them yet.* shrug*... yay theatre history then stage craft tomorrow... augh so i lost my glasses and i will probablty need soem.. so i should get some new ones... new frames i think... hmm i don;t have much to say. ace and i had a spa night tonight.. i waxed his feet and .veeted my legs( wow that stuff stinks) and we did foot soaks and facials... then i painted our nails and we watched horatio hornblower... he is so hard core.. umm i've decided that all my jobs from here on in should be related to theatre or back stage work.*shrug* it's more of a dream really..
anwyas i will go get my stuff ready for tomorrow so that i can sleep in later... *excellent* thought it will probalbly get up early from excitment toodles

for kate

la dida di da.. it is sunday 2 days till school. yay i am excited ahaha i wrote my shedual all kewl in my sketch book and did this sweet picture of a lily in the water and it;s reflection. also i did some sittign around. umm lets see what eles is new.. i finished the painting greg comissioned me for ... if you would liek to see it goooo. here...
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/22485822/
ummm yea other than just kinda hanging out adn watchign movies not mcuh has happened... hmm i went to see a show on thursady .. kincaid played.. it was pretty fun. just hung around outside most of the night ehhe.. augh but i got like elbowed in the back in teh mosh pit and it hurt for a while.but hey ya take your chances... umm oh going bacl afeew more days i got my car sterio installed.. yay it is neat and hip and kewl;..
oooOOo ok so i have wanted to quit for like ever right cuz i hate the mart. so i got up today and made myself a little resignation letter and was all ready to hand it in today and like and hour or two ago my supervisor calls to see what is the deal with me, working and such ... cuz i was taking time off. anways and i told him that i was going to hand in my resignation today ... so that kinda confirmed it... now i have to .. no backing out.. yes... haha haven;t told my rents yet... i'll let them find out later. hahaha ... my mom is gonna be so pisses but watch me give a damn. hahah apparently i am pretty enough to be a waitress at the cactus club *shrug* thats what ace says anyways.. and i shouldn;t become a dish washer.whatever.. hmm of yea last night i went swimming with ace and lee and sarah.. then we played dance dance revolution.. or soemthign liek that.. it was so h-core I am soooo not good at it.. hahah oh and like the day before that.. i baught a 4 pound bag of rocket candies.. muahaaha. omg i love them .. i pretty much garantee i will go through them and buy another bag before haloween.
isn"t it disgusting how soon they put holliday stuff out. o wel

hmm ok i think that is all .. haha perhaps iw ill fill you in later on the walmart situation .. my gloriouse exit.. i dunno hahah a

more boring posts about me :P haha

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest: You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you. At Your Lowest: You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life. In Love: You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude. How You're Attractive: You passion for life makes others passionate about you. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Having Fun?"

What's Your Power Color?

found on cora's blog

So yea i am bored and was reading people's stuff i found this on cora;s blog and thought i was intersting enough to share... do you think it is me ?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

sunday august 28th ... a day not as exciting as any other

... if that makes sence at all .. i dunno well at the moment it is not exciting becuase all i have done in gone to staples to look at printers... we are gonna get a kewl on with a scanner.. neat eh.. umm and then we went to A&B sound and looked at car sterio's ... got one ., it;s looks neat.. umm gonna get it installed on tuesday at 10 30 .. it will take an hour so if anyone wants to come and hang out with me for a while down town on tuesday morning please tell me . i would love to have some complany maybe we can go for coffee or a stoll down on the waterfront... dony all rush at once... please people one at a time one at a time... first come first served.... i'm here all week
so yea no i am updating becuase of several requests.... i was away camping give me a break... ahh yes camping... that was an ... interesting time. enojyable i guess.. excelt for the bad moods and hostilitly and pesterding... i went with josh , caitlin, kyle, ben and mike. caitlin was pissy most of the time.. which seemed to agrivate josh which made it akward for the rest of us. umm kyle ben and mike declaired me team leader.. basically i was a scape goat if anythign went wrong and a desicion maker when they couldn;t decide.... they insisted i was power hungery.. but they are silly boys.... umm i taugh them how to play canasta... it was ok .. difficult and painful.. but once they got it we were fine.. play for so long one of the days. last day we had a big game with all of us.. it was sooo painful... mike and ben kept cheeting which i could handle except caitlin woudl get all pissy at then and argu and complain..... needless to say i was not impressed by her attitue the whole trip. went swimming lots and fishing with glow sticks... we caught soem tree;s... i think josh liked his present.. i shall have to ask him

other than camping... hmm what is new.. hahaha spencer got his hair cut and it is really short... hehe... nick is suposed to be comming back from his fishing escapades some time this week.... i made 14.75 at a garage sale we had yesterday ... tonight i am going to see " A my name is alice " with nicole and her mother....
umm i sent out my stories to a bunch of people ... hopefully they liked them.. if you did not recieve them ask and i shall give.... i am uber excited about school this fall..i keep asking ace questions an i am sure he must be sick of my asking by now. but still uber excited...gonna get my books tomorrow hopefully...then i can look through them and get even more excited.. apparently there are only going to be 30 people in the whole program ... thats not so many.. and out of 17 first years they are like all boys... * wink wink * hahahah umm i need to clean my room... but not today ... getting my car sterio installed tuesday but you already know that ... and hey does anyone know when we are suposed to go and pick up our year books... i really want mine...
anyways i hope that this satifies you post hungry few... and please if you knowwhen we are to get out year books... tell me *wink* *heart* ~lisa ~

New And Improved

so i was reading other people's blogs and they looked so neat soi deciede to update my look. it's just like getting a new outfit... right spencer. hahahah not so much is new... haha i just thought i would mention my new style.. justincase you didn;t notice
oh last night i played toss and giggle( slow pitch ) haha it was pretty fun. i got a tripple. ahaha show those guys to movie in on me.. haha.. i guess i am kidna playing with that team now.. it's kewl theya re all really nice people. i wonder how much i will get to play with school though ... hmm better go do the laundry so i have soem clothes....
pfft... not that i';m sayingi need to wear clothes. ahah who needs em . ahah .. umm ahh ... nevermind.. haha

balancing boys

haha i thought it was an interesting title... but seriously.. thats what it feels like i am doing... man and i'm not even romantically involved with em .. so here is my ahh... spencer wanted to hang out at like 10 tonigh when he gets back form his party.. josh left me a message saying we could hang out tonight after like 8:30 and that he was gonna call me tomorrow... but ace also called me today and we are going to a movie tomorrow night.. but that should be find because he works in the day and we will go to a movie at night ... so i can hang out with josh in the day time.. but tonight if josh still wants after soccer i will probably end up going over to viste for a while then go see spencer at 10 30 ish.. we have to watch a movie that i baught on a whim..... i should never buy anything on a whim.... i seem to loose lots of my money that way ... or going out for food.... i like food, haha
omg .. ok so it;s my dad;s birthday today. and my mom made a turkey ( it was in the freezer and i said she should cook it beacuse ,,, well i love turkey sandwitches.....) anyways... .i baught him sincity for his b-day .,,, such and amazing movie... lovelove love it... we are going to wath it now acutally .. heheh yay it;s so visually stuning.. anywyas.. i'm excited atm .. i guess i like seeing all my guy friends.. but another thing i am stoked about is giving josh his birthday gift... hehe it is so kewl . i hope he likes it.. so much work though... anyways i'm off for now.. byeeeeeeeeeee

wasting time

Have you ever.

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends
(X) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) eaten Sushi
(X) been skiing
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake
(X) touched a snake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
( ) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
(x ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart
(X) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swam in the ocean
(x ) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently coloured with crayons
(X) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't do
( ) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) gone roller skating
( ) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( x) ate dog/cat food
(x ) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x ) sat on a roof top
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours?
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(X) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(X) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
(X) played chicken
( ) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x ) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
(X) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(X) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house

so yes... unfortunatly that took up less time than was needed to we wasted... so here is what is going on with lisa... i have been commision by two different people to do are work for them... like omg i'm famouse hahahah mmhmm. on a side fo that.. ace has suggested that he can set up a show for some of my art work at the theatre this yea .. isn;t that very neat... umm whateles is new.. ummi dunno i am going to play magic cards with josh and spencer today . haha omh i'm kewl.. guess iw ill bring settlers to ... everyone say hello to the biggest nerds in the world hahaa.. nah there are probably mre nerdy people than i. for soem reason my whole body aches... i don;t know why ... it is kinda disturbing.. lame.. umm
** la du la di da...*musical interlude*
... i don;t think there is anythign left to say

Camping adventure

Yay for camping.. this was the second trip of the summer for me.. the first being gabriola where i made the best corn on the cob i have ever had in my life... but anyways. yea friday morning i picked ben up and we got food then went to meed josh up at rathtevor.. but found that when we go tthere we could not get a site till 12 30.. so we had to wate around.. no problem .. we played settlers.. then we finally got the site.. we set it up chillen and went for a wlk on the beach .. i made a penis out of sand.... i don;t remember why .. but it was becuase of soemthign josh sais ... ( on a side note: I would want my barnicle to bring me milk and cookies ) andways then i had to go to work. but after work marie was coming to get me and then we had to rush back by 11 so that we didn;t get locked out of the gate.. i didn;t leave work till 10 40 ..we made it there in 10 min ... 10 to spare.
next morning I made bacon and eggs for breakfast... thern was some sitting and magica card playing.. then we( we being the people camping ... me josh caitlin marie ben and chase) all went to play soccer..( dumb idea when it is that hot out.. and it was only 11) played for a bit then went to get soem icea cream up at the store... i decided to walk. josh ben and chase ran and marie and caitling drove . it was kinda like a race... i lost.. but was close to beating marie and caitlin.. i was proud. josh walked back with me and he regailed me with his few drunken stories... I miss that kid. he is so entertaining dispite what he says* sigh*... once returned .. THE BEACH .. we made a sand "castle" and when i say "castle" i mean we dug a hole built walls around it and dug a mote.. and waited for the water to come itn.... ok so it started out all fine then for soem reason josh and ben decided to start their own hole and it became a contest... so marie caitlin and i where building out "castle" and then boys where digging a hole.. apparently it was bette than our ppsh ... and wel chase just stood aournd... andways .. it was fun.. i was inside when all the watch came in . tehe ../
then after the beach ... dun dundun.. i had a shower.... that was very cold and the water had to much pressure so it like hurt.. antways.. then food and chilling and settlers and magic cards... eventually we got to playing strippoker I started loosing right away.. i don;t knwo why i always wanna play ahaha i'm so bad at poker.. anyways at the end... marie chase and I were compleatly naked.. caitlin had her underwear left. ben was in his boxers but he had won lots of chips so i;m sure he could have baught back some clothes and josh had only lost his shirt.
this morning i made a green deck adn we packed all our stuff... went that was done adn joshs dad was there.. we started to play a game of magic but got kicked out of the site...
the whole time well generallty we where kinda worried taht the "ranger" would find out we had more than 4 people camping on the site( 4 was the max for one site... ) ahah especially when we where playing strip poker and the greater number of us where fairly naked

now i work tonight.. then have 4 days off. then work friday .. then next sunday ( the 14th ) and then once more on friday (19th ) then i have 3 weeks off. at least i should ... if anyone wants to go camping.. call me.. i can make really good corn on the cob.. i also have a camp site the we prety much don;t have to pay for .. and is secluded and sweet. peace out....... hate in . hahaha i dunno where that came from.. it;s pretty lame .. but w.e

lisa life up date

soo i am sitting here on this friday evening.. it;s a nice night out.. the events of the past week goes as follows:
- seussical shows go very well. castparty is fairly decent.
- 5 people show up to take down the set. lame... i recruit spencer then take him out to brunch as a reward
- lisa works 3 days in a row and decided she has had enough..... calls in sick next day which is convinient becuase she can now go to rasmus's good by party.. rum is my new favorite.. i had a delightful time
- skipping back to wednesdays , spencer takes me out to dinner as repayment for brunch* shrug* then we watch lord of the rings " return of the king" which i believe that i haven;t watch ... turns out i on;y didn;t see tha last 20 mintutes... o well
- ashleyu slept over tursday night.. so friday morning we proceed to mal to get soem school finacial buisness done... lisa is excited to go to school in fall
- lisa and ashley the proceed to go get lisa's ear peirced.. i am now 105$ poorer but oh that much more fasionable.. haha i now have a rook peircing it looks sweet i like it... it didn;t hurt but there was a horrible crunching noise.... ask ashley about my face... ahahaha
- went to the lake... somehow it magically got clouddy and i couldn;t swimm anyways cuz the lake was gross for my ear.. we decided no-one eles would come so we left.. afew min after leaving will calls me
- once i am home fore about 20 min.. i get a call from nolan... he is at the lake... silly boys.. just can;t show up on time.. anyways..
- been chillaxen with spencer. haha looking through my year books good times..
- tomorrow will probably go to my family reunion and stay the night.. ahaha will probably drag spencer along so i do;t have to interact with my family... i find it akward talking to people that i don;t remember but remember me.. haha i well...

this concludes my week overview... thanks for watching *heart* lisa

a good night

hehe so all day i was tired...just lack of motivation or w/e , and then i got to work and everytign worked out nicely.. and i got everythign done.. and on my break i baught the fragile.. as NIN cd.( sooo excited to see them btw) and then i find out that i am getting a raise...! nice and i am hungry so spencer and i are going on a search for food,.. i want pizza but ia bout i wil find it

i wrote a sweet poem... if youi care for that kid of stuff please read and enjoy
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/20483068/

anyways i'm out ... need food

july 6th

my heart hurts
i'm so tired i could faint
i think i feel dizzy
from the fumes of tha paint.

one more night of work
then three days of rest
i know out of anyone
i'll use this time best

been listening to seusse
now there is rhyme in my head
now your reading my post
to see what ive said.

so thats enough of the rhyming.. i had another verse lined up.. but i couldn;t finishit... so it got cut. umm arts alive is going great who ville is done. just the jungle left,shane and i have pretty much done it all .. oh and tom our little helper hahaha it;s neat getting to know him again kinda.. i dunno it;s weird. um umum... yea like i mention is my little poem after tonight i get 3 days off of work .. that will be a nice break seeing as at the moement i am compleatl drained... i might have to stay till 10 30 in stead of 9 30 .. which woul dbe lame.. but umm.. no it;s jsut lame... tomorow going to seee war of the world with spencer... that should be neat. augh... soo tired... i could sure use like a massage ..*cough cough*.. any takers??*wink wink * augh.. :P umm it seems a little surpressed now but there where people who where all grr and i dunno ya try and help and give advice when people ask... but then they don;t take it... i dunnoi guess i shouldn't bother to much with other people's lives.. takes to much energy... which i have none of right now.. i don;t even really know if my sentance makes sence becuase i stopped half way through and then started again withough readin it.

sometimes i feel a little alone, but othe times as if i'm all that matters in the world.. thats a nice feeling, even if sometimes i don;t think i deserve it. i like everyone to know they are appriciated even if i'm not. people's misconseptions bother me... it's really not how they think. something more but something less, quite possibly a mess. damn that doctor suess and his rhryming technique. there is no way i can fight this , i'm just feeling to weak. so here is the conclusion to my story of the day.you've seen afew thoughts in an interesting way . this is not much time left , i'm sorry to say , but i must go to work. will post again another day

grad u ma ation

so grad today .. neat... umm yea it;s been 13 years... yea next year going for 4 more... what a waste of time hahaha. o well. dry grad will be neat , i've decided that i am going to win one of the big cash prizes that would please me... hmm guess i should get ready soon.. augh school at 10 30 .. for sandwiches i won;t like... free food never works out for me.there is always to many veggies. or weird sauces.* shuddter*
tomorrow is canada way .. I will probably sleep through alot of it. as i am stayng up all nght.. then i am going to a party at my cousin dawns house.. btw if anyone reads this in time and wants they can come.. just ya know ask me about it.. should be fun. umm yea i am le hungry so i think i will make a scrambled egg sandwich .. yumm hehehe





p.s. I am le here...
please don't forget

look around ....

ever feel kinda tossed aside, cuz something better came along... yup i'm kinda down right now... it was silly but it made me sad. i hate akward moments also.. your all like what do i do? *sigh* i'm also bummed about shane taking my idea for mr A using it as his own.. yea yea yea i know none of you care, but it was what i wanted to do for him, my gift, i had it all planned out then out fo no where it gets snached away from you... make you feel violated. trust me if it happened to you .. you would be just as dissapointed.. what i give is all i got... kinda.. now i need to think of somethign eles... DAMN IT ... i'm so not happy anymore... i just wanna curl up in a ball and lock myself away... stupid moods , i know it's not really true but it feels like no one would ever notice....

"look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares "
well katie P might.. i am doing props with her.. it is going to be super fun but i can;t even be excited any more... i should be fucking jumping wit joy.. i have one more day of highschool left and today is fucked becuase of two stupid things that shouldn't matter... but.. it is the little things that count.. thats what gets me.. * sigh*
augh.. i better cheer up befor nicole and ash mo get here... i'm helping them make things .. and i have to make things.. and food and go to work and finish journals and resume.... i duno how i will get it all done.... feels like my suport left me... i'm just being stupid..sometimes i hate myself.

somedays i hate myself..
someday i hate you
i know there are many days
when you probably hate me too

some how i see through all the good
and focas on that bad
it usually happends on the days
i'm feeling really sad

there's no one here to comfort
they've all forgotten me today
i'll sit alone till i'm over this
and then be on my way

does it seem like nothing bothers me?
i'm not really made of stone
sure it's nice once in a while
but i hate to be alone

please remember...
though i'm smiling on the surface
i'm crying deep within
my heart isnt breaking
thats how its always been

i like chips

thats right .. i'm eating some right now.... umm just about to go to bed,,, thought i would write a little something somethign ahaha .. i had a free day today .. no ball or work ,, woot woot.. so i spent the time after school dying soem suits for my pay and braiding 50 foot umbilical cords... it takes like 30 min to do one.. i still have one left btw.. augh .. spencer came and helped me.. then we went and visited ashmo.. and then spencer and i hun out.. haha i went to save on and baught marichino cherries.. they are yummy ummm yea i dunno 9 more days of school left can;t wait till it;s over.. year end actig show comming up excited for that.. and gonoriah... that it gonna be fun ahah OH AND ASH MO"S B_DAY . haha i can;t wait to give her her gifty.. i hope she likes it... anyways off to bed for lisa...

I tried, I Gave up..

..After everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become...
thank you
I *heart* you







i don't understand how you put up with me


...i'm not worth the second thought




... but i guess don't mind

deaylo

I AM: Sorry for the stupid things i have done
I WILL ALWAYS: be there
I MISS: being the one you talk to
I SMELL: like vanilla
I CRAVE: attention
I WORRY: about everything way to much
I REGRET: only afew things in my past
I LOVE: to paint... and eat
I SLIGHTLY: hate myself
I DANCE: like an idiot in my car
I SING: along to musicals
I CANT STAND: for long periods of time without falling over
I LOST: my best friend
I LIKE: to be kissed
I LISTEN: when you need to talk
I CAN BE FOUND:if you care to look for me
I NEED: to know what people are thinking... and what time it is
I KNOW THAT: your upset
I HOPE: I can help
I WANT: to be happy
I AM ALWAYS: overanalizing
I CRY: when i mean it
I FELL: unapriciated... looked over.. forgotten ....unimportant.. out of the loop .. by everyone except one person
I WILL: continue on like i always do
I WONT: stop caring and trying to make people happy
I THINK: too much for my own good
I SHOULD: resist
I COULD: do more
I WOULD: go swimming if it was summer
I DIDNT: think
I LOOK: different to myself than everyone eles
I HEAR: the lawn mower
I HURT: more than i show
I HATE: some of the things i do , how i act sometimes and not being able to make decisions
I FEAR: being alone
I DONT: know all the answers
I FEEL: ...loved
I CARE: what my friends really think about me
I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO: satify my cravings
I HIDE: behind a mask
I WRITE: quotes or poems to help me think
I PLAY: on swings
I LEARN: something new everyday
I WILL BE: recognized.. one day
I SAY: stupid things that dont make any sence
I DONT THINK: people know who i really am
I LOVE TO: be with people.. even if it;s just sitting listening to music
I ALWAYS: wonder
I HAVE: needs
I BELIEVE: in myself... most of the time
I NEVER: thought it could happen

you make me feel alive again and wanted for the first.... when did you cast this spell upon me, please say that it will never end..... tell me anyways

place your hands upon me.. I am soft
I don't bite......
.. Unless you want me to....
unexplainable dilema... the want and the know....or..unknown......I am my own defeat and you my saviour
..don't stop rescuing me....

These sunglasses are to dark...

... i can't see the sun today. my happy mood depleated... there isn't much to say. a silly little incident, it drained my good mood dry... some one knock me out of it...it feels like I could cry. I feel the tears are welling, i choke to hold them back. don't know why i feel so sad... happiness under attack.

so this is compleatly ridiculouse... i feel soo sad today... like at any moment i could start to cry.. it all started yesterday when the boys( spencer and tayler) where over.. they play crocano while i dyed my hair... when i was letting it set i came in to visit them.. got soem cheese ans crackers and offered them whatever they liked... they where difficult. so i leave and come back and they are laughing and they won't tell me what .. it really bugged me fore seom reason ... it was as if they where makeing fun of me behind my back while i was there... so i went to finish my hair and all the time i was just stewing... my disadisfaction escilating...when i returned they where all quiet , as if they knew that had annoyed me and where trying to be all nice " your hair looks nice " mmhmm i dunno about you but i don't wanna hear compliments when i am in a bad mood.. especially when they sound kinda forced. augh .. it's not their fault they just kinda pushed whats was already there becuase earlier at baseball michells was being such a power hungry bitch. the first drill we did she just couldn't be pleased.. we had to do push-ups when we didn't yell loud enough.. and missed a cover.. or a throw.. just so you know.. if you don;t already my mouth is all screwed up right now.. the skin around it is all dry and hurting and my lips are cracked. i cannot ( or at least could not yesterday) open my like at all.. like it hurt to eat anything cuz i would have to open my mouth .. so you can imagine that it is hard to yell.. also, i'm getting sick so my throat is all buggered.. quess who got to do push ups... she said for me to yell louder... told her i couldn't my mmouth was all buggered .. so have to do pushups cuz i am making up excuses .. does she thing that i am lieing to piss her of.. i know she is in a bitchy mood why would i wanna anger her firther... it;s not the fact that i had to do pushups that bugged me it's the fact that she didn't even think to believe what i was saying... so the rest of the night i was kinda ticked off... yea be had to do abunch more pushups and she yelled abunch more... so you see it's not that the boys did anything bad... they just havebad timing... so i am in this shitty mood and i get to have rehearsal and work... wonder what tomorrow will be like

thanks cupcake

soo i'm happy, but worried at the same time... digging myself in a hole again, but once you've started digging you don;t wanna stop cuz you like the hole.. it;s nice and cozy and protects you .... sometimes you go to deep ...and you can;t get out.

" listen to my muscle memory"

" I want what I want"

"nothing seems to satisfy, I don't want it , I just need it "

The Road of desire goes both ways ...

omg ... creepy

ou are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.

You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.

HOLY CRAP... its scrary how these things work out someimes...

i knew it.....

How evil are you?

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

i don;t think there are words to describe how i feel right now... i hate myself. i'm sorry beyond belief... sorry doesn;t even beguin to describe how i feel i betrayed you. i'm stupid. i should have known... i should know by now not to trust myself. i know for sure. tomorow is going to be hard. i know it.... i can;t think of anythign to do to show you ... i hate myself.. i'm stupid. i want forgivness , but do i deserve it ... i hate myself ...

HOLY COW

aha chill laura chill.. hahaha yea so it;s been like about a billion years scince ihave posted anything but i;v ebeen busy with stuff and stuff. perhaps i will have more time nwo that festival is almost over adn i don;t have math . miahaha thats right i am a slacker and got out of math.. ok so it is saturday .. i worked all day and am uber exaused.. umm yesterday i also worked and then went to tidy;s that was fun .. interesting stories... hahaha um the day before that .. thursday it was my birthday .. super duper super..umm yea .. so i can do stuff....like vote..and buy porn... umm lets see lets see. i made the sweetest tree omg it;s so amazing.. i made it for the festival play. umm i also designed the shirts... theya re soo sweet it is gonan be an amzasing show . we had a reheearsal this morning and we went thoguht the whole show... it;s a very emotional production i was so excited to see the last scene.. the mute scene omg i take credit for that,,, my idea hahaha ,, watch everyone will forget ,,, it';s most likley just in my head, but it seems to me that i do these relly kewl things or accomplishsomethign and eveyone kinda brushes it off . it makes me feel crappy, i guess i would like more attentuon .. i dunno *sigh* ummm yea i am lost and no so much sure what to write.. sooo i wil end here .... the end

Personality Disorder Test

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

just do it :P

Dried up, tied up and dead to the world

soo it is wednesday. i'm a sicky ... i doubt that i have done and thign productive scince ... saturday when i hung out with ash and her bro.... hmm ok maybe thats a lie i went to work monday night..... but i came home earlie... it was horrible i has to do switch board .. it was the worst thing in the world... you don't knwo much i hate phones.... andways oh i went to company yestyerday ... so i guess i did 2 semi productive things.....hm and 1 productive thing... i forgot about my provinical exam on mom morning.. geeze... i'm not doing so well in the remembering department... i have to work todaty and tomorrow... i hate having the day off then working at night it makes me feel liek there isn o time to do anything but sit around. and I have so accomplished that.... been painting... can't wait to start next semester... i should make sure my calculator is good and running... i hope it doesn't have cancer :S umm umm umm i wish i wasn't sick i wanna hangout with people. i wanna do somethe crazy and fun. i want it to be summer...i have come to the conclusion that i am a compulsive eater.. no a good thing... it distresses me, gah ..

i wonder if anyone fun is working tonight or if it will be busy....hmmm. i'm sorry to those how might be reading this though i doubt that there are many if any... but there is not actauly content contained in this particular blog... merely the whiney ramblings of a lisa... next week .. drawing and painting.. hey i think ash is in my class nifty... perhaps with guiadance i will produce some work that satisfies me. not that I think that work i produce is bad but i want to do better... creat somethign amazing.. i need to be inpired.... work on my details ... expiriment with more colors... just improve.. mmmmm my house coat is soo fuzzy .it;s 4 50 and i haven;t gotten dresses yet how pathetic is that ...

why do i never take myself seriously.... i say some of the stupodest things ive heard... i dunno i guess i do it for comedic effect but to other people inderstand what it is rather than what i appears to be... i doesn;t really matter i guess... Gah i've had enought of this....

8 days holly crap

seems like forever since i have posed my simple little htought on this web page. here is the deal.. i am addicted to this site called deviant art.. if you wanna see my galary go... here http://pinkizhip.deviantart.com/
so yea semester one is over except for the 1 provincal i have tomorrowmornign in english.. whish i better do well on ... despite what my mother wants i will not get a B in english 2nd term i might even get a C donest that suck !!! it scares me how she is gonna react .. i don;t even know hoe it got that love *cry's*
i think i will talk to my dad first he can calm her down. and if i don;t do good on my provincial i dunno if i will be able to get into the course i want ... i don;t remember the requitement ... perhaps i will check that now... ummm yea i dunno company is going good ... gah i don;t wanan write anymore i have freaked myself out with my mark... good day

Ode ...

soo i have to write this ode for english and iwas like hey i have some spare time..( by the way i am atjenn 2's house waiting for people to show up.. jenn dissapeared to go get people) but then i am all like lost on what to write. so what is one to do... anyways i will fill the worls in on my day.. so iworedk for 4 hours... then when i got home i wanted to go to electric lettice... so cassy came with me.. there isn;t anything good there if you where wondering.( thought* this keyboard is rather loud.. thought it makes it fun to type on.) then scince my shopping impulse was not satisfided we went to walk aroudnb the mall ..harbourpark .. it;s all crazy and different looking, ahah there is this really big food court but only like 3 places to get food :P haha , anyways there was this crazy store and it has soem sweet clothes..i baught a shirt.. cassy says that i have to wear it on monday.. i can deal with that ... i have to find out wheniwork next week.. random thgouth.. anyways whenwe got back i had amassive turkey dinner. for some reason we had a turkey and my dad made it for dinner. .. why doesn;t really matter.,. allthat matters is that i get turkey snadwiches for like a week. anyways, jenn asked me to chill at her house with people.. there is poker at joshes house... colman wants me go to his house. jake wants me to go skatting and ace wanted to go for coffee,.. i just can't please everyone.... AMY and DAN and ASHELY just showed up... nifty. anyways i will end this here.. tomorrow i will tell of the adventures of the night... until then .....

i'm not in love

what up what up.. it is way to early to be uwake on a saturday morning... stupif working .. its only 4 hours to *shaking fist*just a little recap on yesterday .. um ashley stayed the night ..t he night before ce we were workingon the "Loosly conected" and so in D block we just kinda vedged oh oh oh but wait .. going back to thursday night hehe that was uber fun and then me , ash , shane, will donnie, nick and kyle went out for ice cream to DQ nick ordered 2 baskets of onion rings eeps jsut for himselkf.. i though thtat was intesnse. umm yea,.,, oh yea " healthy snakes" right ash
k so back to yesterday . nothing was really up at all ..we went to the mall and will and shane were there so we all went shopping. baught 3 new shirts and mechanical animals. finally , no onehad it for the longest time. umm after school was complany we didn't get much decided aha i enjoyeds some of the skits we made though ... like mine ace and laura's Ace- " bring ham" haha oh but spencer kept calling me a poser* tear* and afterwards there was just a little group discussion about scitso frinis ( i dunno how to spell it) or like multipe personality disorder and that seemed to be going somewhere yea then ace hung out while i set stuff up .. and then at like 5 me ace and shane went to moxies to get soem muchies.. yea chicken strips... then back to the show. everythign went good, wanted to do somethign crazxy after but we ended up doin quite the oposite... it is explained in my previouse blog more and more i am getting this feeling that i wanna break out. i feel everythign is come so routine.. and i know that life is gona be fully of routine times but i just wanna escape for alittle bit ... perhaps things will be different when the nest sememster starts. aught work soonn better end this so i can get dressed. and out.

" i'm not in love, but i'm gonna fuck ya, till someone better comes along"

stage manager yea

so tonight was the last of two night where i helped out with the grade 11 /12's , year end show,, nifty eh and mr A says that i can put me as stage manager down in my protfolio... i seems nifty to me. any who after that tasha nicole and i got soem coffee at the bucks.... and proceeded to laura's played som duck hunt... tryed to make a fire and now we are cooking bacon... i much so help laura... so this is the end... my only friend the end... so perhaps i will add later...

walking in between the rain drops

have you ever noticed that when it is raining that sometimes there are really big droplets and its like... it's like you can walk and not have them drop on you... obviously that isn;t really true.. but just the feeling of haveing them not even touch you even though you are in the middle of the rain .. i think it's amazing .. ahaha dunno if anyone eles knows what i am tlaking bout ...

.. so in general we all liketo help each other... spareing afew bucks so your freinds can get lunch,. giving a ride..stepping ito a part when someone is suick( which you should never do unless you knwo what the script it... *cough*) but what do you do when there isn;t anythign eles... your at the end of your rope.. your sholders in use and your running out of comforting words.. and all you wanna do is make the world better for the person. do you just have to sit back and watch them suffer ..you can go thought the tribulations of life by their side... but is it enough.... i dunno exactly where i am going with this.. but i just wish that i could do more for those i care about... it's all very simply and difficult at the same time ...

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I’ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss long goodnight and everything will be alright,
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

In The End Everything We Do... Is Just Everything We've

bellybutton oranges

i have just returned home from work and there is a delightful box of navel oranges on teh the kitchen floor ( get it navel .. bely button ) anyways i go go at one... peel.. peel peel ,. .. with the peel they look quite impressive.. but once it come off the oranges really isn;t hat big . So here i am munch munch munching and i have decided that oranges taste the best when someone eles peels them.... now you might be thinking .. but lisa it;s rewarding doing it for your self... yes.. but it tastes better when someone eles does it. example my dad soemtimes had oranges and i steal pieces and they are super good but when i decied i want one they just don;t add up anyways today was ok ,, i felt so super at school today i duno.. i think it is cuz of my hair... i like it.. i dunno ummmmm nothin super happened oh after schoolwas the first complay meeting/rehearsal dealyo.. it;s spiffy mr a asked me to me the technialc designer.. or ??? production designer... i dunno some kind of designer.. i think i make things look good. hahaha i guess i'll figure that out... anyways we did some team building stuff and then tryed to narrow down the toic that the play is gonna del with... no topic yet.. next rehearsal friday .. by the way friday is pizza day for me at work... don;t let me forget cuz i will cry :( ewww today at work this creepy guys was chekcin me out ,,., ew eweweweww itwas sooo yucky .. old creepy guys arecreepy ... it as pretty dead though so that was kewl . ummm omg second semester is almost here. eep sooo excited 2!! art classes .. plus acting . it is gonns be sweet ! woot woot ... hmmm friday i am suposed to hang out with coleman but tasha is goins to soem thign and i kidan wanna do that.. so i dunno what i am gonna do ..:heheheh ace forgot his cinnimon toast crunch here ... i am gonna eat it... well not all of it .. anywho i think i am gonna go to bed.. lisa needs her beauty sleep. hahaha lots of it *wink* heheh check ya later byeeee
p.s. hahaha oh yeah for anyone who is interested.. i can hook whoever up with an 8 x 10 signed print of any of my paintins for the low low price of 10$ .. remember its signerd ;) hahaha . i just thought of it and i think it;s a prettly good idea hehehe

more snow oh dear

at tidy's at the moment,, soem of us got together to celebrate his bithday ... times were going good.. then got bored andwanted food so i got will and amy and dan to mish with me to little ceasars and then tim hortons. it was a great fun time but it was very cold. very very cold. amy is a hobbit and dan tryed to give me a face wash but was unsuccesful... the pizza took a while but it was ok cuz amy and i went to 7-11 and got candy and pringles. one the way back after timmies amy and will slid lots. then when we were most of the way home i discovered that i had a hood.. SWEET hahaha. oh yea earlier today before work i baught a new pair of pants for 12 $ and this sweater thingy for 11 $ .. there is lots on for clearence which is sweet hahaha ... cuz i like clothes and i need more.. tomorrow i have to di my stagecraft project.. laura is gonna sleep over to night so i dunno when i will get around to it. ududud we are just chillen listing to some clapton... i'm kinda sleepy... perhaps i will steal laura and go back to my place.. wink wink .. she is a little up and down at the moment ,and i wanna cheer her up.. perhaps i will dance for her ahaahaha yea right like that would work hahah .. well maybe she would laught... tonightn would have been funner if here were more people or i went sleding or i had more alcohol hehehe *tear* one does not even give me a buzz,

" what will you do when you get lonley , no one waiting by your side, you;ve been running hiding much to long... layla ,, you've got me ne my need, beggin darling please .. ...
darlign won;t you easy my worried mind. " woot woot
o well thats about it till the next time i blog...

captains log star date 39 1/2

ello ello ello , what a wonderful morning.. i got up before i had to of course i got to sleep a little later than usual but whatever. i feel chipper and less tired .haha lets see how long this last's... last night i did not have to work abd i have the whole night to do whatever i likd and i did nothign ... no painting .. nothign .. though ti did kinda plan soemthign but we wil see how that works out . anywho nothing.. i had no energy. i went to bed at 10 .. thats very early for me. also to add to the chipperness i have my car again .. i can drive it to school so i donlt have to walk in the bloody cold. hmm what eles is fun.tea is good though i burnt my tounge... i have 2 fridays off in a row! that exceites me . less fun is the fact that i am at work at the time of mr.A's company audition
OH i wanna get a really bright red and put highlights in my hair.. it;s alwaus kidan red but i want some super highlights... i dunno how well it would work becuase my hair dark... but i'd like to find out.. hmm i love my new eye liner that doesn't come off in 2 seconds.. woot woot . i don;t know what i want to wear tosay but i have like half and hour to decide.. exciting. hmm nicole keeps telling me how horribley crappy chemestry is.. i'm kinda scrared and less wanting to take it ... i'm going into backl stage stuff why do i need chem? i was wondering how those self directed courses go... like mel has her choir thing.... i wonder if i would set one up. laura gave me this super idea to hold an art show... like set up a galery in the mulit purpose room .. wouldn;t that be kewl .. maybe i could set up some thing like that or hmmm somethign ,... likei don;t think one show woulb be enough ... but what couldi add to it... personally i don;t really seem me getting out of chem to do thaty .. my rents would not be pleased but painting is my passion..so perhaps they'd coem around..... oh so what got me all hyped up about his at the moment. is mr A gave ash and I this submission form to get into this art exibition dealyo .. i was uber excited .. and still am but i not do not know what to paint.. the theme is dreams and nightmares and the subconshiouse which is sooo right up my ally... thats what i paitn... but im having difficulties thinign of some thign super... thats the problem i guess .. is houldn;t be thinking of it . it will come to me .... hmm perhaps i shall go and get dressed now...

p.s. hey if anyone has any , comments or ideas about the mini gallery idea , or art show... let me know.. perhaps i could put soemthign together after all

why am i so tired ...

monday today .. hat to go back to silly school... it wasn;t that bad excplt we were gonna have to do our debates in french class and i was a horrible person and wasn;t prepared , laura i apologize.. i'm a lazy person and i should have been more responisble. working back wards before lunch was stagecraft with pizza.. yeh right on... augh i woke up this morning and my triceps were very sore.. i am guessing this is from sledding... oh how the pain is worth it. i hope it snows some more.. i wouldn't mind another snow day haha. though it would probably be bad cuz we would fall way behind in class. i have to prepair for an englsh essay ... and i am not quite sure how... there are soo many thoughts that are cluttering my mind. it;s weird i have all these thoughts and feelings that i hate and don;t like but i am able to understand them rationally so i know what is going on and it kinda annoys me... then there is my second guessing when it comes ( mostly) to matters with other people..... brrrrr it;s vert cold in my comp room .. yay legwarmers...i feel very tired alot of the time, i have little ambition to get things done,..

i'm all wabbly, tilting.. teatering ready to take to fall
collaps to the floor and lean agaist the wall
slide into my mind , pick out my poison thoughts...
these tainted memories that keep sleep from me
and make my white eyes shot

unleash me from my madness
i want to feel loved again
please wash away my sadness
let me love again
take it all away
before I, don;t let me fade away

Who is that strangers looking out at me
looking out beyond borders of ... simple sanity
does she see what i see?
why can't i recognnize this person ... me

unleash me from my madness
i want to feel loved again
please wash away my sadness
let me love again
take it all away
before I, don't let me fade away

let me love again
take it all away
before I, don't let me fade away
fading away falling away ...
fading away falling away..
don't let me fade away

what am i left with

trapped in a glass sphere
floating on a sea of disbelief
the waters around lap against my container
laughting, mocking at the comunity that they share
at what i do not posses,
the sphere , containrer .. prison ,. it is my own head

where am i to start?where am i to end
i am waiting for the future to arive and take me away from ...
whatever i am left with

is there no one to save me from myself
....................
The past few days have been event full and most exciting . friday with the lack of school and abundance of snow.. then slackidness of work.. saturday at work with the power going out .. getiing payed to sit around, and later that night ,, the girls came over ( laura nicole mel, tasha) movies sledding at like midnight with the boys( james nolan dylan) that was good fun cold but fun... so what if i'm a littlle bruised up hahah *sigh* then more movies and some chat... not much since my lifa has been quite uneventlfu latley and those events that have occured upset and confusesme .. these are not worht mentioning. to day we got up and made some pitia pizza's they were good. people left ... i watched troy.. tryed to do homework, accomplished some then gave up.... been sitting doing nothign ... what a way to end the weekend

too much for myslef to handle

same day 400 o clock now... very tired... but it has been a busy day. after doing nothign for many hours i had a mish over to laura's house were her nicoel an i proceeded to sled down a path by her house .. then we went to rutherford school and that was fun haha. we came up with many interseing " techniques" for sledding.. including. have all three of us on one snowboard type thing then haveing laura and i each on a snowboard thing with nicole sretched overtop of both of us holding us together ... good times... then we returned home and made hot chocolate. woot woot and watched " three to tango" hehehe it's funny. now i am doing more waisting time before work!!! yay actually maybe i can have a nap.... oh yes it is sil snowing ... crazy and kinda dissapointing.. as now i cannot go and play poker with josh and people... at least i won;t loose my money ... but were will the fun be???? i must go weat dinner... do day to you...
p.s. nicole.. you forgot your watch... i am holding it for ransom..muahahahahah

I'm wide awake the more I sleep

the time .. 5:25.. i have been awake scince 3:30 and woke once an hour before that... total sleep maybe 3 hours... why i cannot sleep i do not know... but i woke up to get a drink... twice i guess .. have not been able to sleep since i pray that there is no school today becuase i do not belive that i would be able to function.. though i would be able to show lind my painting , get my drawing from mrs haaf, and ask about creating a resume type dealyo to send to B2B to possibly get som work experience.. haha wouldn't that be swell.... oh god ya see that .. i must be tired i used the adgective swell.BUt any who what t to write this early in themoring, haha nothign much has happened ... i did make juice in the dark... although i supose that it wasn;t entirely dark... the snow iluminated everythign quite nicly... actaulyl the first time i woke and looked out of my front room window, i was moved and wanted a picuter but sadly my camera is shit y taking picuteres of snow in the dark.... so imust be commited for memory... gah ... i thoguh that perhaps i would paint it gah , i am sorry for all of you that have to endure my ramblings about painting but it is indeed one of my greatest passions... funnly enough i never did it much intil after a certain relationship was ended... ahaha boyfriends must take up too much time . who needs them... well .. gah << that is sooo my sound for the week. hahaha just thismorning i realized how much i like me cat... she has so much character,.. last night we played tag.. it's very cute... she will chase me then i will turn around reallty quick on her and she will get scared and her tail gets all puffy. theni chase her.. and the game progresses.. but as i was saying before,. this morning i came down stairs and sat in the front room .. jsut to look at the snow. and i hear this little jingle... it is my kitten ( she has a bell on her collar) she comes and sits with me .. i pet her she ( she does this most tof thetime) she will lick your had to show her apriciation as well as purr( i'm sure most cats will mostlys do this) .. then she got up and jumped to the window cill( i dunno if thats how you spell it ... it kinda looks funny .) and she scratched her cheeks on this glass thing that my mom had sitting there,so smart... i dunno it is silly but iwas also cute how she was sittingon the cill, looking out at the snow and jsut purring..... but that is enough about a crazy lady talking about her cat... hahaha . hmm oh here i go again.... last night i made the kewlest painting ... it is my had in the mirror and it;s refectuion ... almost every one of the colors alone discust me compleatly.. they are like gros grens and yellowy and black ish.. but when they are put together,. it makes a beautful contrast of light and shadow... and contrast of colors.... wonderful.. i aslo finished this crazy writter painting.. with a black backl ground and very bright un,ixed colorin on top of it.... and haha my rendition on the van goha 's " starry night" as a birthday gift for jen ,,.. thanks to ashley on the help of what i should paint... haha your a keeper* wink * i really don;t know what i mean by that .. but i luv ya , hehehe
you know what i hate.. i will alwyas think of the kewlest things... but forget to write them down .. and then they are gone dissapeared into the vacume of my mind forever... it's funny. when i was making juice this mornng. ym mind was all like phylosophocal kida.. like you know how when yo think in your head it;s liek you are talking to yourself without saying any words.. well the voice in my head was sounding very dramatic and poetic and sophicticated.... all while i was making juice... haha
O nicole.. remember that sometime we have to watch three to tango.. perhaps i will bring it to school one day and we can watch it in our spare je ne sais pas.. i really hope it is a snow day today i am soo fucken tired... but the hitch is i am too tired to sleep figure out how that works... just like when you are sick or w/e and you havent eaten but you arn;t hungry at all beauce you haven;t eaten ... garh( hmm thats new) i have blabed on enough .... i will find something eles to occupy my time , until i find whats shaken today ..... good morning to you all ,.
p.s. work tonighty should be sweet .. no one is gonna be there.

......................................................................................................................................

there's not much left to love
tootired today to hate
I feel the empty
I feel the minute of decay
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
the minute that it's born
it begins to die
I'd love to just give in,
I'd love to live this lie
I've been to black and back
I've whited out my name
a lack of pain, a lack of hope,
a lack of anything to say
there is no cure for what is killing me
I'm on my way down
I've looked ahead and saw a
world that's dead
I guess that I am too

don't fret precious i'm here

today at school was fine... i might have slept through most of first block....*shifty eyes* then other classes where easy, in my spare nicole and i went to the bucks and sipped some super stuff.... yea aliteration ... oh and watched queen of the damned that was fun , even thought it displeases me somewhat ... vampiers are still vampires.. which is up there in my books. apres l'ecole, j'alle chaque ma maison ... and was inspired to paint... so i started on one of my big canvases.. so far i am enjoying it... a bit stuck on the backl ground but i don;t have to work tomorrow so i can paint, woot woot ummm work was ok not too busy ... eww i had to be the greeter fior and hour!!! yuck . hmm oh and we had this clean sweap thing where we all got duster things and whoever 's was the dirtiest won a prize. i got 3rd and won a fancy note pad thing. back home now eating quick cerial and muse ing... umm gah ok there is this thing at work called items per hour .. and whenever i have the highest they never have the meeting notes so they don't mention it at the meeting *tear* i knwo its not a big deal , but it is nice to have a liitle recognition . sigh . hmmm what to put in the back gorund of this painting. i wonder if a black and white effectwoulr work mmm it would definatly contrast the color gah .. tomorrow. i've always wanted to have some of my art in display in a galary... i wonder if i could hook that up........ hmm lisa is sleepy .. merry christmas to all and to all a good night ...
........................................................
" you look so precious now "

a bit of deep thought

so it is my spare block.... first day back at school and nicole, ashkley and i jut finished a pack of popcorn chicken, then ash and nicole went to get a knife.... but yea hmmmm i had this thought that was all like... " i'm an epifany" which is like the most obviouse thing in the world. so here it goes.. life is meaningless. hahaha but we give it meaning by giving value to things like love and friendsship HAHAHAHA intereupting tought hahaha who cares about the meanings of life... so donni ash nicole and i somehow started talking about pregnancy then somehow .. i think donni.. said it would be weird if you gave birth to mice... then mr fyling said it would we weird if you gave birth to tiny kangergoos . hahahaha there was much laughting involved. anyways i have soo lost what i was talking about... my epiphany IT'S GONE . o well the thought of giving birth to tiny kamgaroos will live with me forever........

woot woot

haha so i was in the tub... and it dawned on me that in like possibly less than a month ball is going to be starting up.. that is sooooo exciting! ahah i've come up with some weird thoughts while taking a bath .. aha not too long ago i thought of the sweetest painting, but i don't think i am that good at painting to do it justice.. so it must wait haha. gauh back to school tomorow.. WOW somehow i just got the biggest craving for sweet and sour pork ... mmmmmy house coat is soo fuzzy.... random .... oh dear have to get up at 745 ish... i best be giong to bed... hmm perhaps a snack first..........
"So crucify the ego before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical..........
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable

last glimps of freedom

I still cannot belive that it has gone by soooo fast!!, i have to go to school tomorrow, it's unfortunate. i waisted soo much time ... there was so much i could have done. o well. ahaha so when i started this i has something to write but now i don't remember ...... umm of yea , hahaha i had the wreirdest dream. we were doing some play a shakespear.. and i was covering somone's part... but then when it was show night i forgot all my lines and evern what my whole speach think was about , haha so brianna drove to my locker and got a script fr me ,, but it was no use cus my scene was on like righr away .. and then i didn'thave a costume on so i threw on this ungly white dress thing. haha but i still had my street shoes on , hahaha. oh yea but the person beside me had these lines written out on a paper on the floor for me .. but i couldn't read it cas i needed my glasses. and i was just going off about somethign then mr anderson steped in and saved me... he was in the play to playing and old man or somthign . haha i dunno . i was so uneasy though the whole time.. and it soooo weird that i would have a dream like that . cuz i am not a person who normally get stage fright. haha then there was this other part where i remember havign this part and these people got ummm body paint on the carpet and i was like fuck my mom is gonna kill me . haha i dunno thats alll i can remember of myweird dream.
hmm anywho yesterrday my cousins came over and we played wizard then , poker, then we went swimming for an hour haha we though it would be open forlonger ok , i forgot how much i hate pool water... it makes my skin feel grose. hmm then i went to james's and watched someof the 3rd harry potter , but my face was bugging me and it was 1 30 so i decided it was time to go home. thats really all that is up,.. and it's not even interesing . maybe today somethign fun will happen . i still need to meet soemnew people,.. its to bad lots of my friends(including me ) are to youge for the bar and pubs and stuff. i dunno .. ahah aoh and if any of my friends read this hehee it's not that i don;t l;ove you hahaha i just fine it very exciting to get to know someone new... hahah ya know when you make a new frriend and then like you talk about them just cuz like all this new information is fresh in your head.. and like i dunno hahaha, new experiences i guess. o well haha good day to you all ........................................................................................lisa

"She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men"

mmm chocolate...

hehehe my mom braught me ferrero rocher;s from work hahah , they are soooo yummy, love them ahah but anyways i am quite tired hahah , will be nice to sleep in my own bed not that jens bed wasn;t comfty last night hahaha , but the petit dylhan elbowed me in the face and stole the blankets... doubt i will share my bed with him agian hahaha, so today is the first day of 2005 ,,, thats kinda a scary thought, hahaha time flys eh , back to school in afew day s.. yuck,.. played some poker today that was good, fun haha , i'm not very good, i supose itwould help if i knew what could beat other things but whatever.... my toes are cold *tear* my leg warmers do nothing . o well hmmm think think think oh so i decided that i realy realy don;t like cold weather..( not that i did anyways.. summer rocker,,, skank tops and whore shorts& thumbs up , smile with sparkle* ) i was trying to leave joshes.. and the lock on my car was frozen... i couldn;t evern get the key in ,, and my car is horrible in slippy roads... *shaking fist * stupid car haha o well i supose i shouldn;t complain tooo much ,,. damn it this was suposed to be short i'm tired and am in need of sleep ... *sigh * i am toren , tired yet wanting to paint, ... sleep wins .. haha but then agian i can;t eat chocoalte while i am sleeping.

I"m a million different things
and not one you know

hey, and we love the abuse
Because it makes us feel like we are needed now
...
We used to love ourselves, we used to love another
...
'Cause it's so lonely I feel like I have died
I thought angels never learned to say goodbye

Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight sky, goodnight to the cold air which freezes m tears before they are born. chills my skin and makes me numb... i don't need to feel... not now... goodnight