I'm wide awake the more I sleep

the time .. 5:25.. i have been awake scince 3:30 and woke once an hour before that... total sleep maybe 3 hours... why i cannot sleep i do not know... but i woke up to get a drink... twice i guess .. have not been able to sleep since i pray that there is no school today becuase i do not belive that i would be able to function.. though i would be able to show lind my painting , get my drawing from mrs haaf, and ask about creating a resume type dealyo to send to B2B to possibly get som work experience.. haha wouldn't that be swell.... oh god ya see that .. i must be tired i used the adgective swell.BUt any who what t to write this early in themoring, haha nothign much has happened ... i did make juice in the dark... although i supose that it wasn;t entirely dark... the snow iluminated everythign quite nicly... actaulyl the first time i woke and looked out of my front room window, i was moved and wanted a picuter but sadly my camera is shit y taking picuteres of snow in the dark.... so imust be commited for memory... gah ... i thoguh that perhaps i would paint it gah , i am sorry for all of you that have to endure my ramblings about painting but it is indeed one of my greatest passions... funnly enough i never did it much intil after a certain relationship was ended... ahaha boyfriends must take up too much time . who needs them... well .. gah << that is sooo my sound for the week. hahaha just thismorning i realized how much i like me cat... she has so much character,.. last night we played tag.. it's very cute... she will chase me then i will turn around reallty quick on her and she will get scared and her tail gets all puffy. theni chase her.. and the game progresses.. but as i was saying before,. this morning i came down stairs and sat in the front room .. jsut to look at the snow. and i hear this little jingle... it is my kitten ( she has a bell on her collar) she comes and sits with me .. i pet her she ( she does this most tof thetime) she will lick your had to show her apriciation as well as purr( i'm sure most cats will mostlys do this) .. then she got up and jumped to the window cill( i dunno if thats how you spell it ... it kinda looks funny .) and she scratched her cheeks on this glass thing that my mom had sitting there,so smart... i dunno it is silly but iwas also cute how she was sittingon the cill, looking out at the snow and jsut purring..... but that is enough about a crazy lady talking about her cat... hahaha . hmm oh here i go again.... last night i made the kewlest painting ... it is my had in the mirror and it;s refectuion ... almost every one of the colors alone discust me compleatly.. they are like gros grens and yellowy and black ish.. but when they are put together,. it makes a beautful contrast of light and shadow... and contrast of colors.... wonderful.. i aslo finished this crazy writter painting.. with a black backl ground and very bright un,ixed colorin on top of it.... and haha my rendition on the van goha 's " starry night" as a birthday gift for jen ,,.. thanks to ashley on the help of what i should paint... haha your a keeper* wink * i really don;t know what i mean by that .. but i luv ya , hehehe
you know what i hate.. i will alwyas think of the kewlest things... but forget to write them down .. and then they are gone dissapeared into the vacume of my mind forever... it's funny. when i was making juice this mornng. ym mind was all like phylosophocal kida.. like you know how when yo think in your head it;s liek you are talking to yourself without saying any words.. well the voice in my head was sounding very dramatic and poetic and sophicticated.... all while i was making juice... haha
O nicole.. remember that sometime we have to watch three to tango.. perhaps i will bring it to school one day and we can watch it in our spare je ne sais pas.. i really hope it is a snow day today i am soo fucken tired... but the hitch is i am too tired to sleep figure out how that works... just like when you are sick or w/e and you havent eaten but you arn;t hungry at all beauce you haven;t eaten ... garh( hmm thats new) i have blabed on enough .... i will find something eles to occupy my time , until i find whats shaken today ..... good morning to you all ,.
p.s. work tonighty should be sweet .. no one is gonna be there.

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there's not much left to love
tootired today to hate
I feel the empty
I feel the minute of decay
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
the minute that it's born
it begins to die
I'd love to just give in,
I'd love to live this lie
I've been to black and back
I've whited out my name
a lack of pain, a lack of hope,
a lack of anything to say
there is no cure for what is killing me
I'm on my way down
I've looked ahead and saw a
world that's dead
I guess that I am too