Tuesday, April 26, 2005

These sunglasses are to dark...

... i can't see the sun today. my happy mood depleated... there isn't much to say. a silly little incident, it drained my good mood dry... some one knock me out of it...it feels like I could cry. I feel the tears are welling, i choke to hold them back. don't know why i feel so sad... happiness under attack.

so this is compleatly ridiculouse... i feel soo sad today... like at any moment i could start to cry.. it all started yesterday when the boys( spencer and tayler) where over.. they play crocano while i dyed my hair... when i was letting it set i came in to visit them.. got soem cheese ans crackers and offered them whatever they liked... they where difficult. so i leave and come back and they are laughing and they won't tell me what .. it really bugged me fore seom reason ... it was as if they where makeing fun of me behind my back while i was there... so i went to finish my hair and all the time i was just stewing... my disadisfaction escilating...when i returned they where all quiet , as if they knew that had annoyed me and where trying to be all nice " your hair looks nice " mmhmm i dunno about you but i don't wanna hear compliments when i am in a bad mood.. especially when they sound kinda forced. augh .. it's not their fault they just kinda pushed whats was already there becuase earlier at baseball michells was being such a power hungry bitch. the first drill we did she just couldn't be pleased.. we had to do push-ups when we didn't yell loud enough.. and missed a cover.. or a throw.. just so you know.. if you don;t already my mouth is all screwed up right now.. the skin around it is all dry and hurting and my lips are cracked. i cannot ( or at least could not yesterday) open my like at all.. like it hurt to eat anything cuz i would have to open my mouth .. so you can imagine that it is hard to yell.. also, i'm getting sick so my throat is all buggered.. quess who got to do push ups... she said for me to yell louder... told her i couldn't my mmouth was all buggered .. so have to do pushups cuz i am making up excuses .. does she thing that i am lieing to piss her of.. i know she is in a bitchy mood why would i wanna anger her firther... it;s not the fact that i had to do pushups that bugged me it's the fact that she didn't even think to believe what i was saying... so the rest of the night i was kinda ticked off... yea be had to do abunch more pushups and she yelled abunch more... so you see it's not that the boys did anything bad... they just havebad timing... so i am in this shitty mood and i get to have rehearsal and work... wonder what tomorrow will be like

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