look around ....

ever feel kinda tossed aside, cuz something better came along... yup i'm kinda down right now... it was silly but it made me sad. i hate akward moments also.. your all like what do i do? *sigh* i'm also bummed about shane taking my idea for mr A using it as his own.. yea yea yea i know none of you care, but it was what i wanted to do for him, my gift, i had it all planned out then out fo no where it gets snached away from you... make you feel violated. trust me if it happened to you .. you would be just as dissapointed.. what i give is all i got... kinda.. now i need to think of somethign eles... DAMN IT ... i'm so not happy anymore... i just wanna curl up in a ball and lock myself away... stupid moods , i know it's not really true but it feels like no one would ever notice....

"look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares "
well katie P might.. i am doing props with her.. it is going to be super fun but i can;t even be excited any more... i should be fucking jumping wit joy.. i have one more day of highschool left and today is fucked becuase of two stupid things that shouldn't matter... but.. it is the little things that count.. thats what gets me.. * sigh*
augh.. i better cheer up befor nicole and ash mo get here... i'm helping them make things .. and i have to make things.. and food and go to work and finish journals and resume.... i duno how i will get it all done.... feels like my suport left me... i'm just being stupid..sometimes i hate myself.

somedays i hate myself..
someday i hate you
i know there are many days
when you probably hate me too

some how i see through all the good
and focas on that bad
it usually happends on the days
i'm feeling really sad

there's no one here to comfort
they've all forgotten me today
i'll sit alone till i'm over this
and then be on my way

does it seem like nothing bothers me?
i'm not really made of stone
sure it's nice once in a while
but i hate to be alone

please remember...
though i'm smiling on the surface
i'm crying deep within
my heart isnt breaking
thats how its always been