wasting time

Have you ever.

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends
(X) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) eaten Sushi
(X) been skiing
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake
(X) touched a snake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
( ) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
(x ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart
(X) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swam in the ocean
(x ) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently coloured with crayons
(X) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't do
( ) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) gone roller skating
( ) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( x) ate dog/cat food
(x ) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x ) sat on a roof top
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours?
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(X) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(X) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
(X) played chicken
( ) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x ) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
(X) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(X) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house

so yes... unfortunatly that took up less time than was needed to we wasted... so here is what is going on with lisa... i have been commision by two different people to do are work for them... like omg i'm famouse hahahah mmhmm. on a side fo that.. ace has suggested that he can set up a show for some of my art work at the theatre this yea .. isn;t that very neat... umm whateles is new.. ummi dunno i am going to play magic cards with josh and spencer today . haha omh i'm kewl.. guess iw ill bring settlers to ... everyone say hello to the biggest nerds in the world hahaa.. nah there are probably mre nerdy people than i. for soem reason my whole body aches... i don;t know why ... it is kinda disturbing.. lame.. umm
** la du la di da...*musical interlude*
... i don;t think there is anythign left to say

Camping adventure

Yay for camping.. this was the second trip of the summer for me.. the first being gabriola where i made the best corn on the cob i have ever had in my life... but anyways. yea friday morning i picked ben up and we got food then went to meed josh up at rathtevor.. but found that when we go tthere we could not get a site till 12 30.. so we had to wate around.. no problem .. we played settlers.. then we finally got the site.. we set it up chillen and went for a wlk on the beach .. i made a penis out of sand.... i don;t remember why .. but it was becuase of soemthign josh sais ... ( on a side note: I would want my barnicle to bring me milk and cookies ) andways then i had to go to work. but after work marie was coming to get me and then we had to rush back by 11 so that we didn;t get locked out of the gate.. i didn;t leave work till 10 40 ..we made it there in 10 min ... 10 to spare.
next morning I made bacon and eggs for breakfast... thern was some sitting and magica card playing.. then we( we being the people camping ... me josh caitlin marie ben and chase) all went to play soccer..( dumb idea when it is that hot out.. and it was only 11) played for a bit then went to get soem icea cream up at the store... i decided to walk. josh ben and chase ran and marie and caitling drove . it was kinda like a race... i lost.. but was close to beating marie and caitlin.. i was proud. josh walked back with me and he regailed me with his few drunken stories... I miss that kid. he is so entertaining dispite what he says* sigh*... once returned .. THE BEACH .. we made a sand "castle" and when i say "castle" i mean we dug a hole built walls around it and dug a mote.. and waited for the water to come itn.... ok so it started out all fine then for soem reason josh and ben decided to start their own hole and it became a contest... so marie caitlin and i where building out "castle" and then boys where digging a hole.. apparently it was bette than our ppsh ... and wel chase just stood aournd... andways .. it was fun.. i was inside when all the watch came in . tehe ../
then after the beach ... dun dundun.. i had a shower.... that was very cold and the water had to much pressure so it like hurt.. antways.. then food and chilling and settlers and magic cards... eventually we got to playing strippoker I started loosing right away.. i don;t knwo why i always wanna play ahaha i'm so bad at poker.. anyways at the end... marie chase and I were compleatly naked.. caitlin had her underwear left. ben was in his boxers but he had won lots of chips so i;m sure he could have baught back some clothes and josh had only lost his shirt.
this morning i made a green deck adn we packed all our stuff... went that was done adn joshs dad was there.. we started to play a game of magic but got kicked out of the site...
the whole time well generallty we where kinda worried taht the "ranger" would find out we had more than 4 people camping on the site( 4 was the max for one site... ) ahah especially when we where playing strip poker and the greater number of us where fairly naked

now i work tonight.. then have 4 days off. then work friday .. then next sunday ( the 14th ) and then once more on friday (19th ) then i have 3 weeks off. at least i should ... if anyone wants to go camping.. call me.. i can make really good corn on the cob.. i also have a camp site the we prety much don;t have to pay for .. and is secluded and sweet. peace out....... hate in . hahaha i dunno where that came from.. it;s pretty lame .. but w.e

lisa life up date

soo i am sitting here on this friday evening.. it;s a nice night out.. the events of the past week goes as follows:
- seussical shows go very well. castparty is fairly decent.
- 5 people show up to take down the set. lame... i recruit spencer then take him out to brunch as a reward
- lisa works 3 days in a row and decided she has had enough..... calls in sick next day which is convinient becuase she can now go to rasmus's good by party.. rum is my new favorite.. i had a delightful time
- skipping back to wednesdays , spencer takes me out to dinner as repayment for brunch* shrug* then we watch lord of the rings " return of the king" which i believe that i haven;t watch ... turns out i on;y didn;t see tha last 20 mintutes... o well
- ashleyu slept over tursday night.. so friday morning we proceed to mal to get soem school finacial buisness done... lisa is excited to go to school in fall
- lisa and ashley the proceed to go get lisa's ear peirced.. i am now 105$ poorer but oh that much more fasionable.. haha i now have a rook peircing it looks sweet i like it... it didn;t hurt but there was a horrible crunching noise.... ask ashley about my face... ahahaha
- went to the lake... somehow it magically got clouddy and i couldn;t swimm anyways cuz the lake was gross for my ear.. we decided no-one eles would come so we left.. afew min after leaving will calls me
- once i am home fore about 20 min.. i get a call from nolan... he is at the lake... silly boys.. just can;t show up on time.. anyways..
- been chillaxen with spencer. haha looking through my year books good times..
- tomorrow will probably go to my family reunion and stay the night.. ahaha will probably drag spencer along so i do;t have to interact with my family... i find it akward talking to people that i don;t remember but remember me.. haha i well...

this concludes my week overview... thanks for watching *heart* lisa

a good night

hehe so all day i was tired...just lack of motivation or w/e , and then i got to work and everytign worked out nicely.. and i got everythign done.. and on my break i baught the fragile.. as NIN cd.( sooo excited to see them btw) and then i find out that i am getting a raise...! nice and i am hungry so spencer and i are going on a search for food,.. i want pizza but ia bout i wil find it

i wrote a sweet poem... if youi care for that kid of stuff please read and enjoy
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/20483068/

anyways i'm out ... need food

july 6th

my heart hurts
i'm so tired i could faint
i think i feel dizzy
from the fumes of tha paint.

one more night of work
then three days of rest
i know out of anyone
i'll use this time best

been listening to seusse
now there is rhyme in my head
now your reading my post
to see what ive said.

so thats enough of the rhyming.. i had another verse lined up.. but i couldn;t finishit... so it got cut. umm arts alive is going great who ville is done. just the jungle left,shane and i have pretty much done it all .. oh and tom our little helper hahaha it;s neat getting to know him again kinda.. i dunno it;s weird. um umum... yea like i mention is my little poem after tonight i get 3 days off of work .. that will be a nice break seeing as at the moement i am compleatl drained... i might have to stay till 10 30 in stead of 9 30 .. which woul dbe lame.. but umm.. no it;s jsut lame... tomorow going to seee war of the world with spencer... that should be neat. augh... soo tired... i could sure use like a massage ..*cough cough*.. any takers??*wink wink * augh.. :P umm it seems a little surpressed now but there where people who where all grr and i dunno ya try and help and give advice when people ask... but then they don;t take it... i dunnoi guess i shouldn't bother to much with other people's lives.. takes to much energy... which i have none of right now.. i don;t even really know if my sentance makes sence becuase i stopped half way through and then started again withough readin it.

sometimes i feel a little alone, but othe times as if i'm all that matters in the world.. thats a nice feeling, even if sometimes i don;t think i deserve it. i like everyone to know they are appriciated even if i'm not. people's misconseptions bother me... it's really not how they think. something more but something less, quite possibly a mess. damn that doctor suess and his rhryming technique. there is no way i can fight this , i'm just feeling to weak. so here is the conclusion to my story of the day.you've seen afew thoughts in an interesting way . this is not much time left , i'm sorry to say , but i must go to work. will post again another day

grad u ma ation

so grad today .. neat... umm yea it;s been 13 years... yea next year going for 4 more... what a waste of time hahaha. o well. dry grad will be neat , i've decided that i am going to win one of the big cash prizes that would please me... hmm guess i should get ready soon.. augh school at 10 30 .. for sandwiches i won;t like... free food never works out for me.there is always to many veggies. or weird sauces.* shuddter*
tomorrow is canada way .. I will probably sleep through alot of it. as i am stayng up all nght.. then i am going to a party at my cousin dawns house.. btw if anyone reads this in time and wants they can come.. just ya know ask me about it.. should be fun. umm yea i am le hungry so i think i will make a scrambled egg sandwich .. yumm hehehe





p.s. I am le here...
please don't forget

look around ....

ever feel kinda tossed aside, cuz something better came along... yup i'm kinda down right now... it was silly but it made me sad. i hate akward moments also.. your all like what do i do? *sigh* i'm also bummed about shane taking my idea for mr A using it as his own.. yea yea yea i know none of you care, but it was what i wanted to do for him, my gift, i had it all planned out then out fo no where it gets snached away from you... make you feel violated. trust me if it happened to you .. you would be just as dissapointed.. what i give is all i got... kinda.. now i need to think of somethign eles... DAMN IT ... i'm so not happy anymore... i just wanna curl up in a ball and lock myself away... stupid moods , i know it's not really true but it feels like no one would ever notice....

"look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares "
well katie P might.. i am doing props with her.. it is going to be super fun but i can;t even be excited any more... i should be fucking jumping wit joy.. i have one more day of highschool left and today is fucked becuase of two stupid things that shouldn't matter... but.. it is the little things that count.. thats what gets me.. * sigh*
augh.. i better cheer up befor nicole and ash mo get here... i'm helping them make things .. and i have to make things.. and food and go to work and finish journals and resume.... i duno how i will get it all done.... feels like my suport left me... i'm just being stupid..sometimes i hate myself.

somedays i hate myself..
someday i hate you
i know there are many days
when you probably hate me too

some how i see through all the good
and focas on that bad
it usually happends on the days
i'm feeling really sad

there's no one here to comfort
they've all forgotten me today
i'll sit alone till i'm over this
and then be on my way

does it seem like nothing bothers me?
i'm not really made of stone
sure it's nice once in a while
but i hate to be alone

please remember...
though i'm smiling on the surface
i'm crying deep within
my heart isnt breaking
thats how its always been

i like chips

thats right .. i'm eating some right now.... umm just about to go to bed,,, thought i would write a little something somethign ahaha .. i had a free day today .. no ball or work ,, woot woot.. so i spent the time after school dying soem suits for my pay and braiding 50 foot umbilical cords... it takes like 30 min to do one.. i still have one left btw.. augh .. spencer came and helped me.. then we went and visited ashmo.. and then spencer and i hun out.. haha i went to save on and baught marichino cherries.. they are yummy ummm yea i dunno 9 more days of school left can;t wait till it;s over.. year end actig show comming up excited for that.. and gonoriah... that it gonna be fun ahah OH AND ASH MO"S B_DAY . haha i can;t wait to give her her gifty.. i hope she likes it... anyways off to bed for lisa...

I tried, I Gave up..

..After everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become...
thank you
I *heart* you







i don't understand how you put up with me


...i'm not worth the second thought




... but i guess don't mind

deaylo

I AM: Sorry for the stupid things i have done
I WILL ALWAYS: be there
I MISS: being the one you talk to
I SMELL: like vanilla
I CRAVE: attention
I WORRY: about everything way to much
I REGRET: only afew things in my past
I LOVE: to paint... and eat
I SLIGHTLY: hate myself
I DANCE: like an idiot in my car
I SING: along to musicals
I CANT STAND: for long periods of time without falling over
I LOST: my best friend
I LIKE: to be kissed
I LISTEN: when you need to talk
I CAN BE FOUND:if you care to look for me
I NEED: to know what people are thinking... and what time it is
I KNOW THAT: your upset
I HOPE: I can help
I WANT: to be happy
I AM ALWAYS: overanalizing
I CRY: when i mean it
I FELL: unapriciated... looked over.. forgotten ....unimportant.. out of the loop .. by everyone except one person
I WILL: continue on like i always do
I WONT: stop caring and trying to make people happy
I THINK: too much for my own good
I SHOULD: resist
I COULD: do more
I WOULD: go swimming if it was summer
I DIDNT: think
I LOOK: different to myself than everyone eles
I HEAR: the lawn mower
I HURT: more than i show
I HATE: some of the things i do , how i act sometimes and not being able to make decisions
I FEAR: being alone
I DONT: know all the answers
I FEEL: ...loved
I CARE: what my friends really think about me
I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO: satify my cravings
I HIDE: behind a mask
I WRITE: quotes or poems to help me think
I PLAY: on swings
I LEARN: something new everyday
I WILL BE: recognized.. one day
I SAY: stupid things that dont make any sence
I DONT THINK: people know who i really am
I LOVE TO: be with people.. even if it;s just sitting listening to music
I ALWAYS: wonder
I HAVE: needs
I BELIEVE: in myself... most of the time
I NEVER: thought it could happen

you make me feel alive again and wanted for the first.... when did you cast this spell upon me, please say that it will never end..... tell me anyways

place your hands upon me.. I am soft
I don't bite......
.. Unless you want me to....
unexplainable dilema... the want and the know....or..unknown......I am my own defeat and you my saviour
..don't stop rescuing me....

These sunglasses are to dark...

... i can't see the sun today. my happy mood depleated... there isn't much to say. a silly little incident, it drained my good mood dry... some one knock me out of it...it feels like I could cry. I feel the tears are welling, i choke to hold them back. don't know why i feel so sad... happiness under attack.

so this is compleatly ridiculouse... i feel soo sad today... like at any moment i could start to cry.. it all started yesterday when the boys( spencer and tayler) where over.. they play crocano while i dyed my hair... when i was letting it set i came in to visit them.. got soem cheese ans crackers and offered them whatever they liked... they where difficult. so i leave and come back and they are laughing and they won't tell me what .. it really bugged me fore seom reason ... it was as if they where makeing fun of me behind my back while i was there... so i went to finish my hair and all the time i was just stewing... my disadisfaction escilating...when i returned they where all quiet , as if they knew that had annoyed me and where trying to be all nice " your hair looks nice " mmhmm i dunno about you but i don't wanna hear compliments when i am in a bad mood.. especially when they sound kinda forced. augh .. it's not their fault they just kinda pushed whats was already there becuase earlier at baseball michells was being such a power hungry bitch. the first drill we did she just couldn't be pleased.. we had to do push-ups when we didn't yell loud enough.. and missed a cover.. or a throw.. just so you know.. if you don;t already my mouth is all screwed up right now.. the skin around it is all dry and hurting and my lips are cracked. i cannot ( or at least could not yesterday) open my like at all.. like it hurt to eat anything cuz i would have to open my mouth .. so you can imagine that it is hard to yell.. also, i'm getting sick so my throat is all buggered.. quess who got to do push ups... she said for me to yell louder... told her i couldn't my mmouth was all buggered .. so have to do pushups cuz i am making up excuses .. does she thing that i am lieing to piss her of.. i know she is in a bitchy mood why would i wanna anger her firther... it;s not the fact that i had to do pushups that bugged me it's the fact that she didn't even think to believe what i was saying... so the rest of the night i was kinda ticked off... yea be had to do abunch more pushups and she yelled abunch more... so you see it's not that the boys did anything bad... they just havebad timing... so i am in this shitty mood and i get to have rehearsal and work... wonder what tomorrow will be like

thanks cupcake

soo i'm happy, but worried at the same time... digging myself in a hole again, but once you've started digging you don;t wanna stop cuz you like the hole.. it;s nice and cozy and protects you .... sometimes you go to deep ...and you can;t get out.

" listen to my muscle memory"

" I want what I want"

"nothing seems to satisfy, I don't want it , I just need it "

The Road of desire goes both ways ...

omg ... creepy

ou are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.

You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.

HOLY CRAP... its scrary how these things work out someimes...

i knew it.....

How evil are you?

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

i don;t think there are words to describe how i feel right now... i hate myself. i'm sorry beyond belief... sorry doesn;t even beguin to describe how i feel i betrayed you. i'm stupid. i should have known... i should know by now not to trust myself. i know for sure. tomorow is going to be hard. i know it.... i can;t think of anythign to do to show you ... i hate myself.. i'm stupid. i want forgivness , but do i deserve it ... i hate myself ...

HOLY COW

aha chill laura chill.. hahaha yea so it;s been like about a billion years scince ihave posted anything but i;v ebeen busy with stuff and stuff. perhaps i will have more time nwo that festival is almost over adn i don;t have math . miahaha thats right i am a slacker and got out of math.. ok so it is saturday .. i worked all day and am uber exaused.. umm yesterday i also worked and then went to tidy;s that was fun .. interesting stories... hahaha um the day before that .. thursday it was my birthday .. super duper super..umm yea .. so i can do stuff....like vote..and buy porn... umm lets see lets see. i made the sweetest tree omg it;s so amazing.. i made it for the festival play. umm i also designed the shirts... theya re soo sweet it is gonan be an amzasing show . we had a reheearsal this morning and we went thoguht the whole show... it;s a very emotional production i was so excited to see the last scene.. the mute scene omg i take credit for that,,, my idea hahaha ,, watch everyone will forget ,,, it';s most likley just in my head, but it seems to me that i do these relly kewl things or accomplishsomethign and eveyone kinda brushes it off . it makes me feel crappy, i guess i would like more attentuon .. i dunno *sigh* ummm yea i am lost and no so much sure what to write.. sooo i wil end here .... the end

Personality Disorder Test

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

just do it :P

Dried up, tied up and dead to the world

soo it is wednesday. i'm a sicky ... i doubt that i have done and thign productive scince ... saturday when i hung out with ash and her bro.... hmm ok maybe thats a lie i went to work monday night..... but i came home earlie... it was horrible i has to do switch board .. it was the worst thing in the world... you don't knwo much i hate phones.... andways oh i went to company yestyerday ... so i guess i did 2 semi productive things.....hm and 1 productive thing... i forgot about my provinical exam on mom morning.. geeze... i'm not doing so well in the remembering department... i have to work todaty and tomorrow... i hate having the day off then working at night it makes me feel liek there isn o time to do anything but sit around. and I have so accomplished that.... been painting... can't wait to start next semester... i should make sure my calculator is good and running... i hope it doesn't have cancer :S umm umm umm i wish i wasn't sick i wanna hangout with people. i wanna do somethe crazy and fun. i want it to be summer...i have come to the conclusion that i am a compulsive eater.. no a good thing... it distresses me, gah ..

i wonder if anyone fun is working tonight or if it will be busy....hmmm. i'm sorry to those how might be reading this though i doubt that there are many if any... but there is not actauly content contained in this particular blog... merely the whiney ramblings of a lisa... next week .. drawing and painting.. hey i think ash is in my class nifty... perhaps with guiadance i will produce some work that satisfies me. not that I think that work i produce is bad but i want to do better... creat somethign amazing.. i need to be inpired.... work on my details ... expiriment with more colors... just improve.. mmmmm my house coat is soo fuzzy .it;s 4 50 and i haven;t gotten dresses yet how pathetic is that ...

why do i never take myself seriously.... i say some of the stupodest things ive heard... i dunno i guess i do it for comedic effect but to other people inderstand what it is rather than what i appears to be... i doesn;t really matter i guess... Gah i've had enought of this....