Wednesday, April 12, 2006

It breaks my heart...

remembering how things used to be. not that it could be changed , i couldn;t see me in any other place right now. but it still breaks my heart to remember all the friends i left behind. they are all gone save for one, who thank go won;t let me go.
i went to coffee tonight with spencer, the last of my close friends that i used to have. which was fine until ashley and jenn and nathan came. ashley used to be my very best friend and now i can;t even talk to her. before tongiht i don;t remember the last time i talked to her, but i am sure that iwas an akward encounter. you know those friends where you can tell what they are thinking before they evern say anyhtign , you can just look at each other and know... well that used to be us. and now i don;t even know what to say. it makes me so sad. i started crying on the way home because, i just felt so lost and outca st.*sigh* I'm not saying that i dont' like the people i know now, i guess i just want to feel closer to more of them. i have kylan and he is great, i just wish i was closer to more peopel i guess.
i dunno what i am saying anymore. sometimes even though i am in a big group of people i feel so alone because no one really knows me( except for kylan) because no one ever listens.
i dunno , i guess it doesn;t matter, and things wont; really change unless i change, and make people listen... cuz people are just inconciderate.
i think thats all
p.s. fuck doing my essay tonight
p.p.s thank you klyan and spencer for reminding me that i matter to someone

8 comments:

Ky said...

you dont need to thank me for being there for you, i will always be there and be happy to be there, i dont think anybody truly thinks you have anything to say worth hearing. those people are stupid and have not discovered how wonderful you are and caring and sweet. spencer and i both know these things and we both care for you very much and would do anything for you.

Joe Guitar said...

We both wrote nobody cares and feeling lonely in a crowd blogs...weird. I like you tons Lisa. I wanna be closer with people too I don't know why we're all so distant.

Laura said...

hey lisa.
your post made (is making) me cry.
i hope you know that i'm here for you, and i miss you guys so much... and i'm so scared to come home to realize who's really my friend, and is still there for me.
i hope you will be there, as i will be for you.
i still consider you a wonderful friend, and even though we've been apart for 8 months, i hope things are the same when i come home.

Kate Patrick said...

Hey Lisa!

I havent talked to you in forever and ever and ever, but hopefully we can hang out in the summer when I get home (which is very, very soon)

I'm slightly worried that I wont really fit in with the high school gang either. I lost contact with some many people.

I cant wait to see you this summer! - Katie P

Pineapple Princess! said...

Hey lisa... I really do know how youre feeling. its strange that right now so many people are feeling lonely, even when surrounded by all of their friends.

losing people is tough. It seems to happen a lot right after high school, and during college.

I, for one, am always happy to see you, and wish I saw you more often.

Queen of Hearts said...

thanks guys, hopfefully we can all hang out in the summer or something, get to gether more .. i dunno

Dan said...

so ummm you may have forgotten........................but im awesome. Yeah, its like that. Don't worry, I'll always be dan, the guy who remember when you were absolutely crazy and thought you were a cat. Because I've known you since forever. P.S. if I seemed weird when I saw you at save-on, its because I was about to fall over from tiredness. Im like that alot lately, don't get much sleep. It wasn't because I was like "shit its lisa.......and she still smells weird" got it? good

VivaLaPinto said...

Lisa, I think you are wonderful. I really admire you, and wish I could be like you in a lot of ways. I don't know how much that helps, but I hope it does. :)