snow day adventure

sooo today was another snow day which was sweet. yesterday was too so meghan , kaitlyn , kylan gregoire and lee came overand watched movies ans stuff. twas pretty sweet. anyways whats really important is the awesome igloo for things that me meghan kylan and kaityln made.
dudud also been doing my art project which is a self portrate and someother things . it looks pretty good.

dududu tomorrow i get to have my wisdom teethout... sweet augh.
as much as i like the snow i am glad that the snow is going...lalala
i will post better later i just want to put a pic on for my profile.. dududud

What to do

what to do. blog woo who... woo...yea..... ... great
umm wow snow is fun. hung out a bit with lee kaitlyn kylan and michelle. school today. umm went to go hang out with spencer watched black afew episodes of black adder. umm .. and now i am home. i dunno what to do now, if i have some paper i coulf start on my art project, but i probably wont. coul dhave a bath and read then go to bed early. or hmm nope thats probably it. i wanted tp up date my post for a while but now that i am i dunno what to say or don;t really feel like describing. so i'll go do whatever and maybe be back to fix it.


This is a picture that was taken and given to me another time that it snowed... notice the heart snowflake.. pretty eh
is this a test? I hope that i pass

Damn you waking up early*shakes fist *

so i woke up early lame. i am fighting a cold or throat thing or soemthing. and when i sleep stuff build up in my throat and then i cna;t breath..... so i have to get up .. lame..
also. my cat comes into my room everymorning at the same time. last nighti was smart and left it open a bit so i wouln;t have to get up, but i woke up and couldn;t breath and had to anyways...lame

so i am wasting time here is my 100

1. i have lived my whole life in nanaimo
2. in two different houses
3. I cannot wait to have my own place
4. i am afraid to movie all the way to calgary.
5.i don;t actually like my name, i think its boring.
6. my favorite flower is a lily
7. which i have a tatoo of on my left ancle.
8. i drew the design myself, in eliza;s theatre history class
9. i also drew kylans fluer de lis
10. i am almost always cold

11.my slippers are chickens
12. i have a cat named stirfry,. and a beta fish named , little red
13. my mom talks to both of them.
14. cats are my favoite animal
15.I really like playing card games , like canasts, becuase they remind me of when my family used to go camping for two weeks everyyear
16. i love the out doors.
17. i like to go mushroom picking( the legal kind)
18.i love hamocks
19.i would rather be in a cold room wrapped in a blanket than be a comforable temperature.
20. but i like summer better than winter, by far

21. i love it when it rains really hard
22.i think that romanticaly i am a wretch to put up with because i never know what i want, but i think that i am worth it for the most part
23.i have honestly and truly loved two people in my life
24.i love the story of alice in wonder land becuase everone is mad.
25. i have had some of the best friend in the world, but most of them are gone now
26.i have had so many stiches and burned my self so many times that i have lost count
27. i broke my color bone after flipping off my bike trying to carry my ball equipment home.
28. afterwards i went and played football, because i didn;t know. it reall hurt
29. i played fastball for 14 years of my life. 7 of which where played at a very competative level
30. i played 2nd base and was relaly good at it.

31.i don;t know if i have ever felt truly excepted by a group
32. i am always tired, even if i sleep enough.
33. my favorite juice is minut made rasberry juice from concentrate
34. and i always putin more water than i am suposed to , my mom bitches about it hahahaha
35.i only like 5 differnt vegitables. corn brocollie, potaotesm peas and carrots, and sometimes lettic , but only if it's in a ceasaer salad
36.i', really bad at being kewl and trying new things, like foods.. expesially foods
37. i have given blood three times,
38.i am o posiive
39. when i am not lazy. i'm a really good cook
40.i have a realy crazy imagination and freak myself out lots of times

41.my favorite chips used to be old duch BBQ, but now hey giv eme heart burn so i don;t eat themas much
42. now i really like mrs vickies sweet chilie and sour cream
43. i love sweet and sour pork,
44. i have eaten. moose, deer, elk, bear, couger, grouse, rabbit, buffalo, crocodile and dolphin.
45.i like to paint my nails fench maniure stlye
46. i am an artist.
47. my fave thing to by artys about is painting.
48. i have sold many of my paintings and given soem away. if you want none let me know. i do commisioned works :P hahaha.
49. i paint my best most intersting work when i am upset
50. although i want to and know i can, i am scared not to find work in theatre

51.i have a really hard time expaing how i actually feel about things.
52. many times when in a group of people , nobody listens to what i have to say, either they are ignorantof others or to rude and interupt me
53. i pick up after other people.
54. i almost alway take on way more than i should. and it almost kills me
55. but i am still here so it must be fine
56. i want to go bungiee jumping.
57. i can legal handle, shoot, and buy, display firworks( those are the big ones)
58. i have traveled alot. and i really like it
59. however i could never go back packing around europe. i would starve.
60. i used to be really strong but am not so much any more. but i;m still pretty strong

61.i used to never cry
62. my intuition is generally right
63. however i generally override it withthinging and make the wrong choice.
64. i like to randomly do nice things for people
65. but i hate doing things when i am asked forcfully or told
66.i always dream in color and remember what i deam
67.i belive in the supernatural, even though it freaks me out
68. i really like to read
69.some times when i look at myself in the mirro i see differnt versions of myself
70. some of them i think are very beautiful, some are not

71.there are very few people that actually know me, and it makes me sad
72, i don;t have any close girlfriends anymore
73.i love to watch movies
74.a nd eat popcorn with extra butter
75. i suck at math
76. my favorite colors together are navy blue and lime green
77. my favorite fabric is satin
78. i am very good with duct tape.
79.i wish i could spy on people's minds and see what they think about me. so i could get an honest answer
80. i love to cuddle.

81.i have grown up on rum and coke, and straberry daquires
82. in the summer my family will all be haning around sitting in the patio just before diner or something and we will all agree that we should make drinks.. it;s so sweet
83. my parents are awesome, even though my mom is crazy. i am glad that i am parts of them. and i think it is so kewl that i can see those parts, but can also find my own
84. i'm afraid of commitment
85. i like human hearts. they look so kewl
86. i don;t ask for alot
87. i compain less, far far less than my brother wheni am sick
88. i have wondered what it would be like to swirv suddenly on the road or into trafic or off a street onto another street. i wouldn;t so it.. but i have wondered
89. i think i give good advice for the most part
90.i am very trust worthy

91.i love potatoes. especiallymashed with gravy
92. i want to have kids when i am older
93. but the though of being pregnat scares me to death, especially if it was before i was ready
94. i was never invited to many things, or was never thought of to be one of those people that had to be there, so when people specifically invite me to things i feel special
95. i'm kinda a loner
96. when i was younger i used to play magic cards and pokemon... and now i play dnd
97. my brother is writting a book and it is really good so far. i am proud of him
98. i want to do something that will make people remember me
99. i'm a big flirt and i honest to god can't help it, it;s just how i act i really don;t notice
100.. i don;t belive in god. i like since and the theroy of evolution makes sence to me.
p.s billy nye is awesome , he is the reason i like science

well i hope that is intersting enough to read. ahah wow i have to get ready and go to school. eep
LovE

956

afew hundred more to go.. yes it is the dreaded theatre history paper.. that i am fairly sure everyone.. except for meghan is writting today and tomororw. i hate to say it but i really am not taking it so seriously.. i mean leon didn;t even hand out criteria about it so .. yea
my essay will be suficient

not much is new.. i went to the dr yesterday . a specialist and i will be getting suergery sometime .. in afew months maybe?
other than that, the surgery for my teeth is cumming up soon.. yes not this friday but the one after that i will be getting my wisdom teeth out. so i will be all puffy and drugged up for afew days. feel free to visit me . i know that kylan is going to come.

u hmm . yea not alof of event... kylans birthday comming up that should be fun fun fun. dudu
thinks have been decent latly yet kinda blah. i dunno. ya know.. it;s just not what i need rightnow. i'm getting to it.


ummmmm wow i really got nothing. i just felt that i needed to update so i did . go team . hopefully i will come by with some more good stuff to wash away this crappy post..

much love

title

so tis saturday i spent the dayin bed getting sleep.... hmm i shall start yesterday

so i read this book that i am using for my theatre history paper. it was kinda boring.. well interesting but i didn;t wana do it.. anyways. i ended up wasting time on the comp. eventually after dinner i went to hang out with amber kaitlyn and alleah. then amber and i headed outto go pick up barbra and brianna. made a quick stop at thrifties and then went to the foundy.
for anyone who was way out of the loop. yesterday was brianna;s 19th brithday. she had never been in to a bar or pub so we took her. i baught her a crispy crunch and then later made her take a muff dive from my crotch. she was reluctant to do it.. but i am sure she was glad that she did. cuz later on i heard her telling the story to people at the pary. it gave me warm fuzzies knowing that she will have that memory of me haha.
anyways.. geoff and steph also showed up. and after a quick stop at the liquor store we went to the party.

barb geoff and i decided we had to make our first drinks strong... geoff won.. he was the most hard core.. he also got drunk the fastest.. which braught much humor.

mroe people came and stuf andf stuff. I ended up spending most of the night with megan which was awesome because she amuses me so.

16. it seems like i have known you worever and i guess i almost have. it;s a shame that we have never been really really close.. but i am sure after that birhtday that i ate the cake with my face you made sure to keep your distance. i think that you will be great at what ever you do. i truly believe you will be successful with your writting if you keep at it.. ther is actully no doubt in my.
mind. and success doesn;t mean making millions of dollars, it;s doing something that you are proud of. money and fame are just a bonus. i really hope that we keep in touch and then we can be crazy old ladies together. i love you.

there you are. as promissed. anyways
so some of the highlights of the night...
- infiltrating the "kewl group" in the kitchen
- making up a story that my name was alysia but i wanted people to call me lisa becuase in high school there was another girl with the same name and she was a bitch so i didn;t want the same name.
- being megans body guard, the chapstick body guard
- telling people about my camera fanny pack and waving it around
- hanging with the orange heads... no offence.;)

downers of the evening.
- being green and getting upset
- wakingup at 3 30 and not being able to get bacl to sleep until 6 30( total amount of sleep recieved.. about 3 ish hours)
- hearing the sexual experiences of at least 3 couples, some of which were very graphic, one of which was using a blanket that i braught... it must now be washed
- being trapped, by bodies and cold and miserableness and watnting to go home

so the night was good the morning was bad. at lwast i got soem good pictures. that if anyone wants are now posed on the forum.

so yea.. i left as soon as i could and came home to sleep. it was lame though cuz i had to get up 3 times to let the cat in and answer the phone and the door. why does stuff like that always happen when you really need the sleep.??/ augh... anywayss i'm alright now... sooo hungry .

will be doing my art work later tonight.. thats all i got..

my kitten loves me

she is sitting with me. stealing my blnket and making my feet go numb, but i love her

sooo today is friday. big party tonight, which i have been excited for. i'm not at the moment however so i hope it picks up. should be working on my essay right now.. but i am now. oops

wed night at the bar was kinda lame. there was a sucky person being the dj and our table was by the door. which was cold and the ciggarette smoke gave me a head ache. also on wednesday a group of us went to se borhat.. itwas so funny.. yet wrong in many ways.

thursday. fun with knots. moveing wood with leon and watching cartoons. best work op hours ever.

later that night at 70. dj night. ummmit was ok for a little bit. but i didn;t feel like dancing. and there was only us there. so we left after like an hour and a 1/2. went to timmys then to allens and watched the .... you knwoi can;t remember the name.. some time warioir... o dunno.. moveing city, cyborgs, australia*shrug* i fell a sleep. then kylan took me home and i went to bed... until...


now. i love this new blanket that i baugt.. soo much ... *heart*heart* heart*
oh yeah, and yesterday guess what came in the mail... my credit card! it's all mine muahahaha.

This is the time i should..

be reading a play. ..
be looking over my lines...
be researching for my essays....


but i'm not.cuz i just got up and it;s raining lots so i;m wrapped in a blanket. i love weather like this ...it;s got so much character. i dunno .

sooo ydesterday after class, i did a whole lot of nothing. i sat on the green room couch and was a big lazy blob.. then when i finally got my ass up to go to the library there was like no books for me to use. lame.

Woah i just rememberd some more of a fucked up dream that i had. i always have the most fucked up dreams. i wonder sometimes if that is why i am tired when i wake up. becuase generally i sleep for at least 8 hours. so whats thea dealy-o

hmm i really got nothing, but instead of doing somethign productive i will do these just like everone eles.


1. your so awesome. it;s really a shame that i never see you anymore. it always makes me happy when you sneak up or run at me and give me a hug.

2.i miss you , ya know. you and i have this weird relationship. it's this knowing what you want, but can never have. some times i think we deserve to forget about the rest of the world and just.. well i dunno waht we would be. if only things had been different, i could have loved you so much, yet i'm not sure what i feel for you now. maybe it;s some kind of love. w/e it is i cannot wait to see you next. my barnicle

3.i like you, though i suppose not some times. you are nice and smart and wonderful and sometimes i think i am threatened by it. but i wish i wasn;t and could just be your friend

4. you work so hard and are so wonderful andf sooo funny and i want everything to turn out for you. your so amazing. love

5.i hate to say it, but the last little while around you has been kinda akward. i know it isn;t my place to judge. i really hate how we are not as close. we where a pair and now, because of me mostly i feel like i'm missing something. sometimes i don;t think you are the same person. you probably are and just different circomestance and bringing out stuff...though i guess it isn;t that diffent just a little more extreame, or you are changing which is kinda good you could use one. anyweys i miss you, but things i have heard kinda made my stomach turn.

6.why do you aways have to be so difficult. we have talked, though together along time. you know what you. knwothis is not for you. why keep with it. i don;t understrand you. you say you should trust your feelings but you never do. i wish you could just be happy.

7. you are the one they want. i really like you and think you are awesome. so i understand why. i dont really know you but i wish that i did. i guess i am sad or jealouse or something, becuase i always seem to hear you name being called or said. and i realize is isn;t me that anyone wants

8.i like you, you are fun and crazy and alots of wonderful things, but i kind feel sorry for you sometimes. hwy do you do the things you do. i hate to say it but each time i see or here it, i lose a little respect. it;s nothing personal but it just kinda happens

9. what happend?! i miss the good old days when it was the three of us. i see you and we kinda hang out and you give me lots of hungs. but it is not near the fun we had before. we must go on an adventure.

10. i love you and i wish this could last forever. there are many things working against us such as time in out lives and the place that we are. you know what i think and it is true it will probably not change. for your piece of mine, this is for you. if i could do anything it would be not to hurt you, you better know that. i have been happier lately, it;s like before.. kinda. *shrug* anyways. you are hot stuff. and i like it when you show me how much you like me.*wink* i like the way we insult each other as long as it doesn;t go to far....fine

11.you are soo annoying.i want to beat you with a big smelly stick so that you know.

12. OMG your so hardcore and smart and fucking hillarious. if i do half the things you have done i will have lived a full life.

13. i'm glad we have gotten a bit closer this year. you are fun and nice and happy. i would like to do it more... hang out that is.. and maybe now that the play is over we can. i know i will see you around lots. but we should take and adventure somewhere. maybe on friday we cna have a tlak again .

14. your so od but i guess that makes you do. i can see that we have alot im common, which is kinda od scary yet assuring. even though we are very aike i know im different. my life willl be more interesting than yours and that will change me alot. io'm glad that you are you though, even if you talk to the cat.

15. ew creepy creepy creepy. give it up . i cannot belive you talked to him about me. it would be nice if i never saw you again.



yea thats it. nobody hate me if i said somethign you don;t like. though i don;t think i did. but yea. i guess i will get up and go to school . au revoir

OMGOMGOMG

what what... i don;t have to do anythign today...hell has frozen over i'm sure.

woot play is done. strike when pretty fast.. to bad i was stil uber tired and had lame work. sounds like i missed a pretty good party. very "good" for a lot of people. haha .
i'm looking forward to the parties comming up, thursday at the bad and brianna;s b-day.
then after that kylans... we must make jello shooters... if you do it twice it;s tradition..
anyways, last night was nice. had a bath went for coffee. ... .. watched a movie. why arn;t we like that all the time? itwas nice like the good old days.. i miss them.

so my rents are back, whoever reads this pobably did not know that they where gone. my dad braught back a jug of rum it is 1.75 litres... wanna know how much it costed... 21$ american .. thats less that 25 canadian.... thats alot of rum... i was like oh sweet is this for me .. but he said we have to shar it..
but i get to keep the jug after. and it is a relic, i shall keep it foralways

does anyone realize that we only have like two weeks until the end of the semester. paper time eh. ep ahaha

also comming up i get to go to the doctors alot... yea i'm sorry to say im dieing... but not yet..
really i have a dentist appointment soonish.. my knee apointment finally, and my wisdom teeth out.. lame.


so i really want a new music player. i am minus a crappy cd player and hoever crappy it was, it still game me muisc.. so i want a to be hard core and get a new i pod. they however a fairly expensive.. and i just can;t decide what color i would want.. green pink blue or black... if you think a specific color would suit me , please tell me. *shrug*

thats all i can think of. haaha and it really isn;t much .. *shrug*

i'm sorry .

closing night. thank god, i need a break. strike tonight then another party. unfortuatly i will most likley not be able to enjoy it as it will start late and i have to work tomorrow morning at 1030.

i cannot wait for "this" whatever it is ... to be over.
until then, please forgive me
--------------------------------------------------------
i am the prize in a race between two rivals. they are the same in many ways yet their ignorance of the other separates them. i am a bridge who is held up by two sides. i am the connector they shall never meet in the middle. they hold me up with love and affection, yet i am held down. without these sides i would fall, however the more they grow and shrink to meet i am twisted. I have beams that go deep within these sides, i stab deep within their being, the damage is already done.

trip to vic

so friday after james and kyle got off work we started out on our journey. out first stop was the liquior store. kyle baught some beer, i baught rum. then we where off. kyle started drinking uon the way up and after about 4 beer's kyle really really has to pee. so we find a gas station to pull over at ( which we find out later that we where minuts away from out destination) kyle runs in ... no luck no bathroom. so james and i , sitting in the car, see him run past .. hop a fence and go a little ways to a tree... it was like some park in some seniors viliage. ah the memmories..

so we make it to joshes house, unfortunatly neither joch or caitlin where there. so we went to get food and pop and chips... and search for josh at thrifties where he works however we did not suceed. went back to the house. josh came home shorty after and then we went and watch caitlin very exciting volly ball game.... 8couhgcough* .. exciting..

after that, thankfull it was over soon aftwe we got there. we all piled into james car... me james kyle josh caitlin and serina( joshes sister)... there wan;t enough room so kyle sat in the back...
then .. to the liquor store again! mmm booze..
got back home and played a huge game of fuck you.. got really drunk.. stayed up til llike 2 ish.. then got up at 7 30 the next day to drive home.

left kyle behind cuz he was going to take the bus, and james drove me home. picked u omy car and went to the build.

came home tried to read , fell asleep. kylan came and braught me chicken wings and more sleep.. i am up an dand there is work...

the end

quickie

so i just waiting for james to phone me so we can head out to vic to visit josh.. dudud i hate waiting. i finished by book. What i am to do!... blog.
there isn;t alot that 's been up. yesterday i was all blah becuase i was planning to go to vic and stay till saturday night or sunday morning.. how ever mike was like" well you shoukld REally be there on saturday".. and *sigh* i just got all dissapointed. Very sad lisa. i still dop get to go but only visit for a while tonight. josh works until 7. and i have to be back in nanaimo at like 9 30.. i mihgt be there by ten,

stupid designer. useless thats all i can say. she wasn;t even going to come this weekend.. *shakes head*grrrr* sooo tomorrow will be along day for lisa.. doing painting stuff and some light stuff with mike. o well o well.

work the next day.... Design run on monday that should be neat

so kylan comes over after rehearsal yesterday and he is all stressed out becuase apparently people don;t knwo their lines yet. and no one was learning then when they where not on stage... Boo earns to those people( i'm not saying it's everyone). just over a weekand a half till show opening! take it seriously people, the crew is doing lots to make you guys look good on stage. just remember that.

well now that i have made all the actors angry at me, i shall change the subject

went shopping yesterday . baught soem new shoes, some more mugs fro the green room> some, well all , oh which i think are very fun.

well thats all. see everyone tomorow at the build.. which is basicaly alot of painting now.

new post ... the last one was quite depressing

i'd like to stay away from that if at all possible. last littler while...
saturday- went to the build but was useless due to head huritng ness. weent and baught a book and read it until, spencer came over and we watched natural born killers and mean girls*( what a combo, thats waht happens when i have free choice) and i finished my aryt project. which i love love love... i am getting it framed.

Sunday - worked all day. i got stuck on cash which i hate however it was not realy bad becuase i was kinda training some one and i got her to go on till when it was slow.. and i got to work with patrick, he is the most fun manager to work with. then later on kylan braught me chicken wings made with love and honey garlic.. i mmm yummy.. inhaled them.

monday .. eww early art class. we did life drawing today .wich meant that we had a modle in today. and older women abround 40 somting probably. it was nice. i quite enjoyed it. i did a pretty good forshortened drawing to. and soem others

then ... then then then... our play went up..umm the theatre didnt burn down and no one threw tomatos. yes succes.. but seriously.. no one seriously fucked up and they all had costumes. and there was wonderful tech which is all i could hope for.
then thea his and acting.. i was dis interested today

went to spencers we went and baught soem movies watched... and i am now home going to go and possibly finish my book that i baught saturday.. it;s so gooood

i think that i remember that i have a stage craft mid term tomorrow. but i am very much not worried * shrug*

dududu.. do you ever feel special when you can type decently while not looking at the key board? i am doing it right now and am very proud of myself. are you proud of me to? jheheh e
aside from my horrible spelling... i;m iliterate didn;t you know that. leon just found out today...
never mind hahaha


ummm this week this week.. most likely starting painting the set. going to decorate masks. hopefully.. and and and it was tenativly planed that james and i would go and visit josh in victoria. i wanna see him in his place down there. that kid does to much and maybe i can help him relax a bit or something.... that and i miss him a bunch . that crazy kid* heart*


well i guess thats all i got . until further notice....

the worst day ever.. well maybe

yes that was today ...

first let me start with the events of wednesday night.. we all went to the gay bar and someone thought it would be kewl to break into my car..
lisa's car minus a passenger side window.

moving on today. for the past few days i have been sick and the trend continues. my first errand of the day to go and pick my pay check up from work... and of course i find that i am unable to get it beause it is locked up and the manager on duty does not have keys.. come back at 3 she says.
at the same time in the store i get a really weird pain in my neck. dunno wtf it was. however it lasted until i reached the school then it just turned into a head ache.
next i went to the back to deposit my pst. i go through the drive through.. negative the macine will not take my card.. i go inside to the atm and when it print out my recipit, it says that my updated amoun is unavaliab;e.. shigh...
so far these things have just been a pain in the ass.. i continue on my way to the school where i intent to finish my art project... however right after i leave the complex i run a red light.( first time that i have ever done that) it was the new light they put on hammond bay. i didnt ever see it till i was through... oops

so i make it to the school.. my neck pain has now turned into a headache.. i make some spaghetti.
take it and my apple juice into the theatre to get a peak of the rehearsal...
what do i do as sooon as i sit down, throw my spaghetti on the floor( i'm sorry for my bad spelling of a much loved pasta) so i pick that up.. an just give up and sit down...
rehursal ends... Oh shit... of course since my car has no window i am using an alturnative. well i forgot to put my parking pass in it.. Guess who gets a ticket!

15 dollars later, i mean it;s not that bad.. but waht a day ...
i was sitting talking with leon telling him the events of my day up just before the ticket( taht happens after) and he;s like well you knwo what day it is...
friday the 13th... i'm not superstitiouse... mayhaps i'm being taught a lession.

anyways.. isupose it was really just the morning that was a real mess.. other than me having a horrible time finding a new pair of jeans. kylan michelle and gregoire cae shopping with me.. along out travels we saw. alleah and geoff, JC, jo the firstie and tasia the firstiee... i think there where soem more lesser known people.

the highlight og my day was buying meghan a present because i know that she will love it. i cannot wait to give it to her. there will be much joy.

other than that it took me far to long to pick out movies today. building tomorrow will be good if i feel better and i still have yet to finish my art project. it will look good .

*sigh*
good night

i found this the other day when i was bored. i did it like a year and a 1/2 ago or something. it was a computer quizie thing. i think it still describes me today.



you are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.

You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.


so you see? creepy eh..
augh i do not want to work to day, i have to get ready very very soon.
last night having dinner with everyone was fun. dinner tonight.. dinner tomorrow.
i cannot wait to get work over with today. i really really don;t wanna work for 8 hours.

fare well

negative title... oh the contradiction

so today started out fine. went to the school with kylan hung around fixed the rest of the parcans. watched miked set some focus points for the IQ's. kidded so creepy guys out of the green room.
went shopping baught some awesome new shirts. went and saw spencer. went to timmy's and for a drive. visited matt for a bit. now i have a head ache and am tired
i've been tired lots lately... i find that being bored and doing nothign does that to me. and it;s just a cycle becuase i've been sleeping which makes me more sleepy, much less intersting and very much less enthusiastic to do things.. hopefully the build tomrorow with cheery me up. and dinner with people.
i guess i have stuff to look forward to , but i just don;t have the energy to care really. which to me is sad and depressing. i hate being that way. cuz it really isn;t me.

will someone fix me? snap me out of it if you can. i would be very greatful. 3 days of unhappy is not good for lisa.
i guess on a brighter note i really like this shirt i baught... it;s a very nice. anyways.. till i do this again

i"m lost

(btw this is a "lisa letting it out" so if you even read my blog feel free to skip it)

right now i am soo lost i dunno what to do. litterally i have nothign to do, but i cannot do nothing. i tired to draw but i cannot i have to much force working insode my body... do you ever feel that?
feel like at any moment you could rip your chest open just so you don;t have to feel that anymore.
crush whatever is making you like that. i'm in one of those places where you have nothign to look forward to but a row of lonley nights. i guess it matches what i am.. i shouldn't be, but i am. sometimes it goes away, but it always comes back.
if you don;t want to see me don;t make up excuses. just tell me it hurts less.
i've decided that there is somethign wrong with me. It always ends up the same. i'm not getting waht i need so i end up miserable. am i asking to much, do i just have high standars for happyness??? what the fuck is it cuz i sure don;t know. i fell like a mother looking after and cleaning up after children. what pisses me off the most is that i've been here exaclty before. I hear the words you are saying, and there are many. but where is my proof. i dont ask for alot, hardly anthign but i want proof , i want to see but most of all i want to feel. I want to feel. cuz sometimes i don;t belive what i hear.
why do people stop figthing for what they want? Do you just get it and it;s yours? not in these cases. why does history have to repeat it;s self. WHY. i'm tearing my hair , trying to get rid of that feeling, trying to figure why i end up where i started. this is notwaht i wanted at first,i did it for you, all for you cuz i thought you would be as wonderful now as then. if only i trusted myself it isnt; in me rightnow. Why did you stop fighting. you got the prize so whats the point...
i dunno what to do so i will go on, and we will see if i survive. right now it's like i;m falling apart. i dunno how else to say it. i'm not trying to splay my troubles out to the world, i just need to get the ccrap thats in my head out. maybe the pounding, and twisting in my chest will stop. maybe i can focas. figure out what needs to be. something to make you want me again. not want me ... but give me waht i diserve... what i feel i diserve or throw me away cuz i am trouble. just something
like i said... i am lost. terribley dramatic i know but everyone deserves a low point now and then and i am in mine. i will waste tonigth, tomorrow, and the next day. cuz i just don;t have what it takes for anythign. and i doubt that you will come running.

" beneith the stains of time the feelings dissapear, you are someone eles, i am still right here"
*sigh*

me thinks it is time

FOR AN UPDATE>> yay update... woooo.. woo.. ho.. yea....

today was an all around ok day.. some parts where better than others however none excellent or horrible.. did some work op stuff, worked on theatre history... *sigh* gentle frusterations... things do not have to be as complicated as people make them. i think there are some really fun things in it. i think geoff has some nice moments as the evil dude. my set shall come together and it will go up and yea. i shall give my direction then the actors, hopefully takeing what i have said into account will do the rest of the work. becuase i am tired of it. moving on

i had spaghetti for dinner it was very good becuase i was very hungry. now i plan to read the nez books i baught. mayhaps have a bath cua they are nice

TOMORROW.. we get to watch the firsties movement pieces, yay ..
friday i mioght have some of the girls over after reahearsals for a bit of a night...
and monday my mom said icould make a turkey! mmmmm turkey .. mght have afew people over... or somethign

the past little while.did afew things
- theatre one bite of nanaimo
- last market
- the song party was fun funfun for the most part anyways.. everyone check out the picture
umm yea.. thats all i got i guess.. things are going pretty alright.
btw i am excited to start the set.. there is going to be lots of scenic painting

LoVE

welcome to the cocktail party

so i'm having a cocktail party. the gist of it is on the satyr player forum. i don;t feel like explaining since i actauly wrote a post about it last night but bloger was all fucked up and lame

anyways i was p at 7 30 again.. lame.. i just couldn;t sleep anymore... i guess it's guz i went to bed at like 10... my head hurt... 10 seems so early to me, but when ithink about it thats probable when alot of people go to bed. *shrug*

lots of meetings today.. first production meeting( that i am in at elast) for the 12th night
and a work op meeting.
got some auditions that i am not doing...
then playing DND*dances*

yesterday was a pretty good day . did some re-wiring in stagecraft. after which i feel smarter for doing. then meghan and i did some more and cleaned out the paint cubourd.

( goooo team awesome *clap*) hehehehe

i think thats all i got... blaoun

welcome to the cocktail party

so yea.. in a few weeks i am having one.. i shall keep people posted. i have a bigger blurb on the forum

today was .. hmm pretty fun. in stage craft meghan kylan and i ( team awesome *clap*) did soem re-wiring on lights. uber fun .. except for rivets but i showed them..
meghan and i also cleaned out and organized the painting cubourds...

OH this morning i finsihed our script for theatre history.. my work is almost donw.. HA
anyways it;s done and i am happy.

lazed around a bit.. had a bath... worked a bit on stage craft .. i am less worried.. i was all likeahhhhh .. but now i am not... haha watched beauty and the beast with my mom.
i got all choked up...*tears* .. i was beautiful..

OH i got my check from chemainus today .. yay i can buy things ... if i want to ... i mean .. i don;tneed to ...

umm my kitten loves me.. she caught me a snake today

lots of meeting tomrorow and soem DND woot.. yay

that all i got and or an remmber / have to say


LOve

The sunscreen song

hey guys do you remember this!.. hahaha it;s from like grade 5 for me .. i like it

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.