What iz up ... bitches

so i am home now. i had a good time but am glad to be back.. and much richer than i left. yay
hmmm there wasn;t alot that happened some drinking, going out for pacho's( potato nacho's sooooo good ) the weather was well. mmm yea illiteration. went out in the dinngy.hehe. yea and painted a set. i hope everyone likes it.. cuz this is kinda, pretty much the biggest show i have working on .... mmm yea probably. he he.


but in any case i am back and now you can all stop missing me. i have 11 days before i go on my trip. and there is lots going on in between. two very special girls birthdays. eh.. eh .. yes i think so ..
today i am soo going shopping. hopefully i will find something decent. all the clothes seem very ugly right now. but as a treat to myself, i'm gonna try and spend a little more on things like pants and shoes... because i need them desperatly. a pair of both where compleatly destroyed by paint.*shrug* yay new.

i hope to spend many days in the sun with the people i enjoy.
any idea's for adventures kids? i'm up for sum

another good day...

yesterday in the late evening my day did improve, after much "medicine" my head ache did go away and i was able to have some fun. i am glad that people seemed to have a good time last night, eryn in particular. today is not looking well for me. staying in bed all day seems a good idea.
see you when i get back

sometimes i don;t know why i bother

The following is a blog of no real importance, i'm in a rotten mood and can thus see not in a positive light...

what the fuck, it seems there must be something wrong with me. either that or it;s the entire world. i think that i give to much, i must because i always feel like i am just waiting for something in return. to fill the empty hands, empty heart, that i am left with .perhaps people are not as generouse as i, but in any case a thank you would be sufficient.
i'm not greedy, i don;t grasp for everyones attention, i realiziwhen it;s my fault. i don;t like to make people feel bad. i'm aware of the environment. i recycle what i can ..try not to waist. So what, i like to shop, find sales good deals, own nice things.

am i not kind, considerate, loving.
...........................................
a short while ago spencer braught my a dozen roses for no reason. it made me feel special
last night eryn did the dishes that i had been dreading doing. thank you soo much , you don;t know how relieved that made me.
.......................................
perhaps i am merley blind, or selfish in a way i do not realize. i suppose deep down it is I who has caused my own distress and misery. i hope that my day improves, cuz right now it;s kinda shitty.

And Now... and update

so here i am . dudud duh. anyways i get my own internet tomorrow. presently i am at spencers. he is still sleeping. i can't get how he sleeps so much. i supose that he does stay up late. it;s funny i have found that in the past year i don't sleep as much as i used to .. like even if i wanted to sleep in , it;s only till like 9:30. anyways today should be an awesome day.

for those currently out of the loop. i am done done with petsmart now. my last day was on sunday. patrick the store manager was sad to see me go. although not entirerly becuase shortly he would also be leaving the store. he said that i should come and work for him in his new store on the main land. haha. other people seemed sad to see me go as well. giving hugs and " it was nice working with you" which i found odd. anyways YAY freedome.*dances*.
so after sunday i drove down to chemainus becuase i was suposed to be helping out with some photo shoot. the peopel got stuck in trafic or soemthign so where 1/2 hr late. lame. then it took hardly any time to get the set up. i was suposed to help them out sunday night, monday for like 12 hrs and tuesday(today) for another 8hrs. however they did not need me. so yesterday i ended up doing light walking for the kids show. then i visited with meghan which was lovley.yay meghan .then when home. the awesome part of all this is i still get payed for all the hrs that iwas shedualed to work . WOOT

so i have a day off with pay today and i am going to use it to my advantage. a nice visit from the pot fairy and a trip to see mr potter. then who knows... probably a nap for me hahaha

on saturday i am leaving for kelowena to paint my set. which shouldn;t take that long. afew days perhaps. and then i shall be back for some more time off.

anyways i;ll probably be posting again soon. sincew by this time tomorrow i will have my own internet

posty posty

i supose i shall post, just to give you all an update. presently i am at my parents house doing laundry. kaitlyn and i do not have internet yet, but are hopping to get it soon. the problem is that we do not have a phone line or cable. sooooooooo i pose a question to all those who have been movied out and got interenet. did you just break down and get cable along with your interenet or was there a way to just get it ?

anyways so the house is good. many of you have come to see if and hang out and even claimed part of it as your own. i of course am speaking of eryn who has a cubby in the closet and conditions on the fridge in exchange for some cleaning services. i think it is a good agreement hehe
so pretty much i love kaitlyns and mines appartment. the only down side that i can see is that with it being summer it and there being lots of windows it get quite warm in the apparment. this is fine during the day because we can open all the windowns and the down balcony doors and let the air fow through ,. but at night the misquitos; come out and there are no screens :P
i can survive the heat becuase of my reptile like body adjustments to temperature, however any nomal person finds it unbrearable... or so i;m told

in other news this past friday i gave my two weeks notice to petsmart. i'm tired of them treating me like crap and doing all their work. that being said there is no point of me finding another job until after i come back from my trip. so at the end of august. so actually i'm not taking that much time off work. since i am doing afew days up at chemainus and then going to kelowna for a week. i am wanting to look for a waitress or hostess job where i can get tips. that failing i may look into the delivery of food since that also gets tips. what i don;t want is just another 8 $ an hour job. i want some perks for my hard work damn it

soo hmmm i think thats all i got. i'll post again when i have the chance.... or the interenet... dun dun

love

what the hell am i doing drinkin in L.A....

that song is stuck in my head. so does everyone wanna hear some great news

i lied it isnt. my knee is still fucked up, it still has a nice bone chip in it. infact it;s worse. it is killing my right now. fucking fuck fuck fuck ... im not pleased.
work lately has been very tiring. it;s like twice the work effort because im gimped. sigh. but whatever. two more days... i'm gonna see if i can get out early today.
yesterday hmmm after a long day of work, i went to spencers where he was just starting his day. we hung out and watched some sopranos then went out to dinner with glenn, robyn and another girl. you should all be proud of me it was indian food and i ate it and pretty much enjoyed it. i actaully wouldn;t mind going back there when im not full. when we returned to spencers i pretty much passed out from exaustion.

i had this weird dream that took place at rutherford school. and we had made these butterflies and where either doing some excersise or playing a game. the there was this other part with like an obstical course or something. the last part i remember was comming into a room , and it had a bunch of pallets in it and steel with pallets full of stuff . like the recieveing at my work. but it was just a small room and it was so crouwded. and i think it was "spencers" and he was either lying down on a really tall pallet or something and i was thinking about how i was gonna make space. like i remember there was a skid of litter that i was gonna get rid of and two skids of nutro that i was gonna put together. this probably sounds like non sence. but going over it actually making me think about what it means which is funny. well not funny really but anywyas. me at work while spencer is sleeping it makes sence. i guess i am kinda just dissapointed at it. it;s like work why try so hard at something, put so much effort into it if you know there isn;t anything to do to change it.
i will probably have to quit work soon, well i dunno when but there is no fucking way i am staying there if they make a certain someone a manager. i need to get a job as a waitress somewhere so i can get tips and have lots of money. i just have to get some more training and my serving it right. it will be worth it thought.


oh man going to work is the last thing i want to do today, but o well.
~lisa~
p.s. when i have a day off, i want to spend the day with you. the whole day

*dances*

we got the place! gonna start moving in next week. you all have to come and visit!!!!

don't you hate when you feel like crying but you feel silly cuz you have no real reason to be doing it... i hate life sometimes

loss of inspiration

don;t you hate that, when you get all gung ho about working on something and then you just loose it. you just stop careing. it;s funny how fast your feelings can change. anyways
its funny how some funny stupid things that i think, continually prove themselves to be true. like when something is going good i can;t acknowlage that it is or it will turn the other direction.
without fail, it happened today. even thought i know what would happen, i guess i thought maybe this time it wouln;t, but i went and did it. whatever. i guess some time alone isn;t the worst thing in the world.... however missing someone you love is.

it;s not like i have much to complain about. i supose i'm just being selfish. i have other people who love me and would gladly spend their time with me. but somehow when i can;t have what i want, it;s all i want. you know.
anyways ... so i haven;t posted in forever or like a few days. last thursday i think it was a bunch of people came and visited me and i felt super special. i swear people never come and see me. so thank you to jill, josh,ben, gregoire, and eryn who traveled vast distances to see me. and to kaitlyn and spencer who where stuck with me by defult. i thank you for puttin gup with me.

kaitlyn and i went to hand in out application today. i hope that we get it soo much. it is so nice and will be much closer to everyone so you can all come and visit and have cocktails and stuff. spencer can come visit me finally. you better anyways, no excuses now. terry will come over hopefully. i think he is scared of my parents so he like never comes over here. perhaps it;s me he is scared of thought.....
we thought, kaitlyn and i, that we could go and have a picknick once we move in, i mean when we hopefully move in. i'm scared we won;t get it for some freak reason. its like what i was talking about before. getting to excited about something and then it not going your way.

kaitlyn is going to he far off home tomorrow for like a week. man it;s sooo weird having so much time. i can't wait to get back to work kinda cuz then i will have stuff to do in the day. i actually have stuff to do though, of course i just procrastinal though.*sigh*

hmmm i'd like to thank my blog and it allowing me to ramble aimlessly. i was feeling alittle down and you made me feel better.
~lisa~

sigh

sooo i am fricken bored out of my mind. i love them but i can only watch so many movies in a row, particularially by myself. it;s fine with people but doing it alone is so no fun.
so far today i have watched two movies. done some sitting around... wasted as much time as possible on face book. read blogs. hobbled around the house. texted people, looked up laptops , looked up appartment and created a list of them. compleat with newspaper clippings.

last night was fine spencer came to visit me and he spent the night but he left early this morning which made me sad. and then i was fine, but now i'm so bored and lonely.

if you aren't busy feel free to take pitty on me and come visit. even for a short while. i have a week off work pretty much and i'd rather not spend it alone. just call my cell or stop by, or send me a text or anything.
i guess i'll watch another movie. i got nothign eles to do.
augh bored bored bored

lisa the cripple

not that much.. but i needed a title.. anyways
soooo what has lisa been up to. well i went to kelowna on friday after work. friday was a long day . got up at 7 work work work .. then took the ferry and drove..said hello to everyone... and went to bed.. yea i know i was lame.
but saturday we ( me robyn cody,and jordan) got up and went to get some breakfast. it was good
then back to the beach house to pick tim, who was going to help out with pyro.
then we headed out to this movie set. now before you get all excited ,, it;s a really bad b movie called hells tome. but it was kewl none the less.

so what we where doing was. there was suposed to be an expolsion in the film where they blow up a monster. and we where going to make the expolsion.
so anyways we get introducted to everyone and then go off to do some test shots. jordan has a video of one of them on his blog btw. it was pretty sweet, i learned how to make the exposive charges. and was not so bad at it if i do say so my self.* nods head*

so we did that for a bit and then go around to actually doing the explosion for them to film . haha at this point it was starting to rain which sucked. but what didn;t suck was how big we where making the explosion.. very very sweet

so we finished that up and went to the beach house to get cleaned up and have a few drinks.
then to dinner. more drink. man i had the best drink.. i wish i remembed what was in it.. of and i met the set designer for miss saigon ,. he was pretty kewl. haha

back to the beach house. more drinks .. and then we decided to have a little pyro compotition. so robyn and i where on one team and cody and tim on the other.. and we made some charges and set them off in the yard. robyn let me fire them off which was super kewl... we totally won.
then some more drinks and such.. and then i painted a door. it looked really kewl when i was painting it.. but i dunno if it still looks that kewl sober. anyways. it has a tree that looks like a woman and a big water drop, some space, and a wave with a confused shark and ogo pogo . nice eh.

to bed.
next day up for breakfast, then to a prodiction meeting, then a long drive home. robyn and i stopped at ikea on the way home and it was awesome!! i want to go there and spend like day looking at everythign. i did buy a lamp thought... it;s kew;; and green . ferry , extext
it was a pretty good time
then today i got to get up and go to the hospital for 9 30 .. to go and have my knee surgery. horay. got changed into hospital gear waited in he waiting room. then waited ina bed .. then waited in a bed in the hallway. then they couldnd find a good vein for my IV... well not until they stabbled me afew times and decided to try my arm. woke up in the recovery room. naped for a bit. got moved to a differnt place have some apple juice and arrow root cookies.. which i love yum yum. and pretty much came hom eafter that. i wa nervouse before but it all when well. and how i am just a bit of a cripple gotta take it easy for a while, probably have take mor time off work than i thought but , meh, it's fine by me, if people wanna come visit me at all i have no objections. call me first on my cell just to make sure i am here. but yea..

oh and the best part of the whole things was i got soem care bear stickers.. i was answering some questions ith a nurse and when we where done i was like ..." can i have a sticker" and she gave me a whole little section. yay

anyways. update compleat.

this is my night off

i decided i needed a break. just a short one *wink* haha
i have to work early tomorrow and there are somethings i should work on... but we will see .
anyways. a break from my hard core party life style haha,.. well not quite but probably as close as i will get.
umm i don;t remember what i did friday i think i went to spencers.... but yea . sat i worked then hun with eryn a bit. watched some hercules and had some good talking time. ... i really enjoyed out time together hehehe
then i went to see spencer any stayed the night there.. then work the next day omg it was soooo boring almost killed me... except that 1/2 way through my shift james and kyle came into visit me on the way to the liquor store. they told me to phone them after work.. so i did and kaitlyn and i ended up going to tylan's house* jame;s friend* and played beer pong.. well i played rum and coke pong because i don;t do the beer. but i rocked pretty good. i must say and then we played flip cup which was sucha fun game. kaitllyn was all pro at it. eryn and tasia came and hung out a bit. but sadly did not partake in drinking. later on . me james, kaitlyn and rainbow boy* jessie* walked to jessies house... we where on 9th street .. and it was past where you turn off to go to butter tubs from the freeway. anyways long story short it was a long walk. but a fun one.
then once at jesse;s i wanted to go to spencers so i could pick my car up in the morning. soooo james walked kaitlyn and i to spencers.. but there was no - one there. so we just sat down.. but then .. who walked through the door. a kylan martha and spencer. very drunk meets high. we we all chilled and it was nice. kinda weird having all the people i have actually dated in the same room together. but i was really drunk so it was ok. not that iwas bad or anything but yea.

so the next day i had to go and get my car.. so i walked from spencers house on campble street to my car on 9th street. which was no soo bad, it only took me like 40ish minuts , that including a stop at the 7-11. and eww did i mention 9th street is one big hill. that was the worst part. anyways. oh and the glass for my window came in so i went and go that put in .
then some stuff happend. i baught 2 muse cd's the new marylin manson cd and 2 glass monkeys filled with maragrita mix.
took rick to spencer. chilled. the boys went to the pool( lisa could not go due to lack of pool attire)
but eryn was like hey lisa i wanna get fucked up so i was like ok... and we went to the liquire store and played some drinking egyption war. i dyed my hair and then when the boys returned we went for a nice picnic with our friend the apple pipe. then to tim hortons where we found martha, jill, biff, james, kylan , alleah. and it was nice.. i had a bagle.. mmm bagle

so eryn and i are girls gone wild hahah. i have enjoyed the past few weeks, thats how i wanna keep rolling.
wow long post.. *shrug*
I"M GONNA GO MAKE HOT CHOCOLATE

augh

ya know. there are just some things that i see sometimes that piss me off. let me tell you a little story. all my lifepretty much i was and underdog, fuck i still feel like one sometimes today. i was the one that was left out of a group. in elementary school i had many friends who where not my friends. in grade 7 i spent most lunches inside with one other person. on my fast all team ( which i played on for 8 years with basically the same group of people) i was never invided to the girls nights, or on camping trips or anything like that. i was the tag along. same thing in high school.i was the after thought person alot of the time. drove me fucking nuts, people say their your friends but don;t wanna hang out with you.*shrug* anyways.. so now a days things are a bit differnt, i feel accepted and all that crap. but what gets to me now is some people not thinking i am capable. not trusting me. i guess this is mostly my rents and people from work. but anyways , but i;m really getting at is it drives me nuts to see someone i care about be shuned and not trusted. i believe it, i've even experienced it. i don;t see why the people that should be closest to this person don't believe then. to see someone punished for doing what is best for them,is so unfair. i'm all about the fairness, and this does not register on my fairness scale. i don't want people to argue, or fight or not talk to each other. i wish people would try to understand. hahaha and i'd also like world peace.... cuz i know if i want it it will happen*rolls eyes* but what eles can i do but wish for the better. anyways..
just keep on it, it;s the people who have turned against you now, are who will be missing out in the future. damnt it why do i keep saying epic soundsing things, it sounds so cheesy when i am trying to be sincere. anyways i'll be there for ya. i know what it feels like to be thus treated.

i don;t expect anychange or people to to give a damn what i think. but i guess i can always hope in some small way i can make a difference.
again with the cheese.

~lisa~

i'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round...

i really love to watch them roll

today thus far has been very productive. i slept in and watched two movies with kaitlyn. well 1 anda 1/2 . first the end of kate and leopold which was awesome and i am going to buy it. amd second life as a house. which is also very good. then i went and ordered a new windshield got a new watch battery and returned some movies.. i get things done in their own time. i gotta unwind before i can act again.
do you ever feel like you dissapoint people, even though they will never say anythign about it.

last night was an amazing adventure. i would like to thank all the participants. nathan, eryn ,jill, martha kylan and kaitlyn. nights like that create memories that make life worth living. there was only one thing that could have made that night better.

i have a head ache. i think it;s cuz i'm hungry.. grrr i hate waiting for dinner to be done. i also hate having to say weather i will be home for dinner. i can't wait till i cna just flow. and do whatever i need at the time. i hate setting plans sometimes, becuase then i am set in one direction. however many times i like making plans becuase then i am certain at what i am heading for. i guess i am torn. anyways
i cannot wait to see everyone at some function, that we need to have. just thinking about it makes me want a hamburger. can you tell i am hungry. hungry for excitedment*clenches fist in the air*

anyways. yea. ttfn

why

someitmes so i just don;t understand. like is it something abotu me that people see as threatening so agressive? all i try to be is nice and yea i;m a little crazy , but does the rest of the world really see me the differently than i see myself.

in other news. someone smashed in the drivers side window of my car. sweet eh. there wasn;t even anythign in my car. fuckers. i wonder if someone just hates me and is takin it out on m car. *sigh* however spencer's aunt and mom have offered to pay to get it replaced since it happened at their house, which is super nice of them, perhaps i will only get them to pay part of t thought.

hmm also i am finally done chaning light bulbs. spencer and ace did it last night and got it all finised. i'm so glad. i hated staying up that late all the time.

hmm well thats enought for now. i am looking forward to erin;s and mine;s night of fun . hehehe
farewell

i am sooo hungry

this is me waisting time and distracitng myself until dinner is ready. hmm lets see. so i've been workin. and stuff. had monday off which was awesome, i slept in. then some boy came over and took me to a far of place. haha and make me an amazingly deliciouse.( omg i'm sooo hungry) steak dinner. and i make an ok apple crisp. it wasn;t my best but never the less it was all eaten. i had a wonderful evening.
ok but then yesterday happened. so it kinda starts with me getting a phone call from my mom at 9 saying that i could have my knee sugery tomorrow and to call this number. i asked her to check what time i worked.. 10 AH... i thought it was like 3 ... soo lisa rushed home to get changed for work.. deading the fact tha ti have to tell tracy( she is the one who does my shedualing) that i am going to be out of commision for a few days. so she comes in and is fine with all that so i phone the number back. " sorry so and so is out to lunch can you call back in 1/2 an hr" fine so i do and she informs me that i didn;t call back soon enough and they gave the spot to some one eles. augh. oh this is also after i founf out that nathan got a better job and isn;t going to work with me. i don;t blame you nathan... i so would have done the same thing. it just sucks cuz we are still short a cashier and i really don't want to get stuck doinf cash.
soo yesterday was very frusterating for me.

but it got better near the end. today was fine, i moved sone dog food around. Oh i have tomorrow off. if it is sunny out and hot does anyone want to go to the lake or have a picnic with me? i want to go out and enjoy the sun while i have a day off to do it. also tonight ace and i are changing lightbuls some more.

on another side note; i miss kaitlyn. haha i like never see her. everyone is always like oh hows living with kaitlyn .. and i;m like "I dunno" haha we have like different sheduals haha. o well
we had a good time watching dumb movies on sunday ...

WEEERE dinner is ready HUMAAHAHA
*love

i am the hottest secretary around

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gather around my children and i shall tell you a story

so this one time there was this guy.. ok forget that ,we all know my story telling is as good as my typing skills. so anyways just got home from work. it was an alright day. dudu i was ridiculously productive, saw nathan before he had his interview. hopefully he gets a job working at my store that would be fucking awesome. dududud

sooo i got my contract for a show today. i am the scenic painter for miss siagon up in kewlowna. my first real job as a scenic painter. kewl eh. i'll be going up to kelowna for a weekish at the end of july. hopefully i get the set done early so i can come home thought. i need to get some time in with a certain someone before i go away on my cruise. for those of you that don't know i am going on a cruise around the blatic sea. i'm going to russia and poland and denmark and stuff.. anyways it will be a great experience. and i am sooo freaken lucky that i get to go. but part.. more like half of me doesn;t want to leave. i know i'm a big baby. barb is without tim for like months.. andi am complaining about 2 weeks. i just don;t want to be away from some who makes me so happy.

the past two days have been wonderful btw.
OMg so last night spencer and i went to see 28 weeks later... i was sooo scared. i pretty much never want to seee that movie again. so scared
i also recently saw shrek the third . and i liked that. funny funny

umm hmm what eles is exiting. not much

tasia and brianna i have friday night off, saturday off and sunday night off. pick a day and we shall watch some horatio! i heart horatio.

jill we shall find some time for cocktails.* serious nodding*

i still have to make cookies

i want to paint something but am not sure what any suggestions.

lovelovelove
~lisa~
p.s. you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey, you;ll never know dear how much i love you, so please dont take my sunshine away

waiting around to change light bulbs

.... thats what i'm doing kids. ace and i are going to change the light bulbs on the aquatic centre. we have to repel from the ceiling to do it. which is kinda kewl , however we have to do it at night after the pool is closed. lame for being past my bed time. yay for 25$ an hour. woot. so there ya go.
umm yea kaitlyn updated about kids fest and that is pretty much the dealyo , it was a week full of drinking, horrible balloon, crazy people, useless volunteers, and kevin the bar tender who will forever hold a place in our hearts.

in other news i miss spencer sooo much it;s been just over a week since i've seen him but it seems like forever. i can;t wait till we go somewhere together. me and my love *dreams*

dudud also i go a new cell phone yay. and it is still pretty and red. i now have unlimited texting, voice mail and a camera. neato.

hmm what eles is new.hmm OH i painted a sweet painting of the beach house( klaus and codys house in kelowena ) it;s the pic that you see.. it's kinda a crappy picture... don;t judge me

anyways

i guess thats enough i shall go

LOVE and Cookies

mmm coookies
~!lisa~

hi kids

so i am super tired so i am not going to post my eppic post tonight , however kids fest was a ridiculouse amount of fun. afew hard days but it payed off with the good times and getting liquored. i got to know afew people a bit more nad i met some awesome new poeple. i wish i could go back in time and relive this week... but i guess i will have to wait till next year.

i will go into details tomorrow, YAYa day off.
butfor now i am going to bed

much love
lisa

don;t judge me ...

mmm sweeet taarrts

so things have been better since my horrible day on friday. went to spencers and watched some movies and hada relaxing night and then slept in. saturday was a pretty laid back day at work. then came home had my self a shower went out and baught some new roller blades. i heart roller blading. i used to do it all the time but then somethign happend to you rollar blades so i stopped anyways... i went for a rollar adventure to the mail box and realized how out o shape i was.haha
o well
yesterday i got some decorations made and got spencer a new mug made( cuz i broke his other one on the horrible friday) it took jo 3 tires to make. and i love her for it. ummm went rollar bladeing and stuff. had a wonderful sleep
got uptoday and had a boringish day at work. only 12 more days to go until i (possibly) get a day off. eeep

i can;t wait till it actually gets hot. stupid may.*shakes fist* wanna wear my sumer clothes.
that is all for now....

addition. there is a funny occurance that i find happens to me. thought it is most likely in my head. but here it is anyways... it always seems that as soon as i admit(not when it happens but when i admit it to myself for the world) that something is going well or i am partiularially happy there is almost always something that happens which counteracts my good mood or attitue or whatever you whish to call it. it;s not always really bad or anything, mostly just a shift in plans or some crummy news. i guess thats just the way life works:P damn you sometimes life. o well
i want to see so many people , but i can;t decided who to call first, so i will probably end of doing nothing.. or just procrastinating alot. i still have many things i need to do, but i just don;t want to. and that is horrible.

ok ok .. i think i am actaully done now... though i wouldn;t be suprised if i update again before the night is through... don;t blame me, blame boredom
~lisa~

"today is not your day..

tomorrow isn't looking to good either." so today has been full of lots of crappy things and happenings. first of all work was ridiculouse. 9 skids where delivered and i had to recieve and work them. ( i only got 5 worked though) but keep in mind these are pallets stacked about6 feet tall with , 40 lb bags of dog food and litter. i guess i don;t have the most mentally taxing job in the world but the things i accomplish are amazing sometimes. i actually did all this in like 4 hrs, before the stuff was delivered i worked 3 other skids and did some cleaning. and you know all the customer service. not that anyone really cares what i do or how much i accomplish at work, but i makes me feel better to complain about it. anyways. it just makes me angry cuz there where twice as many people in petcare today doing 1/2 the work that i was doing. dfjglskjhdf
oh and i dropped a pallet on my glasses and chipped a piece of, which i have since glued back on. it looks... ok . of and my parents had to make a big deal about my renewing my cell phone plan. that just added to my awesome day. all i wanted to do was get somethign new as it makes me feel better. but no big comotion.
oh and then i broke spencers grad class that adam baught him. great. i know how upsetting i is to have someone break somethign that you love. i too have had one of my favorite glasses broken. i shall be replacing it as soon as possible. i feel so bad. *cries* at least it will give kaitlyn something to do while she is at work.

also just from all the comments that people have been making, and stuff i kinda am worried that i won;t do a good enough job for kids fest. i was fine but now i just feel that i am going to dissapoint everyone with less that amazing decorations. pretty much i can;t wait for may to be over with , or at least the first three weeks of it. *sigh*

so , work sucks, i am in a strech of 19 days without a day off. i have sunday off of petsmart in which i have to make a bunch fo decorations. then 5 days at petsmart and then kidsfest starts. and i can just tell that during kids fest i am going to have to work night shifts. if that isn't bad enough. spencer is going away to hawaii. which i mean is super great and fun, but i will miss him.

i have decided this is the post of suckiness and depressing. looking at all this is just making me feel worse so i will stop.

this is me

posting for the second time today becuase i am kewl like that. so after this morning 's augskjdhfsk.. i went to walmart where i baugh some lame things like new shampoo, bu ti also baught this really kewl top and super comfy pants.. mmmm comfy. then came home sat around a bit.. then headed over to wake up josh. boy i missed that kid. we had one of our good talks that we always have and it was wonderful. he is moving back to nanaimo for the summer which is super exciting. umm
then kaitlyn and i went to our exam. which was easy, done in less than 1/2 hr. dudud. came home made afew decorations. 7/20. soo yea.. not i am being super kewl and doing my blog.. gonna go out later.. i started out this morning and the day seemed so awesome and it was sunny and warm. and now it;s all cloudy and stuff. it's kinda a downer.

o well , perhaps i will go and paint my nails

p.s. 12:08 was the highlight of my day

AHGFHDIFG

what the fuck. thats all i have to say. sorry for getting upset becuase you think my work isn't good enough. creative critisism is fine, but you really insulted me. I don;t like asking poeple for help. however if i truly need it i will ask for it. this is my job, my contract. you said you would help me made me feel like you don;t think i can do it... have a little faith that everything will turn out alright.
and now you make me feel guilty. just cuz i got upset doen;t mean you;ve done a bad job. you do pry sometimes into things i don;t want to talk about, or ask me mundane things when i have a long day , or a bad day , when i don;t really feel like talking. that doesn;t mean i don;t love you or appricate everything you have done fore me. your great and i wouldn't be me if it wheren;t for you.. and i like me. you don;t know how often i say how often i said tha i have the best parents ever. but thats doen;t mean i won;t get annoyed frusterated. just leave me be and i will get over it.
you had a suggestion which was fine you just presented it in the wrong way. i don;t like sit downs, they make me nervouse. but you know whatever.

you know, sure your kinda crazy sometimes, but i will probably end up just like you.
Love

soooOOOoo

didn't do a whole lot today. we i kinda did but not really. i worked at the port for 8 hrs doing some load in stuff.. which actaullt involved alot of stanidng aroung and ridding in robyns fancy H-core new truck.. wow is that spiffy. and then i came home and had a bath and finished the book that i baught yesterday.. it;s called "can you keep a secret" by the same author that wrote the shopohoci series. and it's pretty much the awesomest book ever. i read it afew years ago and decided that i wanted to read it again.. so i went and got it yesterday and practially reay all of it cuz i am lame like that. anyways...
on another not i think i am currently addictied too dunkeroos they are sooo tasty, such a fun little snack.yum yum yum

just for fun this is a piture of me dressed as my kinky superhero" spanlk me pink " at my my first year mixter
i soo broke that cock open,,, gave it head good. and there is ace.. i think he was like hetero sexual man or something.. or man man... i dunno he has a big" man symbol" you knwo the one with the cirlce and the arrow.. anyways it was pretty kewl to say the least.. i hope you firstyears are excited.. cuz yo uhave to make you ... pinata..
you knwo what we has a penis for ours and i made one fore this year.. but after i was told that normally it rotates from penis to breasts.. so maybe next year you wanna make some breasts.*shruf* or a vagina... depends how creative you want to get..

anyways that is all i got i guess

p.s. if you want to make a crazy pinata i can help you shape it or w/e
p.p.s only if you want.
p.p.p.s even though ti hate paper mache

pirate ship

so i just had this dream and it was kinda crazy and fun. so i thought that i would share it with you.

it started out as some contest where afew of us had to swim over to this ship and stay on it for a while. which is all fine and dandy, except the ship would eat you if you made it angry. so we get onto the ship and there is this list of instructions:

don't step on any of the ships feet/legs( so for some reason there was a bunch of furnature on the ship, if you kicked a table leg or something .. .it made perfect sense in my dream

don't forget where you are( so like you are on a pirate ship don;t, start arguing about something not pertaining to the ship or without using any pirate referances.

i think there was another one but i forget.

and the thing was if you did any of these things, the way to make the ship not eat you was to do pirate things. so say things like
arrrr, mate , scallywag, stalty dog.... or start using a gruff voice or sing sea shanty songs. sooo but it;s are not to like bunp any thing ona a ship so pretty much all the time we where saying pirate stuff and singing. cuz if you kinda stopped doing that the ship would start to like wavy.. like tha walls would move in together or the floor would move.
so it started out with maybe 5 of us on this small ship , but as my dream went on the ship got way bigger, it was like a house...( a pirate ship house) and more people started showing up like, pretty much all you guys. so that went on then we got close to the harbour and where like lets go on land. and i;'m thinking in my head yea ok, we';ll stop at a port somewhere..
side note.. i was out on the deck and it was like night or somethign , but it was realyl bright cuz or the moon or something and a saw a bunch of dolphings and it was awesome
andways so i go back in the cabin and the nixt time i come out we are waiting at a traffic light...
and i think to my self what the fuck and i look over the side to see if we have wheels or something and there arn;t... this is impossible i thin kto myself, but then i'm just like "ok"
and we continue on our merry way.

what is awesome on another intersting side note, there was a note that i had to read. and I read it. but i've heart that your aren;t suposed to read in dreams.
anyways i have to go and make like 10 decorations today ... byee

this is for you

I love you darling...

When you look at me I feel beautiful

because thats what I am in your eyes

The safest place I can imagine is in your arms

and the coolest breeze cannot withstand the warmth of your touch

an ambiance that i don't care to be without

You make me happy

when, for all of the day.

The weather in my life,
was a particular shade of gray.

each night i hold your heart in my hand
you tell me to sleep sweetly

and my dreams will be sweet...

they will be of you

shitty post

so i've went throught everone's posts, so i guess it;s my turn to write a new one. but it really won;t be very exciting.
sooo i guess i'm glad i left the party so early, no so glad at that darling spencer was sick. also not so glad that i had to be at work the next moring at 8.. then after leaving at 4 have to go back to work for a stupid staff meeting at 6:30. grr much anger. hmmm the i got to work yesterday on cash, which i haddn't done in forever. the day was soooooo long. then watching the best movies ever. blood gnomes rest stop and ... goules.. we fit soo many people into spencers tiny living room. crazyness. but i was uber tired so i , along with kaitlyn who is compleatly moved into my house now, camehome and went to bed.
had a crazy dream like i always do. and now i am up waiting for work at 11. sweet eh. i have to start doing the decorations for kids fest. it seems like i just have no time in the up comming weeks, i just hope my whole summer isn;t like that. i'm sure it won;t be but you know.

ok so who ever is comming camping, i will be a making a map before we go, and if you can;t come both days but can one day ... tell me cuz there are other people and i have to make a trip back to nanaimo anyways... so then you can get a ride to camping and not miss all the fun. ok ?

anywyas i have to go to work at 11, and i still need to shower get dressed and eat so... yea
sorry my post was shitty. if you want a good one read eryns... cuz it;s awesome like her

T minus two days ...

this is just for me..

i am beautiful
I have a wonderfully curvey body, with soft skin
I have soft hair
I smell good
I have cute feet
i smile lots
i am kind
careing
and generouse( probably too much so )
i believe in fairness and treat people thus
i am honest
i am creative
i keep things that people give to me, so that i can remember them
especailly from those people who i care for alot
i don;t hesitate to help people
i always offer to help people move, becuase i know that no- one likes to do it
I am content with the simple things
i do not need things to go my way all the time
i am a good listener
i can get the most " bang for my buck"
i am some times a nerd/loser( see above)
I love to give people gifts. especially for no reason.
i am forgiveing
i am good at painting and fastball
i make most of my own jewlery
sometimes the simplest thing can cheer me up, like a surprise flower, or a text message or a hug
i can comprimise
so what if i can;t spell worth a damn. that isn't how i roll
i have an excellent work ethic
i like to cheer people up
i am not a lucky person, but i buy scratch tickts anywas becuase they remind me of my granny
i am thankful for the things that people do for me. i hope you all know
i can french manicure my own nails and french braid my own hair
i love going to flea markets/ garage sales and finding unique items
i feel beautiful naked
i am responsible
i make amazing apple crisp
even though i don;t like lots of differnt foods i am actually a good cook.just not a very divers one
i have friends who are awesome
i am in love
and feel loved
and except for some little bumps i am very happy with me life. i am glad that i know the people i do. proud of myself for where i am , and what i have accomplished. i am excited for the future.

T minus three days ...

so i just looked in the mirror and realized i look absolutly aweful. i guess it fits. the last hitchhickers was tonight, just got home actually.( cuz i am lame and didn;t go out with everyone) anyways i'm glad we are done cuz it was fun to do, but am glad that i wll have those days back again. last class today as well. bothe where kinda just talking about the courses.*shrug*
my cat is cute and exploring
there are lots of things i could be doing right now but i really just don;t feel like it. so i think i will go to bed. i also have nothign interesting to say.
here is a picture. i like it

"is it all to much or just not enough"

i wonder sometimes if there is anyone in the world who has it all together. everything ya know. and then wonder if there is such a person , would i ever want to be it. just a thought
i have a lot of thoughts. i think most of them or ridiculouse or my mind just over reacitng. so i try to ignore them. other wise i get myself all worked up, and doing that is never a good thing. but i get these feeling/ intuitions and i'm like what the fuck is that all about. and i guess i come to some kind of conclusion which turns out to be .. well just silly.
" life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"
i was wondering on my drive home. which part of my life is life and which part is the making plans.i guess all the work and stuff is making plans and the just doing whatever is life, but then again i make plan.s....... ok .. i give up i'm just confussed and i know that i am probably getting this all wrong. i suppose life is just moments and the rest is all crap
i wonder... i wonder. there are so many things that effect other things.. and the slightest change can drastically effect the outcome. how much is enough and what is too much. no one really knows eh. you just gotta go with it and screw up some times to figure it out.
like how do you commit your summer to making/ saving money yet still have enought time/ sence to relax once and a while
how do you spend time with people enough so that you are close friends but not to much so that they are your only connections?
how do you show that someone that they are on your mind all the time, and that you love them more than anything, without smuthering and pushing them away.

there is so much uncertainty. the "how much" sometimes it just fills me with worry and doubt. it;s like playing a game almost. the strategy game of life... augh.

i just hear this song playing on the radio and i like it.it's all like mushy and stuff. here at just afew of my favorite lyrics cuz i don;t wanna have a huge post

"I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you"
"I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along
Baby, you made it right"

"I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart"

i guess thats enough.
p.s. i can;t wait to move out
p.p.s how much?

mmm mini eggs

sooo hows everyone doing, having a good easter yea? yea?... as for me *shrug* i had to work today 8-4... however it was so boring and dead that i got off an hour early. neato. and i am waiting around to hang out with people. duuud uud u.
so yesterday kaitlyn and i drove back from kylans and just kinda didnt; do alot. then she went to work and i spent like 50$ on some ...INVADER ZIM dvd's.... i had to...
and then i went to walmart to get pictures developed and some other things.. and i went to watch a knife demo and ended up buying knives... it was such a good deal though.. i got 3 big (foreversharp) knives.. 3 pairing knives, 2 juicer things, a pair of forever sharp scissors, and a filet knife for 28$... haha
then i come home and find out that my dad had an extra pairing knife and big knife from when he baught a set like that, that he was giving me... so o well .. now i have lots of sharp knives..
hmm then what..
rented and watched some movies with spencer
had a super awesome sleep which was sadly short due to the having to get up for work.
*tears*

ummmm i am excited for school to be over with, just so i don;t have to worry abotu going to class and having to do stuff


anyways i think i am done for now.. here is a list of people i think should update their blogs.
kailyn
martha
naaathan
it;s good thats its short. anyways...

LOVE

augh

even when things are going well it's funny how you can still feel crappy. no-one has really done anythign or said anytihgn to me. but maybe thats kinda the problem. all my life i have felt that people where doing things behind my back. not like mean things but makeing plans and having fun that i never don;t seem to get told about. perhaps i am to distracted to notice. for a while i thought i was done with all that. but . i dunno. last night we had and awesome good time. me eryn and kaitlyn, we talked about some good stuff. one topic of which... was it ourselves that was the outcast or was the rest of the world screwy. is it me thats ... or is everony eles...
i guess i should just stop wanting to be involved in everything. i mean i hear all these stories of grand adventures and stuff, and i always wish that i could be apart of it. i should just stop wanting it , because it sucks realizing that you arn;t wanted or even thought of.not worth the mention i guess. i should also stop worrying about other people and just let them live their lives. but i just don;t want them to make the same misteaks i did , have the same horrible things happen. but it;s do hard hearing that somethinng you expierienced more than one, might have happened to another person. i makes me wonder if there was anything i could have done to prevented it.. what could i do, that i could have said. if anyone would have believed me. i mean there are some things that i see, there are some things that other people dont know. that they should know. but do i have the right to tell them. i mean i supose i have the right to talk about my own experiences but if that talking corrupts someone eles perception of something. is it right? i'm really just scared for the people i care about. but i really can;t do anythign anyways so why bother worrying about it. i just hope that they know what hey are getting into and hope things turn out better.

i wish i could shut my mind off. then maybe i could get some work done. i cannot wait for this school year to end. i will miss most of the people, but i will be glad to get something new going and leave a whole mess. anyways

i don;t exaclty know what that was but i have to get my art project sone, at least alittle before people start showing up.

p.s. one day i will have enough time to create some grand advenrures

procrastination at it's best

so here is the deal, i'm trying to write my theatre history essay. augh. and i'm very proud of my self so far. but ever 50- 100 words i seem to loose focus. so far i've checked my bank accound and cretid card, read through everyone's blogs, had a shower.. and nwo i am writting a blog. i had officially diagnossed my self with essay A.D.D
however after i return from whatever activity i have choses to do instead of my essay i do get a small chunk done. which is good.. right now i am 1/3 done my essay and i have all tomorrow to do it .

augh so last night i worked all night and stuff... and then i got up early this morning and worked for a long time .. and now i am very tired. i could use a shoulder rub if anyone is feeling generouse.. eh eh .. didin;t think so. you knwo waht feels better than getting your shoulders and bacl massaged... no no .. heh not that .. silly kids.
either getting your feet/ legs massaged or your arms. cuz they don;t get alot of attention. anyway s

so i got payed today ,but our store won this thing becuase how must we made went up the most from jan to mar.. so i got an extra 80$.. i would have got more if i had worked more hours during that time. but hey .. i'm happy with that.

anyways thats enough for this distracton..

p.s i am open for people to update their blogs so that i will have another distraction in the future.. thank you.

o my fricken god

i am soo busy comming you in this next week. tomorrow i have a digital media presentaion and a hitch hickers show. thursday school and then work 3-10, friday work 7-3, the hitch hikers rehearsal i belive. the i possibly get to hang out with eryn and kaitlyn. woot. next day i have nothing.. excpet you knwo writting the essay that i have jsut barely started and is due on mondaym oh and an art project that is also due on monday. augh. but i do get turkey for dinner. then possibly more attempting to write. sunday i;m in chemainus all day then to a hitch hickers rehearsal. monday class and hitch hickers. tuesday the is alighting assignment that should be due, wednesday hitch hickers. and sometime before next thursday i have to find time to go out and look at supplies for kids fest then make a budget so i can go into my meeting with kim on thursday and work out my salery. alright.... after next firday it should be smooth sailing though.

alright.. i just have to survive the next week and a 1/2 .. hahaha
why does everythign always have to happen at once..like i am sooo no complaining that i get to do all these things( except for assignments... no one likes those) but it;s intese that they are all with such a tiny time space.

anyways that is all

day one

of the hitchhikers guide to the galexy went very well. there wasn't a huge crowd but they very much liked and i am confident that it will get much bigger. i encourage you all to come and see it , every monday and wednesday till April 11th. it;s pay what you can so there are no excuses of being poor.
the past two days i was working on the turn over in chemainus. that will be nice for some extra cash whenever i get it.. however i am soo sore. can you say out of shape much. turns out i actaully do have triceps after all.hmm... i am also please with how comfortable my steel toe boots are.
next on the agenda, finish my theatre history essay, and get to work on 2 art projects. then i should be ready to rock and roll... kinda i guess
haha

you know what i love, rice crispy squares, i wouldn;t mind going for one of those now. but i especially like them when i have a sore throat. *shrug*

anyways thats all i feel like writting...

fare well

i got my hamburger. and it was sooooo good

happiness is best

so it;s been a while since i've posted, and even thought it is way past my bed time i am tired of looking at that survey i did. things are going pretty great, or ya know pretty fricken awesome. the last 2 weeks just... sooo good. got to hang out with some awesome girlies and watch some movies and see this boy that is pretty cute and get called for some theatre work and being in a radio play.
the universe is balancing it self. this is my high point, i doubt i could be any happier, and more sadisfied with where i am right now. now is when all the bad things that happened or have been annoying me , don;t matter. it just doesn;t matter, it;s gone for all i care. it;s not worth getting upset over, or angry over. why bother with things like that? now i know it won;t last forever. there can be no good without evil, but at least for now everything is amazing.

anyways.yea.. i really dunno how to follow that up.. but whatever. i am so happy that things are going good for the people i care about to, at least i think things are going pretty well.. i know at least for one! yay *dances* you know who you are , you lucky( hahah at first i mispelled it lusky- that should so be a word) girl.
anyway s

yes
i am obviously far to tired for an cognitive thought here. so i go to sleep and dream my wonderfuly dream, an i will wake tomorrow in hopes that tomorrow will be as good as today.

*heart*
p.s. just for the record i think you compleat me. your the part of me that likes water chesnuts and i'm the part of you that likes meat. i love you

yoink

You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
it would be half anf half cuz thats how i roll

Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently.
one of the southern annoying ones

You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna try?
probably sex

What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
glingy or unstabely emotional

What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
umm idunnio

You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?
umm a scrambled egg sandwich

What's something that most people do that you've never done?
thats a hard

Before you die where do you want to go to...?
hawaii and australia and newzealand and ireland

Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
eat stange food and enjoy it

A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
leamur

A drug you'll never try.
like all them

If you were an animal what would you be?
cat

Worst way to die?
tortured

Best way to die?
in sleep?

Grossest injury you've ever seen?
probably some kind of burn those are gross

the worst injury you've ever had?
the condition with my knee

What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
new york

What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
mythology

What's your material obsession?
jewlery, alcohol, funny little things

Favorite kind of dog?
well trained dogs

Its Saturday at 3am where are you?
probably in bed

Worst job you've ever had? wall mart

What's something your friends make fun of you for?
my spelling, but i can't blame them

What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
when i was in grade 5 i told someone a secret and then not someone eles, and then i told them it was cuz i didn;t trust them. i felt terible

Ever fallen out of love?
no, there will always be a part of love that is alive

Have you ever dated someone you met online?
negative

Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
umm i kinda was seeing someone for a while actually

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
only megan

Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
yes i probably would

Do you walk around the house naked?
if there isn;t anyone around

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
hahahahahahahahahahah

Are you afraid of commitment?
i was

Are you a jealous person?
sometimes , if i am insecure about somethign

If someone you had no interest in dating, expressed interest in you, what would you do/say?
tell them how i felt

What would you rather be doing right now?
i would not mind some sex...

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex
normally opposite, but both

Can others make you cry easily?
no

Who was the last person to piss you off?
*cough* lets just say it;s someone who obviously "knows more than me"

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
like 8

Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
ummm i don't belive so , some i guess are less attractive

What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
need to have a sence of humour and play

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
nope never in a million years........

Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
yes and i love him so much

When was the last time someone hit on you?
i don't know.. i am pretty dense and i normally don;t notice... it might not have been for a while

so .. closing party pretty much rocked hard core

yes yes??? i think soo.. all i know is that i had a super fun time,just a dancing and chatting and going to nathan's car.. and eating pizza.. and seeing pam! i just had a most enjoyable time. one of the best parties i've gone to for sure.and then going to bed ;) and getting to sleep in. it was so nice..

the day yesterday was good as well, hanging out with kaitlyn and devin. going to the mall and finding a sweet sweater that i love and an awesome ring.

dudu then today playing dnd. fun fun fun
my rents came home today. they baught me a necklace pendant with some crazy stonein in it that you can only get from where they where.
it was just a good weekend.

any now , the nights are free. and i shall hang out with the people that i want an stuff..yup yup yup

but nowi am tired... so this doesn;t make lots of sence. *shrug*

see you all tomorrow

one more day to go

till the show is over.two more days till my parents come home.i am glad they will be retourning. as much as i want to movie out and be on my own it;s nice having them around. at least i won;t have to take care of my crazy cat anymore. she brought in two birds today. one when i woke up and one when i got home. i saved the second one and released it.. it was neat opening my hands and it flew away. anyways. i am tired. i'm excited for the show to be over becuase hopefully then i will be doing less running around or i guess driving around. during everyshow i always forget what it;s like to have a whole night to do something.
ach.. i dunno at least i don;t have to work till next friday.not that i don;t like working*shrug* i guess i will go and clean a bit and then maybe have a nap for a while.

see you all tomrorow.

because i have the time to do it,

- Accidents:

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? nope
02. Do you have a lot of scars? yes i do
03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? only kinda but not really, i've always wanted to get into one though
04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? not physically i don;t hink
05. Have you ever had stitches? omg i've had so many

B - Beauty:
06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? umm yea
07. Are you self conscious of how you look? sometimes , but less than i used to be
08. Do you put on a lot of make-up? no normally just some eye makeup
09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? no, well maybe if i was burned by acid
10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? how they see the world and live in/ react to it.

C - Consequences:
11. What was the longest amount of time you've been grounded for? i've not been ground. well there was a time when i wasn;t alowed to go over to spencer's for one week, but i could still go out andhe could still come over. thats the closest
12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? now? i would probably have an abortion. don;t want to end my free life yet. that might be different in 5-10 years
13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? yes i do, ifact i used to do that far to much but i am getting better
14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? i dunno
15. What is one thing you wish you didn't do, just because it wasn't worth it in the end? Ha oh i know exactly what it is, but i shall not say it. it would not be kind

D - Dealing:
16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? don't even bothere with them or possibly confront them.
17. Name a time when you had to be strong: when i lost the person i love. i dunno how well i did it
18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? i can remember my dad yelling once in my entire life... and that was whenhe and my mom where redoing thekitchen
19. When people at school don't accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? just be me i guess
20. Have you ever lost someone to death? yea, my granny. i miss her

E - Experience:
21. Have you ever had a job? yup yup lots
22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? i guess i would say i am pretty experienced
23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? ummm there have been afew tough times, but in the grand scheme of things there could be far worse
24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? ummm yes, but i would rather live with kaitlyn
25. How old do you act? probably my age, sometimes a bit more sometimes less

F - Family:
26. Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? my cousin the crack whore
27. If you had to choose, family or friends? well i don;t have that many close friends and i love my family .... buti have decied taht my friends are my family so i can choose family
28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? no
29. Do you have any siblings? yea kenny. he;s pretty kewl in s nerdy sort of way
30. How often do you spend 'quality time' with family members? very rarely , which is kinda sad...

G - Growing:
31. How tall are you? 5'4".ish
32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? no
33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? probably a bit mature ? i dunno it;s hard to say about yourself
34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?no
35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? what are you talikng about i know everythign.....

H - Hope:
36. Love - real or not? so real *warm fuzzies* oh shaun connery te hehe
37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? kidan both .. it depends
38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? i kinda think that it is 1/2 and 1/2... that there must be some big things that are meant to be, but some other things depend on your actions
39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? yea in some way
40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? my love and friends

I - Issues:
41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? actaully i could probably vomit happiness atm
42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? not that i know
43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? things are good
44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? umm no
45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?not so much

J - Jokes:
46. Are you usually the one making people laugh, or the other way around? umm i think i make people laugh more now than i used to , and i laugh lots
47. Do you cry when you laugh hard? no... but i breath less
49. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? nope

K - Knowledge:
50. The purpose of school:umm to learn.. stuff
51. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? sometimes i am pretty smart but sometimes i am very dumb
52. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark)? 98% reahearsal/performance).
53. What was your last average? je ne sais pas
54. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? science, sociology

L - Love:
55. Are you currently in love? *nods sheepishly*
56. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? yes,, yay love
57. Is love worth it? ummm sometimes it is...but not all the time.
58. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they 'love' someone that they've been dating for a few weeks? it just makes me shake my head
59. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? when i mean it i will say it without thinking that maybe i shouldn;t.

M - Money:
60. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? unfortunatly yes for the most part
61. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? i'd say we're doing pretty good
62. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? i'm always saving for life
63. Would you rather win millions of dollars and be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry and start a family with? so if i win millions i can;t find my perfect person.??? fuck money.
64. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 4, it;s not important. like i can do without it, but i like it

N - Naughty:
65. Are you a virgin? no
66. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you're not going out with? i don;t do more than like making out with people i'm not kinda seeing
67. Do you know anybody you consider a slut? probably
68. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? i would defiantly erase things
69. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? probaly nice

O - Openness:
70. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? a while
71. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? i just need to know them, and i will decied if they can be trusted
72. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? no
73. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? i dunno,
74. When it comes to parents and close friends, what's the limit of what you can tell them?i don't tell my rents alot, my close friends i can tell lots

P - Positive:
75. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn't necessarily end positivetly? yeas
76. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? yes
77. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? depends on the day
78. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? umm i dunno
79. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? ummmmm yes

Q - Questions:
80. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? i am bad at asking for help
81. Do you often question the world and how we came about? not really
82. Do you think the government is truthful? I doubt it.
83. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? i usually let it go ,, but there are definatly times when i shouldn;t
84. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? i dunno ther are lots of things.. my brain does not work so much

R - Respect:
85. How do you show respect? accepting what the person has to say even if i dissagree, act kinda buy gifts
86. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? break my trust, say that it will never happen again, and then do exactly the same thing compleatly forgetting that anythign ever happened before that moment.or act like you better than everyone or act like a jackass, it;s pretty hard to actaully loose my respect
87. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes
88. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? i'm generally not, but if i am i will just feel guitly
89. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? i just stop bothering with them
S - School:
90. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? 15
91. When will you graduate high school? 2005
92. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? work
93. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? i like the courses , i hate the work sometimes
94. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? negative

T - Temptation:
95. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? yes
96. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? nope
97. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? no
98. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn't really know or love?What did you end up doing? probably i've had like a crush or something but i would never act on something like that
99. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? i do give into temptatin, and alot of time i hate that about mne

U - Unique:
100. Would you rather blend in with the crowd or stand out? Stand out
101. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? no , although i do like to be encluded i do what i personally think about things
102. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? i wear what i like at the time
103. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? not really
104. What makes you different from people your age? sometimes i am boringinly responsible

V - Value:
105. What's the most expensive thing in your room? probably some of my granny's old jewlery
106. Would you sacrifice your life for other people? depends if they are worth it
107. What is something you value not because it costs a lot, but because it means a lot to you? my rock, i sleep with it
108. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the one thing you would want to save? my picure frame
109. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could happen? then the future? the past always affects things in the furture

W - Wishes:
110. If you had three wishes, what would they be? that i could erase you from my past, that i will have a at least semi successful life in theatre, that one day we will be standing on the beach in hawaii
111. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Loved ones, because that in turn would make me happy
112. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? not really
113. Have you ever had a wish come true? yes
114. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that's meant to happen, will happen? there isnt anythign wrong with having somethign to hope for

X - Xanga: ummm

Y - You:
115. Are you more independent or social? both
116. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? people who flip out for no reason or are to ignorant to try and understand somethigng.
117. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?sure do
118. What kind of person would you be if you didn't have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.? i would be very very different
119. Do you think people are generally good? Yes

Z - Zest:
120. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? yes i am .
121. Are you more outgoing, ready for anything, or boring and shy? i am outgoing and boring
122. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? i just roll with it
123. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? depentds what the new things are and i love meeting new people
124. What is the most motivational thing in the world? love/passion. either for a person or a passion you have to achieve something


wow that took me two days to do.. sure i left it and came back but still two days

it's my birthday, and i'll.... something.. if i want to

thats the jist of today. it;s my birthday and i have most of the day to do whatever i want to, but i have nothing that i particularially wanna do. so we are doing nothing. kaitlyn and i are making me a cake. making my own birthday cake how kewl am i. i baught myself things to decorate it .. and candles. i actually feel like the lamest person ever for doing things to "celebrate my own birthday" . it feels kinda like i;m planning a surprise party for myself.

today seems like a waste. o well
at least last night was fun. we ate soo much stuff. was so full. patty cakes was so intense. kaitlyn you and i are hardcore.

maybe i will just have a nap.hopefully after the show my day will improve.

just because

i think you are neat. your fun, and fun crazy stuff seems to happen when you are around. i hope you get to know me better, and i the same with you. cuz we could have grand times together

wHAT THE FUCK IT IS SNOWING AUGH

i hope you don;t have any ..mmm negative feeling about stuff that went down earlier on in the year. i hope you understand.perhaps as the panda pancease drop we can get anythign out cuz you are pretty kewl and fun to be around.

i wish some things worked out for you more becuase all i want for you is to be happy. i know you just need to find the right someone. it;s good though that some thigns seem to be looking up. yay for summer . YAY for next year...YAY YAY for BULK FOODS!

What the fuck. why do you always do this, misconstrue what i say to you. i'm not being mean. you just think that it's my goal to make you miserable for some reason. guess what it;s not. so the next time that you feel i've ruined your day, think again of what i did/said that you happend to interpret as negative, and maybe you won't fall in to a slump so fucking often. if thats to hard to do then dont even bother with me.

why do i always not see you. hahaah i like you so much. we lie when we say we will hang out.. but o well .. when we are thirty right. we'll get together then.

for you i shall creat a song montage.
" you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey- and I.... Ie.. IIIIi will always Loooove you o o o ..(cuz i ) never knew i could feel like this, like i;d never seen the sky before, want to vanish inside your kiss everyday i love you more and more.waking up next to you makes my day good

i miss you. i wish i wasn;t so forgetful and lazy that i actually sent you an e-mail once in a while. i think about you and the good times we had.i miss them but hope you are doing well. i have somethign for you, a christmas gift... i will get it to you somehow.

i;ts good that what you thought before about me has changed, beacuse you are pretty spiffy. yea i saidit spiffy. glad you are comming to hang out ... sometime. see you soon eh... cocktails too..! yes... we shall have some


omg better get going

doom doo doom doom

Soooo i am just chillen right now, waiting for doug to get out of a meeting. been fixing up the last little pieces of video , and we are gonna burn them to dvd soon.

i found these, cuz i am bored. we watched invader zim last night i am love grrrr soo ,, i though i would share it with you.

i hate mondays

hate them, with a fiery passion that burns eep within my soul. i dread them. they are just so busy for me, art class early in the morning then my over lapping classes.augh.. i just really don; want to deal with it ever. ican;t wait till this semester is over so i can like mondays again. it really up tp the events of the day weather i get through itin once piece or not. and yea i know i am being overly dramatic, but... seriously they just suck so much. it;s not just that i have to get up early for my art class it;s the class. i am sure you have all heard me bith about my teacher.. whats the point in putting efort in things, when you knwo it won;t matter. augh.

tomorrow starts the 3 weeks of madness as well. this week the crunch to finish video's, this weekend tech starts off tech week and then we open. lame lame lame.. i mena i love theatre and i love doing shows.. digital stuff so isn;t my thing. it;s good i am doing it but augh... stess. i wish i just had a nice set to paint. that would be easy.

anyways.
see you all tomorrow.

p.s. i died my hair and i am unsure if i like it...
p.p.s i hate mondays...seriously .. augh... i just want to skip it... o kthats enough ...
augh...


*grumble*

very tired lisa

soo today as a pretty long day. i had 2 apoointments and a big chunk of filming. it was like my day just dissapeared. i cannot believe that this week is already over. back to work tomorrow. i think i get payed though. which is good. cuz i spend money lots. i am very tired right now on account of my business and getting up early and stuff. yesterday was a good day. going out to fast eddies and having soem cocktails and getting kinda tipsy an then haning out at spencers with people was sexy times.

wow it;s getting pretty late. i better get going to go to bed soon . it smells so good in this room. i don;t want to leave.

dududu

good night everybody

love

vomiting happiness

it's true .. i literally can't contain it anymore.
i know i am lame. i just can't help it though. getting through today was an accomplishment. it was just one thing after another which was kinda stressfull, but is a huge releif now that is it over. the rest of the week seems like a breeze, even though there is probably something that i am over looking or that will pop up like things tend to do.

tomorrow dudud, i am going out for james's birthday. dunno where yet but what ev.. then the next night,, on valentines day*weird face* i am all up for the singles and "singles"( cuz there are some kinda acceptions) night at fast eddies.. COCKTAILS yay yayaya.. so excited.

then the next day is the wonderful day of appointments starting with an eye appointment and then a dentist one. woot.

my rents leave in like a week and a 1/2 and are gone for .. omg.. 3 weeks.. i will be alone in my house. but not entirely.. Cocktail party. if your comming i;m gonna need ya to bring soemthign like a bottle of booze or some mixes.. maybe soem munchies. no beer alowed.. or pot.. this night is classy and just for cocktails.. and if you don;t like it don't come. i am also thinking that there sould be a girls night, cuz we talked about that before and now we have a good time/ place for it. just throwing it out there..
it;s always fun to have a night of talking and junk food... how about some more cocktails??
auhg.. i mean ... having pillow fights in our underwear


anyways...

YAY ( you knwo what i am talking about)

anyways good night and sweet dreams , i'm hoping for them.. mmm last night... such sweet dreams

never knew i could feel like this like i;d never seen the sky before, want to vanish inside your kiss , everyday i'm loving you more and more. listen to my hear can you hear it sing, telling me to give you everything, seasons may change winter to spring but i love you, till the end of time.

O weary night
abait thy hour
steal me a while from my own company

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes
And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me
I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away
I’ll dream away
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

unproductive

i hate it when i feel that way. funny how often i am unproductive though. sometimes i wonder why i am. it's like i have so much potential to do whatever i want. i could paint or read or whatever, any of the things that i always wish i had more time for. but i don't. i just sit around wasting time cuz i'm just not in the right mood.

Like right now. i have the whole night to my self, whether i want it or not, i have it. to do whatever i need or want. but i can tell already that i won't do anything. i feel kinda shitty and i'm probably just plain lazy. whats with me and this being sick, cuz i don;t have a cold. is it some weird flu? i don;t have a temperature but my head and neck hurt like crazy, and i'll just feel really crappy. i've had enough of it. I want to feel better.feel like myself, feel pretty. not feel like crap.

what an awesome depressing post. i guess on the bright side i have most of my proposal done and it had been pushed back until next monday.
but i also have 2 art projects that i am behind on and a bunch of other fun things that i get to do. so as it looks i will probably sit around for the next few days being unproductive, wasiting my time on the computer, till it's last minut and i have to get my act together.
Sweet, i can't wait

augh

i hate being sick. My whole body hurts. i feel to crappy to do anything productive. everyone eles is at school. i always feel lonely when i get sick. i hate missing everything that goes on in a day. tomorrow i will most likely be at school even if i am feeling like shit. i don't want another day like today.
*sigh*

oh that karma's a sneaky one

so today i feel icky. i had to go to work but ended comming home 1/2 way throught my shift.anyways let me start with the adventures of citt

sexytimes. friday morning i get up and have to go to a pre-production meeting for power. augh after an hour we got a pretty final idea of what the set it going to be. blah blah blah. i have to leave.. kylan and i go to my bank and then to meet at spencers where nikki is picking us up. the wonderfull nikki comes and we go to get maddy. then the two in the front seat decided that they want food so we drive in afew circles cuz spencer can't give driving directions*wink* anyways
long story short
we make it on the ferry yay...meet up with. devin, tasia,jill, brianna, michelle, ace and mike.(plus myself nikki,spencer, kylan and maddy) 12 of us all together.

not alot happened on the ferry but we did have some intersting conversations in the ride to citt, in out big budget van. some reminicing of old tv shows... ext ext
so anyways we get to citt. do the wandering around thing. get some really really crappy tours from dougless college students. USELESS. our first years are smarter x2 than their second years. anyways had some pizza*shrug* did this crazy challenge that ended up involving alot of cheating and cheap tricks.

augh side note: some of the other students pissed me off they where so rude. like this one guy just bad mouthing every thing fuck. i just wanted to punk him in the face.

carrying on. the team the maddy was on won. yay so proud and team franken-polt( kylan, brianna, devin, nikki, jill) won second for most "creative design" Also brianna won a first aide course, jill won tickets to an opera, spencer won canucks tickets.. him and jill traded tickets. all and all the actauly citt was not the highlight of the trip, however i did come away with 2 stagefab cd jackets and a travel mug.. i like free stuff

afterwards we took a walk then the sky train to get to the ywca. kylan and i where ran over by a tank. and the best way to cross an intersection is to run. anyways we made it and went to our rooms.

me, maddy, nikki, kylan , jill and devin( also know as room "nikmadjilliskydev kavich"
and then spencer , ace and michelle and brianna and tasia's luggage( this come in to play later in the story

so after getting setled in and nameing our room we(spencer, ace michelle, kylan, jill, maddy and myself) went to dinner at moxies. where i had two moxie sized cocktails. mmmhmm. i aquired a sweet ass martini glass for myself and some utensils and a napkin for kylan. spencer got a spoon.the rest( nikki brianna, tasia and devon went to the bars)
we finished and went back to the room where there was more casual drinking i went to sleep pretty fast.

3:30 am... i get up to answer the phone it is the front desk... they are trying to get a hold of spencers room because a drunk brianna and tasia need to get their stuff( they stayed somewhere eles) but no one in the room is answering. so i call. no answer. call micheles phone like 3 times no answer. go down to the room... knock for a while.
FINALLY. a very cofussed spencer opens the door and we bring the bags down stairs.
grumble grumble back to bed

4:45 kylans phone rings. it;s nikki her and devin are lost. devin is being an ass and lying in the street and nikki is trying to get him back. ... a little while later kylans phone rings again. they have taken a cab and are there.. so kylan and maddy go down to get them... cuz the key has and elevator thign and they didn;t have a key anyways... blah blah blah..

everyone gets back into the room .. tires to sleep .. except devin.. he is drunk off his ass and giggleing.. the rest of us are not so happy about this. finally we get him to shut up.

next morning.(minus devin) get up and head out, pick up some breakfast at the the corner store. thank you KCmarket. mmm fruit loops. mike and our ride shows up and we head over to eh massy theatre for a tour.. which was awesome. so kewl. i'm not going into details cuz this seems long already. then walk, skytrain(loose michelle and ace to metro town and mike dicthed us for a sea plane.
215. we realize we will not catch the ferry we want and decided to go to rickies.mm breakfast. soo good. jill acuired a knife for kylan. then we go to catch the bus

kylan reads the shedual wrong so we think we have missed the bus and go for a walk down granvill to the rock shop. i baught a funky necklace that i feel straingly connected to. head back to the bus. hey it;s michelle and ace.
current group: jill, ace, michelle, kylan, maddy nikki, spencer, myself

catch the bus( hey it;s a jo! and mr grumpy).. miss the ferry by like 10 minuts. lame. wait around in a coffee shop then the terminal. spot a trish. yay trish for winning tow gold metals.. woot

on the ferry. we manager to aquire a the perfect seats. and have a chill ride home. kylan and i where grossly over priced for tea.. it;s mostly fucking hot water.. grr.. next time we are making our own
kylan aquires a spoon, knife, fork. I a spoon and we both grab some sugar packets.
arrive in nanaimo... nikki has a parking ticket that is either 27 or 50 dollaras.. lame.. i shall give her some money.
i get dropped off at spencers to find that the drivers side mirrow on my car has been busted off.. not kewl. it;s funny i never realised how much i used my mirror, until i truned my head and had to look at a little metal stub.grrr i decided that it happened because i stole a bunch of things( glass spoon

so anyways i am back to today when i woke up feeling wonderfully happy yet crappy and left work early beaucuse of it. it;s karma evening things out

i went and baught some cheap books at chapers. they are ok,but nothing special.


oh yea if anyone is interested the blood services phoned they are having a clinic feb 20th - 22.. i knwo gragoire wanted to donate blood. and if anyone eles wanted we could go as a big fun blood giving group.*shrug* anyways. farewaell to all. i hope you enjyoed my story and i appologise now for all the spelling and gramatical errors

*waves*

I wish ...

so today i was pretty angry earlier on, for an emulsion of differnt reasons althought they mostly resule from similar things. i was furiouse. i needed to step out and get it out. i wrote some stuff down and it actaully helped alot. i was able to keep going with the rest of my day. i was going to post it as soon as i wrote it but was unable to. then i didn;t know if i should becuase it is fairly harsh. but i decided i would becuase i am done with forgetting how i feel all the time and moving on. cuz i dont really move on , i just supress it and then it comes back even worse, which contributes to my up and down days. so this is me getting it out. you probably won;t like it.it's harsh, i know but i'm tired of keeping it in.

I wish..
..you would listen to what i tell you
..you would respect what i say
..you would realize i never loved you
and never will
..I didn't remember what you did to me...
fucking pervert
..you knew how fucked up you are for doing it
i'm done denying it
..you didn;t always touch me
it makes me uncomforatble
..you would remember that i told you this already
.. i won't have to have to tell you this again
..you would realize it will never be the same
and yes this time, it is your fault


I wish..
.. i learned things much faster than i do
.. i said how i feel, when i feel it
.. i wasn't my own worst enemy

.. i could kiss you at any time of the day
.. you would invite me over when other people are already there
.. i wish i didn't have to be your little secret

there it is, said. realize right now i don;t have the same emotion, like right now i am content for the most part and my mind is fairly blank. but i needed to write this because it's important to get out. just cuz i dont feel anything right now , doesn't mean these feelings arn't very important, infact they are becase why would they keep comming up in my head if they wheren't.